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Hi, Geraldo [Dan Collins]

We haven’t mentioned this here at PW, but the ever-charming and classy Geraldo Rivera has stated that he’ll spit on Michelle Malkin if ever he runs into her. Personally, I think Malkin would probably kick his ass.

Here’s your chance to let Mr. Rivera know what you’ll do to him, should you ever run into him. Because of the machismo.

36 Replies to “Hi, Geraldo [Dan Collins]”

  1. Jeffersonian says:

    No matter how urgently he taps his foot, I won’t answer.

  2. I will not go to any of his parties. See if he can survive my cold shoulder!

  3. Great Mencken's Ghost says:

    Imagine how he’ll look with a Cantinflas mustache…

  4. M. Murcek says:

    Methinks geraldo is one of those “wears his machismo on his sleeve” types who will yet get his toilet stall comeuppance…

  5. daleyrocks says:

    On Geraldo’s next trip to Iraq to visit the troops, make him fly coach and sit next to Tom Tancredo. If that’s not cruel enough, make him sit next to Ward Churchill.

  6. ccoffer says:

    If he did it while I was around, he would get the shit stomped out of him. In the mean time, I’ll boycott his dumbass “Who killed Diana” show on Fox News.

  7. Sticky B says:

    I’d ask him what he’s doing hanging out across the street from Home Depot.

  8. Cythen says:

    Lower him slowly into a vat of Nair, cackling maniacally. (Seriously, he said he’d spit on her? What the hell are the left putting in the kool-aid these days?)

  9. Dan Collins says:

    Hey, Murph. Long time no see. How’s things?

  10. Percy Dovetonsils says:

    I’d just ask him what number wife he’s on now.

    And if her age, multiplied by three, is lower than his own.

  11. McGehee says:

    Here’s your chance to let Mr. Rivera know what you’ll do to him, should you ever run into him.

    I’d stop, get out of the truck, look under it, and tell my wife, “Looks like we’ve got a Prius wrapped around the drive shaft.”

    Then I’d get back in and drive home.

  12. Randy Rager says:

    At first I considered kicking him square in the galoolies, but he probably doesn’t have any.

    Most journalists don’t.

  13. B Moe says:

    I would just point and laugh.

  14. Cincinnatus says:

    I’d lock him in Al Capone’s safe.

  15. Matt, Esq. says:

    I’m going to assume this is BS. Michelle, being asian, would kick his ass. I hesitate to speculate on Geraldo’s heritage (and I won’t spend even a minute typing in “geraldo” on wikipedia) in fear of his army of lawyers so I’ll only say that I hate Geraldo, no matter what his heritage.

  16. Matt, Esq. says:

    I would point in the same direction as Bmoe in order to fit in, however.

  17. cynn says:

    Because she’s strident, sniffy, and dismissive. She’s the yappydog that doesn’t fit in my purse.

  18. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    1) Pretend to believe that he’s Joel Siegel and deliver an extended rant about his non-review of Clerks II, “the Citizen Kane of our time”.

    2) GMG: Cantinflas is good, but I was imagining how fabulous he’d look with a John Waters ‘stache.

  19. daleyrocks says:

    I wouldn’t worry about Michelle. She’s got all the lefties cowering in fear of her Filipino snapper of doom and those spiked ninja ping pong balls of justice she can fire out of there at twice the speed of sound.

    They’ll go right into a person’s brain bucket. It’s not pretty. I’ve seen it happen.

  20. cynn says:

    It goes without saying that Asians can kick the butt of the known umiverse. Duh.

  21. happyfeet says:

    I’m kind of with cynn at #19. I don’t dislike Malkin, but she has pretty much staked out a corner of the same sandbox where Geraldo likes to keep his Tonka trucks.

  22. […] little memento is offered in response to Dan Collins’ Post over in the Big House! Posted by Serr8d @ 2:22 am | Trackback Share […]

  23. serr8d says:

    Let’s hope Michelle enjoys her new Desk Accessory (and that she never uses it, at least not in public!)

  24. Ric Locke says:

    Geraldo? [continue to] Ignore him. Couldn’t happen to a nicer more deserving guy.

    Regards,
    Ric

  25. no one you know (female version) says:

    Would walk up to him: “Hi, aren’t you the fellow who said he’d spit on Michelle Malkin? I’m sorry, just can’t place your name, but anyone who’d spit on someone else is a slimeball not worth remembering in any case. Good DAY, sir!”

  26. Pablo says:

    Michelle does get quite a head of steam going, but I’ll give her one thing Geraldo ain’t gettin’. She does her homework so she’s generally got her facts straight.

    Hey Jerry, did you know John Gotti had a secret vault and no one knows where it is? Well, except me. Call me!

  27. cynn says:

    reserve your expectorant for those who are coherent.

  28. Sean M. says:

    I would heap scorn and ridicule on his buttface.

  29. psychologizer says:

    Because I don’t watch Fox News, I’ve assumed Geraldo was dead for years. They were good years.

    (Nice channel you guys got there, by the way. Geraldo. Sweet. And the only time I ever flipped to it, to see if Gutfeld’s show sucked or not, the psycho bitch who inspired Swimfan was co-host (or whatever; her left thigh and creepy stupidity were prominently featured). Won’t make that mistake again. Not being embarrassing fucking morons all the time would improve the public image of conservatives a little, I think. But we’ll never know.)

  30. happyfeet says:

    And also the curmudgeonliness.

  31. SDN says:

    As one of the commenters on CY(?) put it, “The line to beat his *ss would be long and distinguished!”

  32. Chris says:

    Geraldo is so…………irrelevant. (Amusingly, I think he knows this, too)

    Any a**-kicking, although well deserved, would be a waste of time and energy.

  33. RDub says:

    psychologizer: Rachel Marsden (think that’s the spelling) hasn’t been on Gutfeld’s show in well over a month. I don’t know if her regular gig got axed or what, but the show is the better for it. It’s a bit uneven at times, but Andrew Levy and Bill Schultz are both highly entertaining and they do get some decent guests.

  34. c.j.g. of eroticalee says:

    Rachel Marsden is writing for some rag in Toronto.Pretty boring stuff,maybe if she got naked it might help but I doubt it.She has a bit of a history out here in B.C. As to Geraldo it would be a my boot to his ass sort of thing.

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