From Boston.com: When it comes to correcting papers and grading tests, purple is emerging as the new red. “If you see a whole paper of red, it looks pretty frightening,” said Sharon Carlson, a health and physical education teacher at John F. Kennedy Middle School in Northampton. “Purple stands out, but it doesn’t look as scary as red.” The considered reply of protein wisdom the educator: “Oh shut the fuck
August 23, 2004
Zee Allies, zay are so…boisterous
From the Weekly Standard’s “Scrapbook,” August 16: Shortly after Bulgarian truck driver Georgi Lazov’s headless body was fished out of the Tigris River on July 14, his country’s NATO ambassador in Brussels, Emil Valev, proposed that the organization issue a statement condemning this and other hostage-takings in Iraq. NATO Secretary General Jaap de Hoop Scheffer did end up releasing such a statement, on July 20, calling these incidents “abhorrent” and
August 23, 2004
Zee Allies, zay are so…boisterous
From the Weekly Standard’s “Scrapbook,” August 16: Shortly after Bulgarian truck driver Georgi Lazov’s headless body was fished out of the Tigris River on July 14, his country’s NATO ambassador in Brussels, Emil Valev, proposed that the organization issue a statement condemning this and other hostage-takings in Iraq. NATO Secretary General Jaap de Hoop Scheffer did end up releasing such a statement, on July 20, calling these incidents “abhorrent” and
August 23, 2004
Jessica Cutler offers her dinner guests a glass of 1995 Elderton Shiraz
Female Dinner Guest: “Why yes, thank you, we’d love some wine –” Male Dinner Guest: “– So long as you haven’t had the bottle in your ass, she means –” Female Dinner Guest 2: “– Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just, well…you understand…”
August 23, 2004
Kerry: “I was skipper of Navy boat No. 94 as the boat was being hit by rockets and a crewmate injured before I wasn’t skipper of that boat at that time under those circumstances.”
From the Boston Globe: The Kerry campaign removed a 20-page batch of documents yesterday from its website after The Boston Globe quoted a Navy officer who said the documents wrongly portrayed Kerry’s service. Edward Peck had said he—not Kerry—was the skipper of Navy boat No. 94 at a time when the Kerry campaign website credited the senator with serving on the boat. The website had described Kerry’s boat as being
August 23, 2004
Kerry: “I was skipper of Navy boat No. 94 as the boat was being hit by rockets and a crewmate injured before I wasn’t skipper of that boat at that time under those circumstances.”
From the Boston Globe: The Kerry campaign removed a 20-page batch of documents yesterday from its website after The Boston Globe quoted a Navy officer who said the documents wrongly portrayed Kerry’s service. Edward Peck had said he—not Kerry—was the skipper of Navy boat No. 94 at a time when the Kerry campaign website credited the senator with serving on the boat. The website had described Kerry’s boat as being
August 23, 2004
Dem dats don’t disclose
The missing 23+ percent? Italian haircare products and an assortment of imported deli meats, if I had to guess. Oh, and aspic. Fops love aspic.
August 23, 2004
Dem dats don’t disclose
The missing 23+ percent? Italian haircare products and an assortment of imported deli meats, if I had to guess. Oh, and aspic. Fops love aspic.
August 23, 2004
red pills found behind the sofa cushions, flashback
I think that dolphin in the pea coat stole my Elvis Costello CD. Along with a box of Rice Chex, a cast iron desk lamp, and the harmonica I got for Christmas a few years back. Which just goes to show you: never trust a legless mammal. No matter how good his weed is, and no matter how many fucking sea monkeys he promises to send you once he gets
August 21, 2004
Scenes from my driveway, continued x 33
Deadbeat neighbor: “BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY, EH?” Me: “Yeah, I guess.” Deadbeat neighbor: “YOU GUESS? JUST LOOK AT THAT SKY! LOOK AT THOSE MOUNTAINS!” Me: “Yes, nice, I know. But why are you talking in all caps?” Deadbeat neighbor: “AM I?” Me: “Yeah. And it’s annoying as hell.” Deadbeat neighbor: “Oh. Sorry about that.” Me: Deadbeat neighbor: Me: Deadbeat neighbor: “…So. Beautiful day today, eh…?”