And just so you know it isn’t all gloom and doom around here:  a haiku, offered happily: My military- style assault rifle’s pregnant! Molon Labe, bitches.

The House is said to working on behind-the-scenes secret “immigration reform”; the Senate is about to green-light gun-control measures (a cap on mag capacity, entirely unenforcible “universal background checks,” if I had to guess — which will later be added to a vaguely worded sense of the Senate resolution by Reid, with his controlling the process, giving cover to vulnerable Senators), with perhaps a few Republicans breaking ranks and yielding

…Which we know, because he broke the news at the NYT, a bastion of conservatism.  Seems Rove thinks he can play the left’s game against the right:  define conservatism down so that centrist RINOism becomes the new “conservative right wing,” and the TEA Partiers, constitutional conservatives, classical liberals, and libertarians can become the new fringe Birchers. Of course, this has the effect of positioning the far left as moderate, but

Following that logic, Paul himself will be killed when a few bricks of squirreled-away gold bullion fall from one of his isolated shelves and brain the old crank. Jesus.  Too bad he didn’t dress up as Genghis Khan and pretend to toss a few medals onto the White House lawn.  Obama’d probably name him assistant Secretary of State. (h/t Darleen)

Only this time, written by people other than discredited, fringe Visigoths such as me.   Who, like me,  I believe need to be frozen out from the “conservative” punditry industry post haste, if we’re ever going to win elections stealthily, then stealthily pursue liberal policies to fool the liberals and moderates into allowing us to keep power. Let the backdoor whisper campaign begin!  Today’s scapegoat?  Jerry Bowyer, a Forbes contributor. 

And even if they were, would it matter in the new political world of post-constitutional government, where the Senate Majority has agreed to hand control of its legislative agenda to the historic teflon Executive, and has acted as both his shield and his sword? Marc Thiessen: Imagine if The Post broke a story about the biggest scandal of the Obama-era — and Washington responded with a collective yawn? That’s precisely

Bruce Almighty script memorizer Jim Carrey, learning of this, immediately took to Twitter and called Beyonce and her entourage “soulless hoarders of electrical energy” with “little  in their bodies worth saving.” Then, to reinforce his point, he bitch slapped one of his black cleaning ladies and told her never again to darken his mansion’s doorstep. Or so rumor has it.

CNS: Actor Jim Carrey said Saturday that anyone who has bought an “assault rifle” since the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School retain little that is “worth protecting.” “[Anyone] who would run out to buy an assault rifle after the Newtown massacre has very little left in their body or soul worth protecting,”said Carrey on Twitter, Feb. 2. Which is why God granted dominion to good and wise men

Narrated by children. With patriotic music playing in the background. While calling for un-enforcible “universal background checks” that will effectively criminalize the transfer of firearms from father to son, mother to daughter, etc. — and claim to end private transactions, even while it will likely only impact those citizens most likely to comply. Meaning, not criminals. Couple this with a gun registry, and you’ll have the left’s holy grail of