—Uh, no. In fact, I’m so up to my elbows in paperwork that I force fed the little armored bastard a Ziploc baggie full of Quaaludes—then, when he fell into a comfortably numb stupor, I used a 3/8” linoleum blade to carve a relief of my signature into one of his little padded feet. Now, whenever I need to sign something, I just dip his wee whittled tootsie into an