Back in the day, I bagged lots of chicks in public bathrooms. Discuss.
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How’d you get in there?
Were you like, a crossdresser?
“We at least ought to hear his side of the story,” said Sen. Christopher Dodd of Connecticut.*
Is this Borat style bagging?
Are you ready to take us on a tour of the River, Dan?
SGT Ted–
No, but the bathrooms swung both ways.
HOMOPHOBE!
What’s the strangest place you ever “MADE WHOOPIE”?
(Question for Ted Danson)
Didn’t all the chicks you were with wear bags?
Burlap or canvas?
They were all cute, in a last call kind of way.
I bagged lots of chicks
Featuring:
six outside pockets
inside Zip pocket & cell phone pocket
inside key hook
strap drop length 9″
lined
zip closure
100% authentic, new with tags, registration card included: “it put the Lotion on it’s skin”
Was it your wide stance that got the job done? I hear chicks dig that kind of thing.
No.
How did the chicks get loose in a public bathroom to begin with? And did you put them back into the same bag?
Did it once. Peter Murphy show circa 199…5-ish, maybe?
The difference between our heights (remember: wide stance) and my difficulty reaching an olfactory Zen state in which uncountable gallons of mud-stomped girly-drink urine become parfum de hittin’-it made it take longer than bathroom sex is supposed to.
It would have been easier with a dude, and at a Peter Murphy show, they mostly look pretty good, so next time, I’m doing it Senate-style.
And by “a lot,” I mean “two.”
You know, this shit is getting out of hand.. This morning I’m riding the Metro bus into work… Got my left leg stretched out into the aisle (tendonitis in my knee) … right foot tapping (too much psychomotor energy combined with 2 cups of coffee and The Shins on my iPod) .. leaning back, cap pulled down low over my eyes, semi-snoozing, when I feel bus stop.. Next thing I know this police detective has me in a chokehold and throws me off the bus, facedown on the sidewalk and cuffs me…
So now I’m sitting here waiting to be arraigned.. They’re charging me with intent to engage in public lewdity.. Apparently I was unknowingly tapping out the secret ghey morse code that translated as “Me: spoiled bottom You: Tireless Top. Let me choke down your big bear beef bologney” or some such…
Fortunately this is Seattle. My PD thinks we have a good case for a civil rights violation.. He says I was denied my fundamental human right to have sex in public and had this been Gay Pride Parade week the Gestapo wouldn’t have dared to touch me…
::sigh::
Bagging chicks. Heh.
Apartment-building laundry room.
Fire escape
So the hypermasculinity raises its head at PW once again, (so to speak).
Lighthouse overlooking the Golden Gate bridge
Discuss what? Your total lack of class?
Sure, mojo.
from the back of the room came an incredulous voice: “Chickens?”
Let me point out that I’m not offering this as a Bag-Dad Diary, as well. I thought it might lead to a more interesting discussion. But yeah, it’s your right to get judgy on me if you want.
But assuming for the sake of argument that it might have a kernel of truth to it, such a thing might have occurred, once or twice, after hours in at the Baker Library in the little lav off the stacks on the 6th floor.
Dan, do you therefore feel that it would be hypocritical of you to judge Larry Craig for having broken the same law?
I do not see anyone around here judging Sen. Craig. I have seen his judgement questioned. But, since Dan is not a sitting US Senator, as far as I know, I am not sure that they are comparable.
I had some really spicy Mexican food at lunch, after a large late night Taco Bell run, and had some serious gastric issues today. I was forced to utilize a public restroom (add that to my list of phobias) and took an especially wide stance while levitating over the seat, and having a world class shit storm.
Ards, not so much, since it was a one-seater with a lock.
And final exams make me horny.
I stared at my foot the whole time, praying that nobody would use the stall next to me.
JD, I shudder to think what would have happened if, at that moment, you were propositioned by a dwarf clown.
Armaggedon!
“Ards, not so much, since it was a one-seater with a lock.
And final exams make me horny.”
You were fully justified then.
Without going into details, I’ll just say: Public area, yes. Bathroom, no. It was a very long time ago, and due to circumstances I had been without for almost five whole days. If I had it to do over again, though… I’d do it twice.
Craig should step down because he’s turned ” a sitting US Senator” into the butt of a joke.
PS: $5 says no one here has EVER accidently rubbed their hand along the underside of the divider between stalls in a public mens room. I can’t imagine doing it on purpose even if Jessica Simpson was on the other side.
Then there is the cop….. how many misfires are you going to put up with before you just arrest someone, anyone, just to get the heck outta the shitter. Talk about seared memory
One time, in a gay bar in Kansas City, with my eventual ex-finance. Is it bad for straight sex in a gay bar bathroom? In my defense, it was quite roomy and the outer door locked.
“Back in the day, I bagged lots of chicks in public bathrooms.”
Of course, it was the KFC and they made me stop once the drive-thru window was repaired…
BJ – There would have been a demon dwarf covered in the Hershey squirts, running around trying to figure out where the shower of shit came from. And, I would have had a massive coronary, immediately.
BJ – for whatever reason, a fire shit covered demon dwarf does not scare me.
I cannot believe that I typed that sentence, and that it makes perfect sense to me.
What? Dan used to work at the same KFC I used to work at? Small world.
Don’t eat the green chicken.
What’s the strangest place you ever “MADE WHOOPIE�
For all you Newlywed Game fans, the answer to that is, of course, “In the butt.”
I don’t know if “strange” was the right word, Dan, but….
On a blanket at a Guess Who concert.
In a moving vehicle. While I was driving.
On the hood of a Fiat Spyder convertible parked on the shoulder of a road. It was a two-lane road, and it was late, but still…
In someone’s back yard.
In an ’82 Accord with the seats down in the middle of a shopping center parking lot.
In my sister’s bed.
In a stairwell at a club.
In a dressing room at a club.
On the sidewalk outside a club.
Under a lifeboat on the beach in Ocean City, NJ.
In the bushes outside the chapel on the Maryland campus.
In every room of the neighbor across the street from my mom’s house, including on the kitchen floor. (I was housesitting, and my girlfriend and I were bored.)
I’m guessing you meant with another person…I’d have to think on that.
CraigC – I love Ocean City, NJ
Add on top of an RV at Talladega and Bristol to my list.