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‘All modern discoveries are by Muslim scientists’

What a post-modern discovery.  Start rewriting the history books: 

LAHORE: Muslim scientists have made all discoveries of the current age, said University of Columbia’s Arabic and Islamic Studies prof George Saliba at a seminar at the Government College University (GCU) on Monday. The seminar, titled The Problems of Historiography of Islamic Science, was held at Fazl-e-Hussain Hall. Saliba gave a critique of the standard classical accounts of the rise of Islamic science. He detailed problems in the accounts and explained alternative historiography that described the rise of an Islamic scientific tradition as a result of social and political conditions within the nascent Islamic empire. He said Muslim philosophy was the impetus behind Islamic science that had contributed to various disciplines including botany, zoology, algebra, trigonometry, physics, chemistry, astronomy, physics, chemistry, physiology and mathematics in the pre-industrial era. He said the use of decimal fractions was not a Western invention and that it was discovered by a Muslim scientist. He said the binary system, on which the computer was based, was also invented by a Muslim scientist. He said Arab/Islamic science was not an intermediary between Greek science and European science, but was rather the Renaissance that integrated the Islamic science with European science. Saliba also visited the English Language and Literature Department where he engaged faculty members in a conversation on the Islamic and Renaissance paradigms.

Gosh, they must be Sun People.

Mind you, this is an account of what Prof. Saliba is supposed to have said.  I’d be very interested to read the transcript of the presentation.  Having said that, I wonder whether he takes into account at all the persistence of the Hellenic tradition in the Byzantine Empire at all, or whether that would simply distract from the clean lines of this new paradigm.

Oh, well, I guess since they invented it all, we don’t really have the right to complain about this:

Ahmadinejad on Wednesday reiterated his rejection of any suspension of Iran’s enrichment activities, or even a compromise over how Tehran will proceed beyond the 3,000 centrifuges.

“The world must know that this nation will not give up one iota of its nuclear rights,” he said. “If they think they can get concessions from this nation, they are badly mistaken.”

And if all of that human progress emerged out of the philosophical basis of pure, unadulterated Islam, then certainly we can’t complain about living under a Global Caliphate, right?

101 Replies to “‘All modern discoveries are by Muslim scientists’”

  1. scooter (not libby) says:

    Yeah, well, the friggin’ Chinese invented Paper. And Gunpowder. So you’ll always be in second place, baby.

  2. I'm Just Saying says:

    You have a problem with this interpretation because…?

    Who the hell cares? The Muslims retained the classics, but never moved beyond them. The West picked them and created the modern world, with its medicine, and reliance on Muslim fossil fuels.

    Frankly, I’m not sure I’d want to take credit for the science that creates efficient genocide and nuclear weapons, but I’m willing to share.

    What I don’t see is how this interpretation offends anyone? Big deal, we already call them Arabic numerals. What have you done for science lately?

  3. The Ouroboros says:

    Prof Saliba then went on to list the following additional Islamic achievements; Islamic Football teams have won the last 41 Superbowl, Islamic Directors have won ‘Best Picture’ OSCARs 73 years running, Islamic Hip-Hop artists have won MTV Best Video awards for the last 23 years and Islamic chefs have won the prestigious Terlingua International Chili Cook Off for three straight decades and finally, Islamic stockcars have won every NASCAR race ever run at Talladega Superspeedway..

  4. JD says:

    Those first 40 Super Bowl winners may have been Islamic, but my Colts sure are not !!! The NASCAR part was hysterical.

    IJS – timmah, how are you?

  5. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Yeah, well, the friggin’ Chinese invented Paper. And Gunpowder.

    And rockets and movable type.

  6. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Big deal, we already call them Arabic numerals.

    Yep, we do. Except they came from India.

  7. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Somewhere I saw a spoof PC dictionary that had “Sun Person” and “Ice Person” as entries. The illustration under “Ice Person” was Mother Teresa; under “Sun Person,” Idi Amin.

  8. Mikey NTH says:

    #2 – there may have been more classics to pick from if the Muslims had not conquered the eastern provinces of the Byzantine Empire. Just sayin’.

  9. McGehee says:

    What I don’t see is how this interpretation offends anyone?

    “Everybody has a right to their opinion, but nobody has a right to be wrong in their facts.”

  10. Techie says:

    Recall that the Muslims burned the Library at Alexandria.

  11. Breaking News: Muslims Discovered Everything in the Known Universe

    Where would we be without the brilliant Muslim scientists?

  12. Swen Swenson says:

    What have you done for science lately?

    You.. You.. CHICKEN SCIENTIST!

  13. JohnAnnArbor says:

    The astronomy thing is no deep insight. Many, many stars have names that are obviously Arabic (Aldebaran, Algol, etc.). So? Thanks for the stellar atlases. We’ll invent telescopes, find comets and launch spacecraft.

  14. JD says:

    Chicken scientist? I thought the chicken scientist was the criminal that Clinton appointed to his Cabinet.

  15. scooter (not libby) says:

    Movable type? Gutenberg was Chinese? I had NO idea.

  16. JohnAnnArbor says:

    Gutenberg did it independently, though. Too bad Korea didn’t have an alphabet when they tried it.

  17. Rob Crawford says:

    Many, many stars have names that are obviously Arabic (Aldebaran, Algol, etc.).

    Betelgeuse.

  18. The Ouroboros says:

    Yeah, well, the friggin’ Chinese invented Paper. And Gunpowder.

    And rockets and movable type.

    .. and Kung Pao Chicken.. They invented that too.

  19. Prof. George Saliba says:

    Wrong.. Islamic Chefs invented Kung Pao Chicken 500 years before the chinese.. And fortune cookies.. We invented those too.

  20. Wait, I thought the Africans invented everything, then the Soviets took over in the 20th century. I can’t keep history by academia straight.

  21. The astronomy thing is no deep insight. Many, many stars have names that are obviously Arabic

    Incidentally, this was due to Zoroastrans, not Muslims.

  22. dicentra says:

    Chances are that this guy is not being misquoted in the least. Muslihoon told me offline once that most of the Muslims who live in the Muslim countries believe that everything good in the world is of Muslim origin, regardless of the evidence. They parse the Quran to show how it predicted or described modern scientific discoveries. Muslims believe that the leaders of other religions are actually Muslim or know that Islam is true, they just don’t admit it because they would lose their positions and income.

    If you want to get a good look at Xenophobia, look no farther than the darker recesses of the Muslim world. They honestly believe that nothing good comes from infidels and everything good comes from Islam. To admit otherwise is to bring dishonor on the Ummah, and Rule One in Muslim society is that you never speak ill of the Ummah to outsiders or bring dishonor to it by pointing out its flaws, weaknesses, and deficiencies.

    Some theorize that part of the reason for Muslim rage is the dishonor of being outshone so blatantly and drastically by the kuffar. And if someone disses you, the only way to restore your honor is to destroy the bringer of that dishonor, either through humiliation or bloodshed. Or both, if you can swing it.

  23. Veeshir says:

    Related.

    You guys also forgot that Islamic scientists invented the alphabet. It was originally called al Phai and it was invented by a Bedouin.

  24. scooter (not libby) says:

    Know what? Only question I care about is “Who invented ice cream?”

    What?

    Next someone will tell me that Muslim doctors invented breast implants! Ah, the humanity.

  25. BJTexs says:

    They parse the Quran to show how it predicted or described modern scientific discoveries. Muslims believe that the leaders of other religions are actually Muslim or know that Islam is true, they just don’t admit it because they would lose their positions and income.

    This grows quite naturally out of the Muslim legend of Christians and Jews knowing from their own erased scriptures that a messiah was coming and Muhammad fit the bill. The pure convenience of this assertation (a fable that has not been found in any writings, Christian or Jewish, mainstream or heretical. Not. One.) allows for the presentation of Islam’s dominance over other religions. It is a relatively small leap to then say that the leaders of those religions know this to be the case and are just hiding until the day that the 12th Imam (shi’ite) or Muhammad himself comes back to seperate Infidel from the Umma.

    The Qu’ran reads like 7th grader’s attempt to explain Christianity and Judaism with his own, narcissistic view, perfectly in tune with Muhammad’s lack of education and his merchant travels in Arabia absorbing parsed, second hand accounts of both religions.

  26. eLarson says:

    Yeah, sure… but we have Chuck Norris. Trumps. All.

  27. happyfeet says:

    Muslims are so insecure. It’s not attractive.

  28. Ric Locke says:

    Muslims didn’t invent “Arabic” numerals, but they did get them from India, realize their utility, and put them to use. When the Crusaders came along they simply copied the idea, but failed to realize what was going on and simply put them down on the page the same way the Arabs did. Arabs, of course, write from right to left, so they write the least significant digit first. In this way the “little Endian” vs. “big Endian” controversy was originated.

    Arabs were in fact the first to invent (or steal) most things. Of course they used them to count goats and make tents for their women to wear, and when we got hold of them we turned them to use. This accounts for the difference.

    Regards,
    Ric

  29. algore says:

    Don’t you dare try to take credit for my internets. Or my Nobel Prize. Oh, I suppose you invented Global Warming too, because of all of your Texas Tea? Let me be clear, we will no longer tolerate the combustion engine, a scourge if there ever was one. And if you want to try to take credit for any other of my accomplishments, like Love Canal, tongueing my wife on national TV, etc … then you can tell Allah and Mohammed that we are going to have a “Come to Jesus” meeting that will end with me sitting on them.

  30. MarkD says:

    “when we got hold of them we turned them to use.”

    Ric,

    Was it the goats, tents, or Arab women we found a use for? Because two of the three could explain why they don’t like us so much.

  31. Prof. George Saliba says:

    Yeah, sure… but we have Chuck Norris

    Think again, Kaffir.. The man you know from American movies as Chuck Norris was born Quarlos Norrisi al Tikriti in 1940 to a good Islamic family in Tikrit, Iraq.

    This is common knowledge in the Islamic caliphate..

  32. algore says:

    How dare you accuse me of screwing goats !!! Don’t you dare question my patriotism!

  33. Chuck Norris says:

    Come closer, perfessor…

  34. Prof. George Saliba says:

    .. and speaking of “trump”.. He’s one of ours too.

  35. The Joooooooooooooooooooooos says:

    Prof. Saliba – We have David Lee Roth, Arthur Fonzerelli, Diana Shore(a), Paul Newman, Goldie Hawn, and Hall of Famer Rod Carew.

    OJ Simpson – Not a Jew.

  36. Prof. George Saliba says:

    Ha! You wish.. Roth,Shore, Newman, Hawn..even al Fonzi.. All good Muslims simply hiding behind a Joooish beard to so they can “pass” in a Jooooooo dominated industry..

    ..and OJ.. Not sure about him, but I’ve heard rumors.. He’s been heard to say “Oy Vey” and “Meh”…

  37. Joooooooooos says:

    OJ Simpson – He’s a Muzzie.

  38. Fat Man says:

    OK they invented science, so what? How does that relieve them of responsibility for suicide bombing and treating women, Christians and Jews like dirt?

  39. Joooooooooos says:

    We will give you Muzzies credit for the following –

    1) Using children as bombs
    2) Being dumm enough to believe that virgins await martyrs
    3) Living in deserts and complaining about the lack of food
    4) Um Kathoum
    5) Belly dancing
    6) Tabouli
    7) Hummus
    8) Not personal hygiene
    9) Those cool blankets on your head, and
    10) Despite outnumbering us greatly, being so incompetent and inept so as to not drive us from OUR land, mother fucker.

  40. Prof. George Saliba says:

    Sure… Just like you Jews to Jooooo a whole people down to just 10 achievements.. Ok.. Tell you what.. Throw in Shish Taouk and we got a deal.

    ..but just so we understand each other.. #10 is still a work in progress.

  41. Joooooooooos says:

    On the other hand, we take credit for the following …

    Sarah Michelle Gellar
    Tony Curtis
    Lauren Bacall
    Sarah Jessica Parker
    Alicia Silverstone
    Kate Hudson
    Scarlett Johansenn
    Lisa Kudrow
    Mel Brooks
    Adam Sandler
    Irving Berlin
    Salinger
    Heller
    Oppenheimer
    Albert Einstein
    Lou Boudreau
    Hank Greenberg
    Sandy Koufax
    Red Auerbach
    Sid Gillman
    Sid Luckman
    Morgan Pressel
    Barbie Benton
    Caprice Bourret
    Brooke Burke
    Cindy Margolis
    Saul Bellow

    Take that, bitches.

  42. Joooooooooos says:

    Professor – #10 is only a work in progress in your own minds. Everyone else knows that we will kick your turban wearing assess all the way back into the Persian Gulf should you ever choose to fuck with us again. Remember that. Don’t forget it.

  43. Swede says:

    Lutherans invented fruit suspended in jello.

    And if any muslim tries to claim that one I WILL CUT YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF WITH A RUSTY OAR.

    Ok, that last part I stole from the muslims.

  44. JD says:

    Swede – That was classic.

  45. Seriously, here’s why Islamic science never amounted to anything, after the Middle Ages.

  46. Were they anything but a cosmic joke I’d give the list of Arab vs Jewish Nobel prize winners. It’s Godzilla v Bambi.

  47. ALLAH, PEACE BE UPON HIM says:

    Zionist pigs watch me beat this scimtar on my forehead until I bleed while you mock the undisputed fact that Islam has produced all that is good and just in this world the filthy jews have produced sex kitten actresses and swimsuit models that have accellerated the decline of the west and it not sits in ruins you should listen to the words of allah when mohammed tells us that islam is that which is good and peaceful and your pagan religions are an affront to deities everywhere all you do is peddle flesh and sin to the unsuspecting while we try to simply bring that which is good to the most people except for the filthy jews which we will kill in sha’ allah laugh now zionist fools while you still can the caliphate is coming

  48. ALLAH, PEACE BE UPON HIM says:

    I WILL CUT YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF WITH A RUSTY OAR.

    you will be first infidel for mocking us there will be no virgins or grapes awaiting you in hell zionist pig

  49. Swede says:

    Wouldn’t a grape in hell be more like a raisin?

    I’m just sayin’.

  50. Sean M. says:

    Gotta love that Muslim Space Program!

  51. Toby Petzold says:

    Really? A Farsi speaker used the phrase “one iota”? That’s either the coolest cross-cultural idiom ever or shit’s been gettin’ freelanced.

  52. Toby Petzold says:

    Swede:

    Lutherans invented fruit suspended in jello.

    Isn’t that grandfather to what I’ve recently been told is a Watergate salad? With the pistachios and the whipped cream/green jello weirdness? It always shows up at Xmas, but I just as often try to avoid it.

  53. Darleen says:

    #54 Toby

    I like the Watergate … and there’s another greenstuff made with lime jello, pistachio pudding, pears and whipped cream that’s always been a holiday fave

    for me… its the corruption of the innocent yam, slathered in maple syrup, brownsugar and marshmellows that is the abomination.

    I blame the Baptists.

  54. Dan Collins says:

    I love the yam, but the yam requires the butter.

  55. Prof. George Saliba says:

    Alicia Silverstone is a Jew ??? Who knew? So, is she a practicing, you know JEW Jew or liberal progressive kinda Jew that might be excited by some cross-cultural schtooping with a very masculine, manly Arab man ? Cause ever since I saw her in The Crush at the Damascus Regency 32 back in ’93 I’ve been wantin some of that coos-coos… I’m just sayin..

  56. Prof. George Saliba says:

    .. Oh.. and Alicia, if you’re reading this know that if you Do want to hook up.. as instructed by Allah, the most merciful and beneficent, I will never beat you about the face and head, first left then right in the way that I beat my animals and children.. I will certainly only beat you in places that will not show when you’re properly covered by your hijab.. I would make a good and just husband and master. You can drop me an e-mail on my MySpace page if you’re interested. Or through Match.com.. Which is based upon Arab match making science..

  57. ALLAH, PEACE BE UPON HIM says:

    filthy infidels you mock that which you cannot understand that which you will never understand the streets shall flow with the blood of the non-believers you speak of pisstachio salads made for your pagan holidays and speak in a lustful manner towards filty jew women with no talent that have not made a good movie since clueless which was not a good movie either you speak of yams and fruit suspended in jello and wonder why we want to blow you up

  58. Swede says:

    “Isn’t that grandfather to what I’ve recently been told is a Watergate salad? With the pistachios and the whipped cream/green jello weirdness? It always shows up at Xmas, but I just as often try to avoid it.”

    Sounds like something some fancy-pants Presbyterian would make.

    They’re so full of themselves.

  59. Mitt Romney says:

    Lutherans invented fruit suspended in jello.

    Nonsense! They stole it from us. And it’s not complete without the CoolWhip.

  60. algore says:

    The car. I was instrumental in the creation of the automobile. Errrrr, my dad was. Or our oil company stocks were. Something like that. And Kyoto, all my doing, except that we never got around to signing it. And Bosnia, all me. And Beckham, I brought him across the pond.

  61. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    Damascus steel? From India. The lateen sail? From India. Islamic medical advances? Made by Islamicized Jews.

  62. JD says:

    Islamicized Jews. Did you hear that Professor Saliba? Islamicized Jews. That has to sting just a little bit, no?

  63. Stephen says:

    Great to know this clown is a respected member of the Middle Eastern Studies dept at the Madrassa on Morningside Heights.

  64. Slartibartfast says:

    And rockets and movable type.

    And linguine. But the biggest triumph? True Communism.

    Arabs, of course, write from right to left, so they write the least significant digit first. In this way the “little Endian” vs. “big Endian” controversy was originated.

    Locke, you magnificent bastard! I am in awe of that story. And, believe it or not, I’m byte-swapping as I speak.

    Lutherans invented fruit suspended in jello.

    And hotdish. And Divinity, most likely. Lastly, the color orange. Didn’t exist before Lutherans; Google it!

    Seriously, this whole battle over IP could be much funnier if context-shifted to American Politics. Democrats invented peace, freedom, and peanut butter; Republicans invented wiretapping, lying and waterboarding. Go with it.

  65. eLarson says:

    Then, Gov. Romney, you must have the entire Jell-O Code committed to memory.

    I will spot you Mandarin Oranges in Orange Jell-O.
    What goes in green? red?

  66. Mikey NTH says:

    We Epsicopalians invented meetings, pre-meetings, committee reports, sub-committees, and blue-ribbon task forces.

    And we aren’t afraid to use them – so don’t mess with us, pal.

  67. Dan Collins says:

    Incidentally, this was due to Zoroastrans, not Muslims.

    The followers of Zoro, who drove the Spanish out of Mexico.

  68. Brett says:

    The Soviets made similar ridiculous claims on their way to the dustbin of history. May Allah follow.

  69. Hubris says:

    Saliba acknowledges the decline of science in the Islamic world; he questions conventional views regarding the timing and causation for that decline. This newspaper story was, as Dan indicated, an account rather than a transcript–and likely a badly formulated one, given the awkward and childish phrasing.

  70. BJTexs says:

    Comment by Mikey NTH on 11/8 @ 6:04 am

    We Epsicopalians invented meetings, pre-meetings, committee reports, sub-committees, and blue-ribbon task forces.

    And we aren’t afraid to use them – so don’t mess with us, pal.

    Bah! Amateurs! Presbyterians will declare a committee fatwa upon you and bury you in preliminary reports, accepted but not received, and then table the whole kit and kaboodle until a Peacemaking and Unity Committee@copy; can be formed to determine the proper compromises and group sighing.

    That’s right BOTH KIT AND KABOODLE!!! FEAR US!!!

  71. Slartibartfast says:

    We in the Military Industrial Complex invented making up brand-new words where existing words might do. We’ve failed, though, to the extent that words like definitize still haven’t quite made it into the dictionary.

  72. Dusty says:

    Well, at least we discovered using short paragraphs so it’s easier to read before they did.

  73. Mikey NTH says:

    BJ – Shouldn’t that be ‘kilt and kaboodle’ you sheep-sniffing haggis-humper?

    And compromise? Amateurs! We have local conferences, national conferences, anglican Communion conferences wehre we adopt statements then return and dispute the wording of the statement so that we can appoint a committee to discern the new thing the Holy Spirit is doing and then deploy facilitators to each and every diocese to inform the vestrys what the new Word is so the the vestrys can return to their parishes and hold a meeting (immediately after coffee hour) at which they are bombarded by questions they have to send back up to the diocese back to national to have a facilitator arrive at the parish after two months have gone by to hold a Sunday afternoon meeting wherein the word from on high will be respoken only in more general terms so that everyone understands that the new direction is what they want it to be while National continues to go off and Groove some new thing the Holy Spirit is doing which calls for another conference at Lambeth to set the process off again.

    Processes – we got a lot of them.

  74. BJTexs says:

    Mikey: It is kit you pasty faced bishop spooning Anglican wannabe!

    I once sat through a twenty minute presentation from the Peace and Justice Committee of the Donegal Presbytery about Peacemaking and … wait for it … GLOBAL WARMING! After many untold hours of meetings, papers, and sighing (oh, the sighing) it was determined that a woman would talk for 15 minutes about Al Gore’s movie and how important it was to the penguins and polar bears that we show it as a community outreach. Of course, she was fighting the tears all the way. Five minutes in I handed my wallet to my pastor and asked him to jam it between my teeth if I should have a Grand Mal seizure. (true story)

    Bah! (?haggis humping?) (heh)

  75. JD says:

    sheep sniffing haggis-humper

    Quote of the Day, Mikey.

    BJ – You are no longer the spawn of the capitalist pig that exploits the brown people. Thanks to Mikey, your new name shall be King of the sheep sniffing haggis-humpers, from not until the end of time, or until I think of something better, whichever comes first.

  76. Mikey NTH says:

    Just a parish presentation, BJ? Oh, you sheltered child!

    You have not truly died and gone to hell until you have, as Senior Warden, attended a two day ‘Household of Jesus Christ’ seminar wherein you learn that your brother is a very bad person because he is in the army and that, contrary to all of your experiences in elementary school and junior high, all bullies are capable of being reasoned with if you just try.

    And I neither had to have a wallet shoved in my mouth nor did I clock the presenter while telling him to “Start negotiating, buttercup! Start negotiating!” so my capacity for ignorage is vast!

    The diocesan convention was also a barrel of laughs although the food was lousy (vegetarian sandwiches? Come over here weed-boy and let me ‘splain something to you…).

  77. BJTexs says:

    LOL, Mikey, I geeve, I geeve! Vegetarian sandwiches? People have been killed for less! At least they served lasagna at my all day affair!

    JD: Portuguese don’t do sheep or haggis. Come up with something else you Homicidal Dwarf Clown Dhimmi!

  78. JD says:

    BJ – The Grand Exalted Ruler of the Sheep-sniffing Haggis-humpers has a nice ring to it.

    Mikey – We attend an Episcopalian church as well. They play the bongos and tambourines during our service. I swear I think I smelled patchouli last week.

    I was asked to be a Jr. Warden. I told them that was not likely in the best interests of the Church, nor my sanity.

  79. BJTexs says:

    JD: Hm … how about First Groveler of the Dwarf Clown Dhimmis?

    You could go by “Grov.” And good call on the Jr. Warden decision. I don’t sense that peacemaking is one of your spiritual gifts.

    “I swear I think I smelled patchouli last week.” heh and crap! There goes another keyboard.

  80. JD says:

    It is not that I cannot be a peace-maker. It has more to do with my complete and utter inability to restrain myself from comment when somebody says something truly stupid. There is a large group of New Agey type of people in our congregation that are quite active. Some of the stuff that comes out of their mouths almost leaves me speechless.

  81. Mikey NTH says:

    I hear you, JD. When a member came up to me and said “I think ‘Jesus loves me this I know, ’cause the Bible tells me so’ is one of the most profound statements ever.” I was left floored. “There,” I thought, “goes two thousand years of theology into the garbage over a nursey song.”

  82. Cowboy says:

    Jews invented guilt, but we Catholics perfected it!

  83. Kunster says:

    All of these inventions makes me phrase Allah every day for the great Muslim scientists, I could make a list of thousands but I just listed a few.
    1. The combustion engine and the automobile, I remember my first car from the Mohammed Motor Company, it had a 300 camel powered engine and it ran off the blood and sweat of the infidels, and the really cool factory installed device, the car could sensor infidels and when the sensors indicate 30 or more infidels in one area, the car will self-destruct in a massive explosion.
    2. I really loved the space movie with Tom Hanks, “Allah 13”
    3. Unknown history, did you know sputnik had a copy of the Koran in it
    4. The “swords of Allah bread slicing machine”, the original great invention
    5. The toaster
    6. Combining number 4 and 5, we’ll get a great snack invention, the “BLT”, love that bacon!
    7. Infomercials and all those great Muslims inventions on at late night TV
    8. Viagra, because you’ll need to get ready for those 72 virgins
    9. Scientology, isn’t that an invented religion (cult) too
    10. Carbonated water, in which they invented the soft drink, in which they invented Rum to make a rum and coke
    11. The Dewey decimal System
    12. The Zamboni machine, invented by Frank Mohammed akem zeir Zamboni

  84. Andrew says:

    Amen, Cowboy. And Ten Hail Mary’s, Ten Our Fathers.

    It seems to me that Protestant food is God’s just punishment for heresy.

    You know, since we can’t light them on fire any more.

    Damn Muslims get to have all the fun.

  85. MarkD says:

    I see he’s not claiming the world’s greatest invention – beer.

  86. Lord Blackadder says:

    It’s a little chilly in here; Baldrick, throw another Catholic on the pyre.

  87. BJTexs says:

    It seems to me that Protestant food is God’s just punishment for heresy.

    But not on Fridays, Andrew. Most certainly not on Fridays.

    MMMmmmmmmm … friday salami sandwich….

  88. McGehee says:

    Vegetarian sandwiches?

    Hey, I make the best vegetarian sandwiches you’ll ever taste.

    But that’s because I wash and skin the vegetarians before I cook ’em. Keeps the patchouli from ruining the meat.

  89. dr kill says:

    Re: #67- Dear moron,

    Please allow me to enlighten you and the rest of the great Protein Wisdomed unwashed concerning the written Arabic language and written Arabic numbers. Written Arabic is read and written right to left. The integers, that is to say the numerals, as opposed to the numbers in written form- (i.e. 4 – four), are written and read in the normal Western manner, left to right.

    You’re welcome. Please carry on

  90. Matt, Esq. says:

    Just FYI, I’d convert to judaism for Brooke Burke. In a heartbeat.

  91. Slartibartfast says:

    Re: #67- Dear moron,

    Please allow me to enlighten you and the rest of the great Protein Wisdomed unwashed concerning the written Arabic language and written Arabic numbers. Written Arabic is read and written right to left. The integers, that is to say the numerals, as opposed to the numbers in written form- (i.e. 4 – four), are written and read in the normal Western manner, left to right.

    You’re welcome. Please carry on

    Dear genius: what you’re actually responding to is the post I responded to, which is #30. Matters not to me that it ain’t actually so, only that Locke hooked it into Big Endian/Little Endian, which has been teh sucky part of my job for the last…oh, decade and a half, roughly.

  92. B Moe says:

    I wish I was smart enough to not get any of these jokes, so I could be all arrogant about it.

  93. Ric Locke says:

    #92, 94, 95: Have you ever watched an Arab writing numbers? They do so from right to left, exactly the way they write words, so the least significant digit comes first.

    It isn’t the optimal way to write decimal fractions, to be sure…

    Our own ancestors actually had it right — four and twenty blackbirds, that sort of thing. But they didn’t normally work with numbers bigger than a hundred, so the system didn’t get standardized until “Arabic” numbers came in via the Crusaders, who got it backward.

    Regards,
    Ric

  94. B Moe says:

    “They do so from right to left, exactly the way they write words, so the least significant digit comes first.”

    So you are saying they are trying to write it backwards, but they are too stupid to even do that right?

  95. Why is the West the Best? I’ll tell everyone why.

    Everyone reading this, please, get up from your chair, stand on your feet and give a warm round of applause to welcome our dear Mara.

    There will be more Mara’s in the world five hundred years from today, in comparison to the psychologically unhealthy mentalities little girls would possess were Islam to take over.

    The West is the Best!

  96. hussein says:

    listen fuck faces if u bitch have a problim with arabs witch crated math witch waz used to make a car for every bitch in this world and nascar and the football sadium witch we would have to play in a feild in the open but ges wat if u dident have math u wouldent evan have a ball u would still be playing with fucking rocks. and we also made astromeny witch we r gana need in the futer to live there becouse of u fuckes pulluting this world so if u have a problim with arabs tlak to me bitch

  97. Nice collection of good pictures can you help me to teach how can we make a such nice pictures.
    Please guide me.
    Thanks

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