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I just stopped in / to see what condition my condition was in (from the protein wisdom conceptual series, Labor Day weekend edition)

Looks good from where I’m sitting — on a friend’s patio, clutching some fruity libation brimming with tequila and orange slices, and shaded by its own garish paper umbrella.

— Which, I must say, is better than the party last Labor Day weekend, when I drank a bottle of Añejo without the frills and woke up in the clutches of some garish fruit who kept himself shaded with a pastel parasol and was intent on getting everyone to sing Ethel Merman songs.

Not that there’s anything wrong with — oh, who am I kidding. I was totally creeped the fuck out.

So sue me.

(or, OPEN THREAD!)

37 Replies to “I just stopped in / to see what condition my condition was in (from the protein wisdom conceptual series, Labor Day weekend edition)”

  1. Jeff G. says:

    “SELF-REFERENCIALLY-PSEUDO META-NARRATIVIZING-DOUBLE-BLIND-HOMOPHOBE-APHOBE-APHOBE!” – Ric Caric

  2. The Thin Man says:

    Listen, anything you got to say about your mother in-law, you don’t have to explain to me. You know what I mean? Like if she were the star of a real crummy horror movie, I’d believe it.

  3. happyfeet says:

    Where was John Warner last year on Labor Day? Anyone know?

  4. Big Bang (Pumping you up) says:

    – BREAKING –

    – Bush flys to Anbar province in Iraq to address troops todayy – Surrender monkies in seclusion, contemplating suicide….

  5. Big Bang (Pumping you up) says:

    – Continueing –

    – NYT rushes front page pictures of dead brown babies (any babies will do, even Eskimo’s) into print. Editors at the grey lady in all out panic……More to come…..

  6. Big Bang (Pumping you up) says:

    – More –

    – Bush hammers Democrats in Anbar speech to troops….. “{you] are doing more to insure the safety of Americans in our streets than anyone in this war on terror…..[and] when we do draw down our force, it will be from a position of strength and success, not fear and defeatism…..”…

    – Hillery issues statement….”[this] grandstanding doublecross by the VWRC has Roves fingerprints all over it….the American people will not be fooled….damn Bush…..damn him all to hell….”

    – Kos and Hampsher run photoshopped pics of Al Maliki in blackface…

    – John Edwards adds another 5000 square feet to his mansion, and declares today as national “be kind to the little people day”…..

    ….more to follow…..

  7. Aldo says:

    Has anyone else been following this Narman Hsu story?

  8. Darleen says:

    High noon here (so cal) and it’s 103 outside. Yesterday topped out at 109 AND the the house rattled with a 4.7 earthquake centered about 11 miles away (being that close it felt more like a truck had hit the house instead of the rolling land surf that others further out experienced)

    Today’s agenda is stay inside with airconditioning and chilled beverages and basically doing not much.

  9. Darleen says:

    Surrender monkies in seclusion, contemplating suicide….

    Geez…the only question I have is what can we do to push ’em beyond contemplation?

  10. happyfeet says:

    It was 113 near here in Burbank yesterday. Minute Maid Light is my friend.

  11. Big Bang (Pumping you up) says:

    – Feets….you live in beautiful downtown Burbank…..who knew….Heh….

    – On the Hsu front, I really hope this doesn’t rip the wheels totally off the Dems campaign wagons…..I’m really looking forward to Rudi slamming Hillery’s balls in the dirt in 2008….Be nice to have a clean landslide for a change to aneastitize the rabid moonbats (apparently 3.6 million isn’t enough of a victory to quell their srdor)…..

  12. happyfeet says:

    No – in Studio City, but I just heard about the temperature in Burbank. We lost our Internet yesterday. Because of the heat. That’s so third world. Never happened in Texas. Someone should tell these people they have more in common with Baghdad than they do with Houston.

  13. Happy Banks And Post Office Holiday #6, everyone! My sympathies to all members of the labor force, who of course have to work this weekend.

  14. B Moe says:

    “Has anyone else been following this Norman Hsu story?”

    What? A Clinton getting illegal campaign funds from shady Chinese characters? What is new about that?

  15. Major John says:

    I’d best get used to the heat. If I am going to be south of Baghdad, it ain’t gonna get any better…

  16. Major John says:

    And, thanks to General Order Number 1, no libations – tequila, fruity or not.

  17. Sticky B says:

    It’ll taste just that much better when you return to the world.

  18. Big Bang (Pumping you up) says:

    – Common Major…..you just have to hook up with a supply officer named Radar, and let the good suds flow…..

  19. Major John says:

    Actually, last time I deployed I didn’t really miss the beverages. When you are on site you really don’t want diminished abilities to react.
    However, on the way home, I remember a layover at Shannon Airport … the pint of Guinness I had there was the single best drink I have ever consumed.

  20. SarahW says:

    Jeff- Karl Lagerfeld come to your barbeques?

    Major John – Tipping a refreshing glass of peppermint water in your honor. No alcohol ’til you get some.

  21. Major John says:

    Sarah,

    Try Crystal Light. We mixed a bunch up in cold water bottles – I will NEVER forget the look on the Afgan militiamen’s faces when they tired it. We ended up leaving the whole lot with ’em.

    Please feel free to consume – I haven’t shipped out yet, and I’d rather know people at home are enjoying themselves than not.

  22. dicentra says:

    Does anyone know how many drops of blood one must give to the Water Feature Gods before they permit your water feature to work, leak free? I already kneaded a few drops in the waterproof putty stuff, but I fear they may want more.

  23. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Dicentra: try sacrificing a hippie.

  24. Drumwaster says:

    house rattled with a 4.7 earthquake centered about 11 miles away

    I was about 20 miles from that one, on the other side of the 215, and it just sounded like a sonic boom and the earth jerked just enough to be felt.

  25. baldilocks says:

    Darleen,

    I thought I felt a little shake yesterday. (You know how it is. Sometimes it’s a big truck going by, sometimes it’s the heat making you imagine things, then sometimes it’s a baby quake).

    This is, of course, quake weather.

  26. happyfeet says:

    We felt the quake here in Studio City. I moved my toes so they weren’t between the computer desk and the wall, but no standing in doorways or anything.

  27. dicentra says:

    Dicentra: try sacrificing a hippie.

    I’m in Utah. Them’s as scarce as chicken’s teeth, though I understand that touching the hem of Rocky Anderson‘s robe will do in a pinch.

  28. lee says:

    If it makes all you sweaty people feel any better, I spent Saturday at Avila Beach where it was a scorching 74. Later, after it got chilly, enjoyed about three hours in the balcony hot tub (fed by thermal mineral springs) drinking martinis.

    OK, that wasn’t the “make you feel better part”. That was to make ME feel better.
    *smug smile*

    This is the part I was talking about: yesterday was much hotter. While strolling through ankle deep Pacific Ocean, hand in hand with a beautiful lady, winding my way through everyone else from central California and Oaxaca, I had to endure 80 degrees, right on the waters edge!

    That Gore feller might be onto something. Hot in the summer…who’d a thunk?

    Unfortunately, tomorrow I return to the job site, where its 100+ all summer long, and by summer I mean June-October. If I’m real lucky, we will do some paving this week, because nothing says masculine like not complaining while handling 250 degree black asphalt when it’s 104 in the shade, not that there’s any shade over roads being paved.

  29. happyfeet says:

    this is a picture

  30. this is a picture

    …of a bunch of mindless killbots swarming their fearless leader. well, maybe not so fearless since he had to go sneaking into the country, the coward.

    ha, fixed that for ya. or charles, whoever.

  31. happyfeet says:

    :(

  32. lee says:

    I think Bush is pretty safe.

    Surely Al-Quada is aware that Cheney is next in line…

  33. ThomasD says:

    try sacrificing a hippie.

    Metaphysical impossibility.

    Slaughter? Sure, that’s a can do.

    Sacrifice? Hardly.

  34. klrtz1 says:

    this is a picture

    The exact same thing happened when Jon Cary visited Viet Nam.

  35. mojo says:

    Hey, I just tore my mind on a jagged sky!

    Ya really oughta get that thing fixed, or at least put up a sign…

Comments are closed.