If a restaurant won’t let me substitute a side of fries or a baked potato or even some cole slaw for a dainty little dish of fruit salad, I just get up and walk the hell right out.
No offense to fruit salads, understand. But that’s just the way I roll.
True story…
I’d like a cheeseburger without the cheese please.
You mean you want a hamburger.
NO. Give me a cheeseburger and just take off the cheese. I hate cheese.
“I just get up and walk the hell right out.”
Good choice.
It’s the manly thing to do.
BECAUSE OF THE LACTOSE INTOLERANCE!
Okay, I’ll make it as easy for you as I can. I’d like an omelet plain and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce, no chicken salad, no wheat toast.. all on fries or a baked potatoe or even some cole slaw for Crissakes… And a cup of coffee.
You are tossing who’s salad?
Yeah.. Hold the Fruitcup.. Hold it between your knees!
Hey, Fruitcup. How about let’s try out that wide stance?
Steak fries, right? Not some weenie, Julienne fries or, God forbid, curly fries…
… or worse, pommes frites
Just so I’m clear here…..what’s your stance on sherbet? Particularly pineapple sherbet.
Cause I’m guessing that we’re talking about compromised values in that case.
That’s absurd. Goldstein’s the kind of guy who would demand a pumpkin latte instead of ordinary coffee.
Nuh uh. He drinks the beans.
Straigth from the roaster. At
5002000 degrees. Some of those beans pooed out by Gorillas.I swear that “th” was just a slip of the fingers. I was reaching down to pick up a post-it.
Fruit salad? There are places that still serve fruit salad?
Major John,
There’s a little mom & pop close to where I work where that makes fries that are probably cosidered julienne (cut @ 1/4 inch). They are homemade and are the greasiest best tasting fries I’ve ever had, the only resaon to eat there, the rest of the food is mediocore at best. The fries are extra crisp on the outside yet still soft on the inside, and the little *crumbs* are extra crispy, heaven. Similar to the fries you get at the fair or a carnival in the little cup. My point? Julienne is not always a bad thing.
Excuse me, I think I’m going for an early dinner…
“Comment by Sticky B on 8/31 @ 12:03 pm #
Just so I’m clear here…..what’s your stance on sherbet?”
Orange sherbet with chocolate ice cream.
Rules for fruit salad – no grapes, or you are cheating.
What if it’s not truly ‘Fruit Salad’ but rather “Big N’ Chunky Fruit Cocktail in Extra Heavy Syrup” ?
A masculine treat if there ever was one…
There was a famous murder here in Richmond – the violence erupted when two hobo’s clashed over who would get the cherry from the Van de Camps fruit cocktail.
So if our social welfare program had not failed these hobos by providing them with only regular Van de Camps fruit cocktail instead of the more expensive (but worth it) ‘double the cherries’ variant… a life could have been saved.
A sad statement on our society…
WEENIEMANAPHOBE!
you won’t have this little dish of poncey geriatric fruit salad to kick around anymore
Jeff, you must overcome your fear of a fruit salad planet…
Oh yeah? I won’t even let the kid watch the Wiggles.
That’s how much I hate fruit salad.
I did order a smoothie in the airport once, but I had to leave before I got it.
Oh yeah? But I bet you let them watch the hell outta Veggie Tales, don’t you?!
Fruitophobe !
Men don’t drink ‘lattes’. Men drink coffee.
I like my coffee how I like my women–in a burlap sack, slung over a burro.
Sean M, I thought that was Dan.
How could you mistake a burro for Dan?
Does “burrito” mean little burro? Just curious.
The word burrito literally means “little donkey” in Spanish.
That was easy.
ccs – hmmm. What you describe sounds an awful lot like the fries from Steak n’ Shake. You are hearby granted full pardon and future dispensation. Go forth and scarf down those fries!
If you like sherbert, your stance has to be wide.
I like your blog, and I agree with your politics, so this isn’t a troll, but…
You should eat the fruit, fatass.
I bought some fruit a couple weeks ago. It looks different now.