Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Al Gore.
Again? Listen, for the last time, my dishes come out more sparkly when I use the detergent with phosphates. So piss off, would you?
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Heh,
Living in Buffalo back in the ’70s my mother used to drive across the border to Canada just to buy the ‘good’ detergent.
Francis: knock, knock
Utley: Ow!
Alfonseca: knock, knock
Helton: Ow!
Al Gore: “Fine.. I’m outta here.. but if you see Leonardo Dicaprio, tell him I want my hysterical Global Warming Talking Points back.”
Jeff, Algore pissed on your dishes.
As long as he doesn’t sit on them everything will be fine.
That’s OK. You can offset those clean dishes by only using one square to wipe your butt.
Sparkly dishes or fiery, raw ass…. you get to choose, it’s a democracy.
(Al probably has about a square’s worth of loose tissue prills stuck in his on any given day… hence the need at the Gore Manse for so many bidets)
1 square? I hope someone makes a yard-wide roll soon.
Right, just go with the paper towels. But not those brown ones. Ow.
NFL – Knock knock
Bellicheater – Who is there?
NFL – Time to pay the piper, whitey.
My three-year-old likes telling knock knock jokes, but he doesn’t really get the joke part. That makes it funny, though.
Nog nog!
Who’s there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange Orange
Gets me every time.
Comment by JD on 9/14 @ 5:44 pm
I question the timing.
Who: Knock knock…
Me: Who’s there?
Who: Yes
I miss the Captcha words.
I miss the Captcha words.
Sometimes I still see people refer to them, so it looks like there’s a whitelist of trustworthy types who don’t see them, and apparently we’re on it. In my case, that’s a mistake. And they made me think of a bunch of weird, unfunny, even-Dennis-Miller-is-all-WTF? jokes, which is the only use I’ve ever found for my edumaction.
Speaking of which (and on another PW nostalgia note) —
I heard my first Klonopin joke today. Not a joke, really, but a strangely poetic offhand observation about Klonopin made by a professional comedian while under the influence of Klonopin. And drunk. Onstage. And it goes a little something like this:
Klonopin is like a warm hug from your mother that doesn’t lead to sex.
Andy Andrist, ladies and gentlemen!
My children: Knock knock
Me: Come in.
My children Dad, that’s not how you do it!
I told my son a joke when he was three, to get him off the knock knock jokes. It goes like this:
“What did the fork say to the spoon?”
“I dunno, what?”
“Nothing, cause forks don’t talk!”
Instead of ridding our house of knock knock jokes, for the past two years we’ve been subjected daily to the following bastardization of that joke. xInanimateObject and yInanimateObject are whatever things he’s learned about recently that don’t make noise.
“Knock knock?”
“Who’s there?”
“Do you know what the xInanimateObject said to the yInanimateObject? Nothing, cause xInanimateObject can’t talk!” followed by insane five-year-old belly-cackling.
I F%&$ing HATE knock knock jokes now. And the joke that I told him. Which was the only clean joke I knew, other than “How do Germans tie their shoes? In little Nazis!” which I didn’t really want him repeating at school.
your fruit, it is low-hanging
Did you know…
An anagram of “Jeff Goldstein” is “Led off jesting”? How spooky is that?
http://www.anagramgenius.com/server.php?source_text=jeff+goldstein&emphasis=1&gender=0&vulgar=0&seen=true
– I’m thinking the best representation of low hanging fruit right now, is the Dems and the Left, who really really were begging for this week to be over.
ALice,
I am so stealing that German shoe tying joke…
I love the Captcha words being gone. They did not show up on my Treo so I could not comment. Good riddance.
Knock knock …
Who’s there?
Liberal SOB.
Damn there were a lot of those Leftists trolling around here today. Is there anything that they will not argue just to preserve The Narrative?
There are still words in the pub.
Q. How do you know Steve Jobs has been in your refrigerator?
A. It suddenly costs $200 more, shows movies, and only accepts food from one supermarket.
Damn there were a lot of those Leftists trolling around here today.
– Well in view of the most excellant week they all had, maybe they’re afraid to go home to the little fem.
Related to Jeff’s original joke:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Bjørn Lomborg
I hope you die in a fiery death that is painful as hell. For peace, and the good of the planet…you apostate. We sympathize with religion. Or at least some of them…
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Republican.
RACIST SEXIST HOMOPHOBE MISOGYNIST LOOKS-IST TERRORIST-IST ETHNICIST ISLAMAPHOBE WINGNUT FASCIST
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Al Gore.
I was wondering why we have record low temperatures today.
that’ll teach that Republican to knock on cindy sheehan’s door.
I always left a flaming bag of shit on the door step after I knocked.
What’s the difference between Al Gore and a bag of shit? The bag.
– JD – You forgot XENOPHOBE IMPERIALISTIC HEDGEMONIC GODBOTHERING THESPIAN….Although naybe Feets is the only resident Thespian…..
Knock-Knock.
Who’s there.
Notre Dame vs. Michigan.
Who gives a shit.
I don’t get it.
Oh. #29. Well, #30 too.
If you’re going to use words that hurt hold off though. I’m feeling fragile.
knock knock
who’s there?
feel
feel who
feel this!
Larry?
yeah, don’t mind me…. though I’ve never done a non-musical show, so maybe that doesn’t count. anyhoo, reports are I got the biggest laugh o’ the show tonight.
– Aw maggie. No way. You’re dah bestest. I was just giving Feets his weekend “word up” assignment.
….and happy. I’m not sure but I think Storch has passed, although now that you’ve mentioned him, I’ll forever picture Caric in Larry’s image. *smirkle*
heh, my desperate ploy for attention worked. ;D
good luck with the assignment happyfeet.
ok, I’m on thespian duty then. And good job, maggie.
Oh – that was supposed to be a Larry Craig joke, BB. I guess that’s kind of too last week. Things are moving very fast out there.
What’s green and invades Poland…………………….
Snotzies!!
Even though they don’t get the first part, since it has the word snot in it, it’s guaranteed to get a laugh out of a little kid. The word ‘poop’ is also good.
Number 3 son: knock knock
LMC: who’s there?
Number 3 son: Oswald?
LMC: Oswald who?
Number 3 son: Oswald my gum!
LMC: not Oswald the patsy for the fruit companies, the CIA, the Republicans, LBJ and the Mob?
Number 3 son: um…no?
LMC: BULLSHIT!
Oswald the other friend of Drew Carey.
You forgot JEZEBELS!
Ow. Too many decibels in those Jezebels.
Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Interrupting Cow
Interrupting Cow Wh……
MOOOOOO!!
(Ok..you kinda have to say this one out loud)
Knock Knock.
Who dere?
Alaska.
Alaska who?
Alaska you one more fookin’ time to shut dis thread down or else….
Alaska simple question and you’ll give a simple answer, ‘kay?
Phosphorus in detergents and fertilizers that gets into rivers and lakes through wastewater and runoff promotes algae blooms, which reduce the amount of oxygen available for other aquatic plants and fish…
huh?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on the beach?
Sandy
Home plate
or frisbee