Hey, I know Peanut! In fact, I used to buy my weed from that dude — until this one time when he laced a $20 bag with some dried mint flakes, and I nearly smoked myself into a menthol-induced coma. Or maybe it was parsley he laced it with, I can’t remember. I just know I was miserable for a good month after that — though strangely, my breath was

And of course, every worthwhile conspiracy theory makes use of the Jerry Lee Lewis meme… Remember (he said, cryptically): “There’s only one meat man…” Indeed.

“About 60 people attended the recent funeral of a teen-ager found dead near railroad tracks in the small Texas town of Calvert. The youth apparently fell, jumped or was pushed from a passing train. Exactly what happened to him probably will be a mystery forever, because he died about 80 years ago.” I was gonna comment on this, but then it occurred to me: this is a job for Gordie

Okay. But what’s so special about the almighty nipple…?

“GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip (AP) – Thousands of banner-waving Palestinians marched on Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat’s Gaza offices Monday, protesting the lack of jobs or financial support for the unemployed. “About 4,000 demonstrators, many accompanied by their children, took to the streets, some with rounds of pita bread fixed to the top of their banners to symbolize their struggle for daily bread.” Choking on bureaucracy and repression, but otherwise starving…

Shocking! Outrageous! Libelous! A report by Arab intellectuals commissioned by the United Nations warns that Arab societies are being crippled by a lack of political freedom, the repression of women and an isolation from the world of ideas that stifles creativity. Balderdash! Speciousness! Prevarication! Such conclusions are obviously fraudulent! The report notes that although oil income has transformed the landscapes of some Arab countries, the region remains ‘richer than it