In case you need to be reminded why the guy oughta be in jail. Pardon me . . . where’s the vomitorium? Paula Abdul says she didn’t figure out her purpose in life until she became a judge on Fox network’s “American Idol.” “I knew since I was a little girl that I had this profound way of touching people. My purpose is bringing out everybody’s best and being that

me: “Okay, not bad.  Now, concentrate on your aim.  Or else, give me some advance warning that you plan to let things fly, and I’ll stretch you a canvas.  After all, we may as well turn a profit on this thing—and if you can squeeze off a pattern that looks even remotely like Mother Theresa, we can make a killing, after which you can soil yourself until the cows come

1.  Conversation between Cindy Sheehan and Billy Jack.  Punchline:  something having to do with Sheehan’s being the “face” of a movement, with a possible play on “movement.” Or “face.” or “Jack.” 2.  Miss USA booed by Mexicans—who again show open hostility to Americans (recall chants of “Osama! Osama! Osama!”)—during Miss Universe pageant and attendant publicity blitz.  Juxtapose with George Bush’s noting that those who use “amnesty” with respect to the

Still working on the WordPress build—a process slowed by doctor’s appointments and some other medical issues.  Once it’s up and running, I’m going to give it 2 months to gel. After that, if I don’t see an improvement in traffic I’ll be calling it quits as a daily blogging site.  It takes a special talent to hemorrhage readers like I have, so I think it best to put that talent

this way, but what she’s arguing for is more modesty: I will never forget a visit I made to Ilana, an old friend who had become an Orthodox Jew in Jerusalem. When I saw her again, she had abandoned her jeans and T-shirts for long skirts and a head scarf. I could not get over it. Ilana has waist-length, wild and curly golden-blonde hair. “Can’t I even see your hair?”