James at 15 (or, The Lance Kerwin Experience) My bologna has a first name, and it’s “Keith.” Nothing beats a hot-buttered biscuit — except maybe two hot-buttered biscuits! Brazenly flouting established due process rules since 1977 I find the duck to be the funniest of all God’s creatures. You? Dude, are those gummie worms? Sweeeeet! What the fuck is a “corn nut”? Piper Perabo Yam **** related in no way.
May 17, 2004
Words that just sound funny, #128: “abutment”
eg. “Is that your abutment?” “Yes, that abutment belongs to me.”
May 17, 2004
Words that just sound funny, #128: “abutment”
eg. “Is that your abutment?” “Yes, that abutment belongs to me.”
May 17, 2004
Finger probing the Miserabilist
Lileks thinks I should wait on the Hunter S. Thompson glasses. He withholds comment, however, on my repeated use of the phrase “that’s really freaky, man.” And before you ask, yes, of course he’s talking about me.
May 17, 2004
Milestones
Just watched my son roll over on his own for the very first time. Not surprisingly, he did so in pursuit of a stuffed monkey. Because who doesn’t like a stuffed monkey. Anyway, bravo, S*tch. You’ll be throwing a wicked slider and banging cheerleaders 4 at a pop in no time. Just like your old man used to. And yes, I think I’m going to cry now. update: Okay, now
May 17, 2004
A Poem from 1968, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brautigan, 2004 (third in a series)
I Live in the Twentieth Twenty-First Century for Marcia not Marcia I live in the Twentieth Twenty-first Century and you lie here beside me. You were unhappy when you fell asleep. There was nothing I could do about it. I felt helpless. Your face is so beautiful that I cannot stop to describe it, and there’s nothing I can do to make you happy while you sleep [unless you let
May 17, 2004
Scenes from my driveway, continued x 6
Deadbeat neighbor: “Hey, why the long face. Everything okay?” Me: “Sarin gas.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Oh, sorry to hear it… Wanna shot of Pepto or something? Got a huge bottle of it in my kitchen. ‘s no trouble, really…” Me: “I’m going to stop coming outside, I think.”