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Channeling Derek Smalls

May I raise a practical question at this point? Are these the kinds of “moderates” we’re supposed to be trying to win over? These? These?

Also, are we going to do “Stonehenge” tomorrow?

Face it: At some point you just have to point and laugh at midgets clad in tights dancing around a wrongly-scaled hunk of styrofoam to the plaintive pluckings of a lyre.

And fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.*

(h/t Dan and Jer)

68 Replies to “Channeling Derek Smalls”

  1. B Moe says:

    Maybe if Rush used a laugh track?

  2. blowhard says:

    David St. Hubbins: It’s such a fine line between stupid, and clever.

  3. psycho... says:

    I don’t know why, exactly, and it’s nothing personal, but the particular phrasing of toldjah’s free-speech sentimentality really fries my ass:

    That’s what this country is all about.

    No. Just fucking no.

    That gang of fascist shits is what this country is all about.

    There was a lull. Almost everyone of commentary-making age grew up in it. It was mostly pleasant, superficially. And it was a lull.

    This is America. Welcome to it. It sucks.

  4. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    The stockboy dude on gandelman’s blech page was at least truthful in his name. A stockboy, indeed. These people are republicans, which are not conservatives anymore. That ship has sailed. Or sunk. Either way, fuck you republicans who don’t understand what your party once stood for. Fuck you up your prudish tightly clenched asses. BTW, the killing of the pirates thing. Cool…and about time. But, BO is just a killer of rambunctious teenage muslim boat enthusiasts. At least that would be the lead if it was the dastardly Buuuuuuuussshhhhh who ordered that deed.

  5. happyfeet says:

    Mr. Limbaugh is right that if Bush had ordered the shooting of teenage pirates what were hungry and scared the NPR would have held a wake for them and toted up the damage to American prestige. Never let a crisis go to waste is something NPR propagandists didn’t need to be taught.

  6. Phil says:

    This graphic cannot be distributed enough times to the “moderates”.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/graphic/2009/03/21/GR2009032100104.html?sid=ST2009032100105

    Obama’s OWN budget numbers project annual TRILLION dollar deficits as far out as 2019 and beyond. These are not my numbers, or Fox News numbers or even BOOOSH!!’s deficit numbers, but the Administration’s very own estimates. In other words, the deficit is likely to be worse since their estimates are naturally…rosy shall we say. (too mean spirited?)

    All of us here oppose the above bankrupting of the nation under the Democrats watch. We ARE the fucking moderates. And the so-called “moderates” we’re supposed to pander to can meet us in the middle when they walk over to where WE are fucking standing.

    And to the Pragmatic Conservatives who ask of us to follow the Democrats over the cliff, go fuck yourself.

  7. Rob Crawford says:

    After years of lefties buying every claim that a wedding party, funeral, day care center, or bunny farm was bombed, they have no room to bitch about a joke at Obama’s expense.

    Hey, wait, wasn’t Obama the one who said all our troops are doing in Afghanistan is “air raiding villages”?

  8. Vinny Vidivici says:

    Obstreperous:

    Bingo. It’s the narrative. We don’t see the usual handwringing about the failure to resolve the standoff peacfully because after all the lifeboat couldn’t go anywhere, blah, blah, blah. We HAVE seen the 10,000 Bin Ladens argument pop up in some places, and there has been some throat-clearing from the blame-ourselves-first/root causes chorus.

    But otherwise, coverage has largely been one long paraphrase of the Clinton-inauguration fly-by declaration — ‘those are OUR jets now’.

    And some commenters there clearly didn’t bother to listen to Rush’s tongue-in-cheek riff — but then, they never do.

  9. Wm T Sherman says:

    “UNC-CH geography professor Altha Cravey joined protesters”

    Does anyone else read that as “Alpha Crazy” at first glance?

  10. happyfeet says:

    psycho makes the world better. Maybe kinda grimmer, but better.

  11. cranky-d says:

    psycho does not pull his punches, that’s for sure.

  12. JD says:

    Fuckin’ midgets …

  13. happyfeet says:

    The AP propaganda ones are a lot relentless with their new narrative…

    Housing construction unexpectedly plunged, the number of people receiving jobless benefits grew and JPMorgan Chase & Co. said its first-quarter profit dropped compared with last year.

    […]

    All told, growing evidence indicates the economy may be stabilizing.*

    Christopher S. Rugaber is pulling my dick methinks.

  14. Tman says:

    NO WE’RE NOT GONNA FUCKING DO STONEHENGE!!!!!

  15. B Moe says:

    UNC-CH geography professor Alpha Cravey joined protesters in chanting the names of Marco Polo and Christopher Columbus.

    So Columbus is cool again? I can never keep this shit straight!

  16. Phil says:

    The AP propaganda ones are a lot relentless with their new narrative…

    Housing construction unexpectedly plunged, the number of people receiving jobless benefits grew and JPMorgan Chase & Co. said its first-quarter profit dropped compared with last year.

    […]

    All told, growing evidence indicates the economy may be stabilizing.*

    Christopher S. Rugaber is pulling my dick methinks.

    Old Media Narrative: Bush sucks. The economy sucks.
    New Media Narrative: Putting aside the fact that everything is falling apart, it could be a whole lot worse….Where did I put my Obama bumper sticker? Honey, have you seen it?

  17. Letitbeme says:

    Nigel Tufnel mimics MSM obtuseness on Tea Partiers … quoit noicely:

    “Naw one knows .. hue day wuh, o’ … whu’day wuh dooin’ … “

  18. phreshone says:

    Code Pink certainly goes to eleven…

    Don’t forget: Mime is money… the end of yours that is…

  19. urthshu says:

    “The People know! The People know….”

  20. phreshone says:

    Rino’s… it’s not that they’re less popular, its that their appeal is becoming more selective

  21. phreshone says:

    Don’t worry. Boston is not a big college town…

  22. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    psycho is priceless. He’d probably tell me I’m full of shit for saying that, but the guy is priceless. I think I’m starting to join in his nilhilism, which, as a Christian, is scaring the fuck out of me. But, it is what it is.

  23. Ella says:

    Obstreperous Infidel, look at it this way. Jesus said, “Be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.” Not “Be of good cheer, because the world totally rocks, as-is.”

    I mean, eventually, this world is going to be overcome. Because of the suckage.

  24. Ella says:

    That’s in the Bible!

  25. meghan says:

    You can channel Spinal Tap as much as you want. Hopefully the herpes lesions won’t carry over.

  26. meya says:

    “That gang of fascist shits is what this country is all about.”

    Its not like they threw tancredo’s tea into the harbor.

  27. meghan says:

    Ooh, burn, meya.

    How many hours did it take you to come up with that one?

  28. meghan says:

    I’ve been missing our Megahn. Glad to see she’s back.

    [sockpuppets? What are those?]

  29. kelly says:

    beta testing

  30. JD says:

    I see meya hates the 1st Amendment, and loves herself some fascism.

  31. Mikey NTH says:

    #12 They weren’t midgets! They were hobbits! Hobbits dancin’ with glee!

    The end times are here; the one ring’ll be found and then we’ll be up to our eyebrows in orcs! And the gnomes will have stolen our underpants!

    *grumble* stupid right-wing extremists givin’ us a plague of hobbits, gnomes, and orcs with no fresh BVDs in sight…*grumble*

    We need moderates who can keep this hobbit-plague under control and regulated, with orc-slaughters only every other Saturday and underpants gnomes restricted to take away only the socks left over after the washer has eaten the other half of the pair.

  32. meya says:

    “I see meya hates the 1st Amendment, and loves herself some fascism.”

    Such ugly words for a party.

  33. Mikey NTH says:

    Was that cranky and unmoored from reality enough to get me a gig with the MSM?

    I’ll help take away their money before they totally implode, but I got to know…

    was that CNN worthy?

  34. Ella says:

    Mikey – meh. I’d say NPR. I could see an NPR story in that.

  35. JD says:

    I am not having a party, meya, you little fascist. I am pointing out that your seething hatred of the 1st Amendment, and your orgasmic embrace of fascism is quite ugly. Own it.

  36. JHoward says:

    Well, meya’s got that cool, penetrating snark going for it.

    No point, no principle, no respect, and all day to practice. Look, it’s a liberal.

  37. Dash Rendar says:

    Ohhh the cockles of my little extremist heart are so warm today. It feels like…escalation. I see tar and feathers in our future.

  38. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Where did I put my Obama bumper sticker?

    Anyone know of a good “scraping tool” stock?

    I’m counting the days until my hippie neighbors down the street take down their Obama sign.

    That will be the point of inflection.

  39. Dash Rendar says:

    Do you think if I buy a Gadsden flag on amazon that other socialist sleeze cooze woman will be all up in my IP?

  40. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Such ugly words for a party.

    Ugly words for an ugly philosophy.

    You’re a fascist, meya. Own it!

  41. Dash Rendar says:

    Maybe we could call it the yellow revolution on account of all the yellow flags, but that sounds kind of gayish. Well at least we’ll know it was the moment the socialist cooze people were driven back into their underground lairs to fester with the molepeople.

  42. Matt says:

    conservative protest babes = win + they shave and smell nice. And any good looking woman carrying a sign mocking Obama is … well it brings a tear to my eye.

  43. Dash Rendar says:

    Its perhaps a nice contrast to the aforementioned socialist cooze people that one can go to a demonstration and not see a flag desecrated nor any sagging aged harpy boobs.

  44. blowhard says:

    Is anyone else personally proud of themselves for only posting one Spinal Tap quote in this thread?

    *

  45. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Hey, your post is #44.

    That’s, like, 4 times louder than 11.

  46. blowhard says:

    It’s 4x one louder, innit?

  47. Sdferr says:

    Wrong Smalls. Leonard “Send an Outlaw to find an Outlaw” Smalls is the better bet, excepting of course, that little problem with the pin.

  48. blowhard says:

    Sdferr, that was a most unexpected allusion.

    “My friends call me Lenny… only I ain’t got no friends.”

  49. meya says:

    “Obama’s OWN budget numbers project annual TRILLION dollar deficits as far out as 2019 and beyond. ”

    Don’t worry yo. We’ll cut taxes, that raises revenues, and we’ll pay off that deficit.

  50. router says:

    Don’t worry yo. We’ll cut taxes, that raises revenues, and we’ll pay off that deficit.

    what’s the expiration date for that?

  51. meya says:

    “what’s the expiration date for that?”

    The Laffer curve? As long as people buy it, I guess.

  52. blowhard says:

    meya, you do realize that the current head of the CEA is famous for researching effects remarkably like the Laffer curve, don’t you?

    Tell me, at what point would you cede ground to empiricism?

  53. elktrumpet says:

    I think meya honestly believes that she is scoring with her “shots,” when she really is a poor imitation of actus.

  54. blowhard says:

    Don’t worry, meya, I’ll wait for you to do a google search and then vaguely misinterpret what you find.

  55. blowhard says:

    That’s an subpar try, meya.

    Tell me why you think Romer is all wet. Why Obama would appoint someone so obviously out to lunch. C’mon, break through the cognitive dissonance and explain it to me.

  56. blowhard says:

    *, warning, pdf.

  57. blowhard says:

    The good news, we finally made it around to econ. I know econ.

    The bad news, I’m discussing this with meya.

  58. router says:

    Don’t worry about the deficit. We’ll pay it with tax cuts.

    fuck you communist. the ohole wants to bankrupt the economy so he can be the “dear leader”

  59. blowhard says:

    Would it help, meya, if I gave you the keywords you should be searching Google for?

  60. meya says:

    Isn’t it enough to just know the Laffer curve?

  61. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    As long as people buy it, I guess.

    Mathematics? The Intermediate Value Theorem? Moron.

    One can have a reasonable argument about where the current tax rate is located along the Laffer Curve.

    That the Laffer Curve does operate as described isn’t subject to debate, unless you are stupid or a liar.

    In your case, you’re both. Also a fascist.

  62. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    (sound of SFAG frantically googling)

  63. Joe says:

    Comment by B Moe on 4/16 @ 4:17 pm #

    Maybe if Rush used a laugh track?

    You made me laugh with that comment!

  64. Joe says:

    Jeff, you are not using teabagging enough in your sentances.

  65. MarkD says:

    No Renaissance Festival fans here? The mud pit was pretty funny, and I think it should be mandatory for members of Congress to settle their differences by jousting.

    With pointed lances and sharp swords.

  66. Is that first link a joke? It’s a parody site, right? Right?

  67. […] follow-up to Jeff’s post from yesterday, John Ziegler talks about his ordeal at USC, where he attempted to interview people going to the […]

  68. Dave says:

    The link broght be to a bunch of forced cluelessness. At least I hope it was forced. How can libs/moderates understand so much about the arts, um, music and the er, arts…but not understand satire?

    They want it both ways: Bush is an evil and manipulative idiot…and Rush is a “entertainer” who is also the leader of the GOP…cause we say so. And anything he says thats not PC gets criticized. Jeesh. What a bunch of Poindexters.

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