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1. Comment by Luciferous on 9/30 @ 9:46 pm #

   Does THIS make the monkey dance?

2. Comment by Jeff Goldstein on 9/30 @ 9:53 pm #

   The monkey doesn’t surface until Fridays.  He’s a notorious mid-week recluse.

3. Comment by David Gillies on 9/30 @ 10:14 pm #

   I imagine your nipples must be positively riotous at this point. I know mine are.

4. Comment by Russell Wardlow on 9/30 @ 10:43 pm #

   This whole memo thing reminds of that Kids in the Hall sketch where <a href=”http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/three/staydown.html”>the little guy won’t stay down</a>.

5. Comment by Bill in CO on 9/30 @ 10:49 pm #

   No!  I had David Hailey Jr., Ph.D. verify a letter I got from Santa that made clear I’d be getting a new Dodge Viper and a date with J Lo for Christmas since I’ve been such a good boy.

   Now that’s all in question?

   Shit.

6. Comment by kelly on 9/30 @ 11:14 pm #

   So all those Nigerian emails I get are a scam but the overall story is true?

   And the penis enlargement emails as well?

   How about…oh, never mind.

   Couldn’t the monkey at least show up a few hours early for once, fercryinoutloud? Is that too much to ask? Lazy primates, anyway.

7. Comment by Sean M. on 9/30 @ 11:35 pm #

   Well, kelly, if you’re anything like the Kos Kids and you really, really want those emails to be true, well, Perfesser Hailey can authenticate them for you!

8. Comment by kelly on 10/1 @ 12:01 am #

   True as in CBS true? Or true as in really, really, hope-to-god-this-will-finally-nail-McSmirky-chimp-please-disregard-any-acknowledgement-of-a-god-but-if-there- were -a-god-let-this-be-true, kind of true? Because I really don’t want to get my hopes up.

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