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Another moment of unabashed OUTLAW pragmatism

Sure, I know I’m supposed to break down cardboard boxes before I put them in the recycle bin. But fuck it, I took a chance.

And if the truck decides it doesn’t want to pick ’em up as is, those boxes can sit there in the street until they become moldy or weather shredded — or home to a family of angry bobcats, for all I care.

It ain’t like my name’s on the things.

74 Replies to “Another moment of unabashed OUTLAW pragmatism”

  1. Ed Flinn says:

    Sticking it to the cardboard man!

  2. urthshu says:

    LOL we have contractors that pick up our trash and recyclables. One early morning, I watched as the guy dumped the trash into one side of the truck, with the recycling into the other side – one garbage truck, side by side stuff. He said they sort it out later. Riiiiight.

  3. Squid says:

    Just be thankful your name isn’t Sam Corrugated.

  4. doubled says:

    But do you refuse to wash out your alcohol bottles before putting those in the bin?

    Might as well go full bore.

  5. Sean M. says:

    RACIS–oh, sorry. It’s becoming kind of a reflex.

  6. happyfeet says:

    I break down boxes compulsively. Too many restaurant jobs way back when I guess.

  7. Sdferr says:

    Cardboard boxes look like fuel to me. But then, I want a warmer earth.

  8. McGehee says:

    You call yourself an outlaw but you recycle your cardboard?

    Wannabe.

  9. Mossberg500 says:

    I pick up my dog’s shit, put it in a cardboard box, and place it in the recycle bin. It’s like animal fecal composting and recycling all in one, win-win!

  10. Roland THTG says:

    You call yourself an outlaw but you recycle your cardboard?

    I leave mine out in the rain so they get all squishy and shit.
    The only thing I save is beer cans, I trade them for money!

  11. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    “Recycling” cardboard costs The Man more money than it generates. We should all make sure to recycle as much cardboard as we can.

    Alinsky rules, bitches. Make them live up to their obligations!

    Aluminum, on the other hand, should never be recycled in a curbside bin. Save it until you have enough to take to the salvage yard yourself. They’ll give you cold, hard cash for it.

  12. N. O'Brain says:

    Didn’t Squishy Cardboard sign with Relapse Records?

  13. Roland THTG says:

    And brass. Always save your brass. Unless it’s that crappy Chinese stuff with Berdan primers, then nevermind.

  14. scooter (still not libby) says:

    Geez, do the Chinese make ANYTHING that’s not crap?

    Besides Kung Pao chicken, I mean.

  15. TheUnrepentantGeek says:

    Soon Jeff will be abusing insolent fax machines. Cardboard boxes are a gateway drug.

  16. Mossberg500 says:

    Geez, do the Chinese make ANYTHING that’s not crap?

    Melamine, they just have’t found the proper application for it, yet!

  17. Tman says:

    This Penn and Teller Bullshit episode about recycling should be required viewing for every resident in US, the state of Colorado in particular.

    http://www.videosift.com/video/Penn-Teller-Bullshit-Recycling

  18. John Cheshire says:

    Today I used the same butter knife for the jelly that I used for the peanut butter without washing it off. It left little peanut chunks in the jelly. My wife only like creamy PB but fuck it!

    I’M OUTLAW!

  19. Jeffersonian says:

    Once O! is president, cardboard boxes will break themselves down. It’s only The Man that’s been keeping this from happening.

  20. alppuccino says:

    It left little peanut chunks

    Chew more.

    Jeff,

    We’ve got a burn pile here at the Morrow County, OH compound. Bring over the boxes, and what the hell, we’ll throw a couple tires on there for longevity.

  21. TaiChiWawa says:

    Next you’ll be ignoring the “Repeat” step in the shampoo instruction sequence.

  22. pdbuttons says:

    if u scrape the cheese out of the pizza boxes
    that’s -like- carbs-right?
    half of a push-up your way!
    it’s a smile/not a grimace

  23. And I’m ignoring the signs and glaring straight at the laser in the grocery scanner, Clint Eastwood hell yeah.

  24. pdbuttons says:

    grimance
    snap
    too fast!

  25. Lisa says:

    Litterer! a href=”http://www.ufodigest.com/news/0108/images/debunkers.jpg”>Globalfuckingwarmer!!!!1!!

  26. Lisa says:

    Woops, tagspazz!!! Try again:

    Litterer! Globalfuckingwarmer!!!!1!!

  27. IWood says:

    EARTH RAPIST!!!!

  28. pdbuttons says:

    my favorite lil bitch thang global warning bitch fuck u fuck is….
    i live in boston
    i drive to cambridge and empty my ash tray!
    on ur bike path!
    steer right-u queer!
    puff puff

  29. twolaneflash says:

    Never break down a cardboard box, JG. Get an ACORN mortgage on the thing in the ‘dillo’s name, and don’t forget to register the new little homeowner to vote while you’re at it. Can you get a mortgage for a cardboard house? Yes You Did.

  30. baxtrice says:

    Don’t forget to write “FACIST!” or “Imperialist” on the cardboard box.

  31. psycho... says:

    RACIS–oh, sorry. It’s becoming kind of a reflex.

    “La la la I can’t hear it!”

    You’re not fooling anyone, RACIST.

    Cardboard is the same color as paper bags. Dealey Plaza is a street. The guy who owns the Bobcats runs BET. Q.E.D.

    If you really can’t hear the call for some reality TV whistling away there behind the suburban ennui, it’s because your skin privilege allows you to pass through life in RACIST ignorance. D.E.Q.

    Nowhere to run to, baybay!

  32. pdbuttons says:

    ’tis snot a litter
    it’s a political statement!
    dissent is flavor country..
    got a light?

  33. pdbuttons says:

    maya buttermilk punjab mix
    gaggle?
    a herd?
    a word?
    freedom!

    bagle?
    home fries?
    mcmuffin
    not my drive thru!

    stab
    stab my country

    i’m healed

    heeled like a lap dog

    sit up
    roll over
    roll roll tootsie roll
    sticks in ya toot
    rootie tootie root beer

    oppressor!

    [hat tip to ace of spades]

  34. pdbuttons says:

    snap
    going 4 the 4 4 4

    susan collins
    olypia snowe
    i do NOT want u to make out…
    how’s about being/a little more/sessions like?

  35. Vladimir says:

    There are people in my building that, despite the sign that shows pictures of glass bottles and aluminum cans above the recycle bins, still put styrofoam with food remnants in there.

    I’m convinced that it’s not a language problem and that it’s hyper vigilant save-the-earthism.

  36. pdbuttons says:

    thank u all u funyum peeps
    [u know who u are!]
    good night
    good grief
    chucky brown

  37. pdbuttons says:

    damn #35
    i’m going 4 4 4 4
    vlads a smoking name tho

  38. happyfeet says:

    Bad kitty.

  39. Bob Reed says:

    What would have been truly outlaw would have been to *shudder* mix them in with the regular garbage…

    Or maybe, writing on the side of the boxes, in non-VOH oil paint, “EFF YOU signed Outlaw!

    Ooooooh, doesn’t bein’ Outlaw! makes you feel sooooooo edgy…

  40. Sdferr says:

    Barack Obama (making what I see as a chilling joke) from his news conference just held, in answer to a question about the dog he recently promised his children: “…We would like to get a shelter dog but [they are often not hypoallergenic] most of them are a mutt, like me.”

    *shudder*

    So he sees himself as a mixture of breeds? Damnit.

  41. JBean says:

    Sdferr —

    Did you notice how he referred to the tax cuts in the past tense?

    Hold on to them boxes, outlaws. Warmth.

  42. BJTexs says:

    Um, Jeff: Did you bundle?

    Cuz there’s Outlaw Rebel Boy and then there’s just anarchy.

  43. Sdferr says:

    I didn’t catch that JBean, but in my defense he may have said it at one of those moments I had my head in my hands while groaning aloud.

  44. What’s a recycle bin?

  45. Lisa says:

    Cuz there’s Outlaw Rebel Boy and then there’s just anarchy.

    LOL!!!

  46. Jeff G. says:

    I watched the director’s cut of the Warriors the other night. Gotta get me one of those vests.

  47. BJTexs says:

    You’ve already got the Louisville slugger, I presume. Now you just have to kearn to Jazz Dance in perfect time with your gang mates and then …

    Oops! Wrong movie…

  48. BJTexs says:

    JAZZ HANDS, EVERYBODY!!!!

  49. Jeff G. says:

    My Outlaw name is Swan.

    Though I liked Ajax’s Tom Paine attitude.

  50. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Not Emmanuel?

  51. nawoods says:

    So now what happens with that $600 million dollar organization the progressives built to win/buy this election? Does it just fade away? Or does it get used in part to form the Green Squad that will make sure you break down those boxes?

  52. HeatherRadish says:

    I refuse to wash my garbage.

    The Great Lakes are precious. I refuse to waste them by using them to wash garbage.

    Lake Michigan vs. The Planet. I’ve made my stand.

  53. davis,br says:

    Dude! – I like sooooo make sure that I take an Xacto knife to every incoming box and envelope, and denude it of my name & address. Its simply the Right Thing To Do. I’m there.

  54. pdbuttons says:

    my outlaw mame is bjork
    i’m easy to spot-i’ll be wearing a dress
    a swan dress
    and i might yodel in your face
    but that’s if i’m in my ‘throw-up’ mode

  55. lee says:

    The funniest? Really?

    You need more introspection I think.

  56. Mossberg500 says:

    Galaxy Quest? How fucking gay are you, caricature? Was Galaxy Quest an adolescent substitute for no daddy-love? Is this your pathetic attempt at attracting web traffic? You’re a marshmallow with a bad combover!

  57. Mossberg500 says:

    make room for no daddy
    caric longs for the juice
    of his Uncle Tonoose
    because ric’s that girl
    without the hair

  58. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    God, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

    You’re still here?

    The People have put you in charge of the presidency and both houses of Congress. Shouldn’t you be out working on the utopia thing?

    The time for criticism is past; now it’s time to perform.

    You have two years. Get busy on that free gas, bitch.

  59. Rusty says:

    #54
    Perfesser. When you get these ideas in your head, and you think they’re funny, and you just can’t wait to get them out? Give it a couple of minutes for the lame sink in and then go bake a pie or something.

  60. B Moe says:

    The funniest thing I have ever seen is Caric coming over here thinking he is being clever.

  61. Mossberg500 says:

    caricature didn’t get the daddy knee rides, and had to eat out of the doggie dish.

    perf, did you celebrate festivus? Are worlds colliding? Serenity now!!!

  62. Swen Swenson says:

    You left a cardboard box in the street! Jeez, do you want Thor to move in?

  63. guinsPen says:

    Now that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen.

  64. maggie katzen says:

    no bmoe, it’s just sad. He must be so lonely. I wonder if his favorite ficus died or something.

  65. happyfeet says:

    Ficuseses never go quickly. Ghastly thing to watch.

  66. J. Peden says:

    I watched the director’s cut of the Warriors the other night. Gotta get me one of those vests.

    From what I saw I think you/we might have to get a sex change. I know for sure that burning all plastics hasn’t worked yet.

  67. Jeff G. says:

    What’s amazing to me is Caric thinks, evidently, that I actually do this stuff. He seems to lack that tonal ability that most humans have that allows them to understand what it is about a thing that gives it its humor.

    In pointing to Caric, the humor comes from his lack of tonal ability. And the fact that he looks like he eats mayonnaise out of gallon jugs with a spatula.

  68. Patrick Chester says:

    JeffG wrote:

    What’s amazing to me is Caric thinks, evidently, that I actually do this stuff. He seems to lack that tonal ability that most humans have that allows them to understand what it is about a thing that gives it its humor.

    I’ve used this metaphor before, and I finally went out and found the scene on YouTube. Folk like Caric et al are like Dark Helmet in this scene when dealing with opponents. They have an image in their heads of what you are like/believe/etc and act it all out and draw conclusions from it.

    I doubt they actually have action figures when doing so, but you never know.

  69. Mossberg500 says:

    no daddy no cry
    no daddy no cry

    caric remembers when
    he got no daddy love
    every now and then
    he wear his daddy glove

    it was empty as
    a no daddy vow
    baggage he still has
    thinking about it now

    no daddy no cry
    no daddy no cry

    he have daddy hate
    he carry til today
    started at age of eight
    no wonder he gay

    life it not fair
    fill his eye with tears
    he willingly share
    with all his peers

    no daddy no cry
    no daddy no cry

  70. J. Peden says:

    I doubt they actually have action figures when doing so, but you never know.

    I’ll sure bet that a lot of BDS-model book publishers and prospective Sarah Palin Voodoo Kit vendors were very disappointed with the results of this election.

  71. J. Peden says:

    But we Warrior wannabees are finally in business for reals.

  72. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    I’ve got my beer bottle castanets ready to go.

  73. J. Peden says:

    Too funny, Spies, but for God’s sake just don’t try challenging fate with the Sean Penn mask!

  74. Jeff G. says:

    Obama has a kinda Cyrus vibe.

Comments are closed.