Deadbeat neighbor: “You look tired.” Me: “I am. Just got back from the convention.” Deadbeat neighbor: “What, another comic book convention?” Me: “Depends. You ever hear about anybody getting drunk and using cherry licorice to lasso hookers at a comic book convention?” Deadbeat neighbor: “Not really.” Me: “Then no, it wasn’t another comic book convention.”
September 3, 2004
Michael Moore’s Midnight Ride (to Taco Bell, for a half dozen steak burritos and lots of those cinnamon twist thingies)
Gee, it’s eerie how similar this is to the Battle of Lexington and Concord, eh Mike? Go Minutemen! Fight the [starving, terrified children’s] power! **** (h/t Mark in Mexico, who aptly sums up: “Bad, bad, bad. Children, for God’s sake.”)
September 3, 2004
protein wisdom’s Republican National Convention coverage, 17
Some final convention notes: chewed potato chips do not an effective lubricant make, even in a pinch. And some lady protesters—no matter how many jumping jacks they claim they can do, or how many times they’ve “smoked grass with Patricia Arquette”—just need to be held. My plane leaves in less than an hour. I really should find my shoes.
September 3, 2004
Announcement for protein wisdom readers who share in my desire to see self-indulgent new media icons mowed down like so much unwelcome backyard vegetation:
From my email: Steve the Llama Butcher is at the annual meeting of the American Political Science Association (APSA) in Chicago. Today he will be live-blogging one of the panels entitled The Power and Politics of Blogs at around 4:15 CDT. On the panel sit none other than Andrew “I’m kinda-sorta thinking about voting for Bush if it wasn’t for that whole he’s a Nazi thing” Sullivan and Anna-Marie “**Wonkette
September 3, 2004
protein wisdom’s Republican National Convention coverage, 16
In his speech tonight, George Bush spoke of the great promise of America, of his vision for spreading liberty throughout the world as the precondition for a lasting global peace. Meanwhile, in a universe far far away, John Kerry will give his own speech in Ohio later tonight—one that points to Dick Cheney’s military deferments and George Bush’s Alabama National Guard record, one in which he complains (yet again) about
September 2, 2004
protein wisdom’s Republican National Convention coverage, 15
11:22 AM: For the second time in as many mornings I wake up on the floor of Ann Coulter’s hotel room, the phrase “Jooos for Bush” scrawled across my forehead in Clinique Berry Berry Long Last lipstick. Ann has already taken off for some Phyllis Schlafly presentation, but she leaves me the crumbled dregs of her Continental breakfast, which I pass up for a bite-size Milky Way bar and a
September 2, 2004
Like wet dreams to teenage cannibals
Well, you knew it was coming, but you never thought it’d be so incredibly moist. Oliver Willis, unhinged. Tune in and watch the Donk spittle fly! And remember: keep your hands and feet inside the protective cage at all times. Nevermind. Par for the course, this stuff. Only marginally related: For those of you who were busy tailing Frog 1 into the bowels of the New York subway system last
September 2, 2004
I got your ‘Hardball’ right here, Slick
A partial transcript of Chris Matthews’ interview with Zell Miller (following last night’s RNC address): Matthews: Do you believe truthfully that John Kerry wants to defeat the world with spitballs? Miller: That was a metaphor. You know what a metaphor is? Matthews: Well, what do you mean by that metaphor? Miller: He wanted to cancel these weapons programs. Cancel, means to do away with. I think we ought to cancel