I don’t get it. Is it that scimitars are just so cool looking? Flowing robes are less restrictive than jeans? What? What’s the draw of self defeat…?

I don’t get it. Is it that scimitars are just so cool looking? Flowing robes are less restrictive than jeans? What? What’s the draw of self defeat…?

Cecil Colson: “Should I bring lots of rubbers?”

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s supposed to be a conspiracy, remember…? (But while we’re fessing up… y’know that whole “Richard Gere visited a Hollywood emergency room with a gerbil trapped in his rectum” story? That was mine. Got tired of his yammering on about Tibet all the time. So.)

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s supposed to be a conspiracy, remember…? (But while we’re fessing up… y’know that whole “Richard Gere visited a Hollywood emergency room with a gerbil trapped in his rectum” story? That was mine. Got tired of his yammering on about Tibet all the time. So.)

Spc. Jeremy Sivits today pleaded guilty to criminal charges in the Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal and was sentenced to one year of being fed through an industrial plastic shredder. His sentence by a special court-martial judge includes discharge for bad conduct and demotion. Then the plastic shredder thing. And by “sentenced to one year of being fed through an industrial plastic shredder,” I really meant to write, “sentenced to one

For this contest. “If I can fit it in my mouth, I’ll eat it.” Or maybe… “Let me tell you about a little war called VietNam… Now, when I’m President…” h/t Michele

Anything organic scooped from Joy Behar’s skin folds Watery mucus (or loamy things) Any Ratt CD not named Out of the Cellar The videotaped taunting of a developmentally disabled child Low-carb light beer Mealy, bruised peaches Cynthia McKinney’s dirty thong “Little Noam” Porksicles **** Story Bonus links: Related. Not related. And bring me the head of Alfredo Copperheadfedayeen (not only unrelated, but barely even comprehensible). Oh, and OTB.

Kerry: “Luch

Britney Spears, completely naked…!