Veggie burgers Anything containing lettuce or carrots Light beer Jews Woman who wear glasses / are overweight Negroes Mustard-based potato salads Tonic water Did I mention Jews?
May 29, 2004
Requisite political post for Saturday, May 29
Good lord, I just coughed up what looks like a slipper. And John Kerry is an ass. update: Still.
May 29, 2004
Current Mood: Teddy Kennedy rumpus room residually drunk
“Honey? Could you please stop blinking so loudly?” Current favorite Mental state / magazine / -libs: Mad
May 29, 2004
Current Mood: Teddy Kennedy rumpus room residually drunk
“Honey? Could you please stop blinking so loudly?” Current favorite Mental state / magazine / -libs: Mad
May 29, 2004
Brautigan, Revisited – an American love story
Chapter 13: Escher Prints Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10. Chapter 11. Chapter 12 For the remainder of the day, Liz and Robin got caught up while I checked out Robin’s apartment. It was quite nice, if you like apartments. Quite collegiate, down to the dog-eared Escher prints on her bedroom walls. Robin told Liz about
May 29, 2004
Scenes from my driveway, continued x 13
Deadbeat neighbor: “Man, you look like hell.” Me: “Thanks.” Deadbeat neighbor: “You should probably put on some pants, too.” Me: “Is that my newspaper?”
May 28, 2004
Multiculturalism
If you find yourself ordering food at an Indian restaurant, don’t make the same mistake I just did and ask for sati when what you really want is saag. Because if you do, the waiter and several busboys will hurry over to your table and set your wife on fire. Which, of course, is not the same thing as a dish of creamy spinach with paneer.
May 28, 2004
Scenes from my driveway, continued x 12
Deadbeat neighbor: “So I see where they arrested that evil cleric dude yesterday.” Me: “In England, yes.” Deadbeat neighbor: “He has, like, half an arm and half a face, right?” Me: “Uh huh. Evidently he was playing around with explosives when he should have been praying.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Only you can prevent forest fires, I guess.” Me: “Well, not just me, but I take your point. Which might even have
May 28, 2004
The Everlasting Gobstopper Poem
I had a dream that Willy Wonka touched me there. Bad Willy. Bad.