Iowahawk is brilliant this morning. Coffee snort keyboard shortcircuit warning.
 British public safety officials today increased the national alert level to “Quite Elevated Indeed” — the highest category possible — and appealed to UK citizens to “keep a sharp lookout for diverse people engaged in activities.”
“We ask the public to report any behaviors by various people that may or may not be of a suspicious nature,” said Lt. Clive Jameson of the Metropolitan Police Service. “We further ask the public to be especially vigilant for activities of broad stratas of people who may be from countries of some sort, especially those within the eastern and/or western hemisphere.”
RELATED: Daffy Miscreants
Gunners fired after President Gen. Pervez Musharraf’s plane took off from a military base on Friday in what one official described as a failed assassination attempt. Security forces quickly raided a nearby home with anti-aircraft guns on the roof, taking the owner in for questioning and searching for a couple who rented the property this week, officials said.
A senior security official said Musharraf was aboard when the plane came under fire, but insisted the aircraft was not within range of the attempt in Rawalpindi, a garrison city south of the capital where Musharraf narrowly escaped two attempts on his life in 2003.
Television footage from an overlooking building showed a large gun pointed skyward next to a satellite dish as security officials rushed around. Two anti-aircraft guns and a light machine gun were found on the roof and the homeowner was taken in for questioning, three officials told The Associated Press.
“It was an unsuccessful effort by miscreants to target the president’s plane,” the senior security official told AP. The official, like those who described the raid on the house, spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak on the record. “They fled quickly, and our security agencies are still investigating.”
“So, we’d like to rent your place for a couple of weeks. Mind if we place an anti-aircraft gun or two on the roof? We’re avid duck hunters. Right, honey?”
WTF? How can someone place anti-aircraft guns on a roof and not have them noticed, when they’re near an airport?
When the IRA was blowing shit up, was it OK to mention that they’re Irish Catholics?
As a Catholic, I resent your remark, Paclo, and will be reporting you to the local university’s office of diversity affairs for re-education. Good day to you, sir.
*ten minutes passes*
… well, the diversity office tells me right-thinking citizens say you can still sh*t on Catholics – nay, it’s encouraged. Never mind.
*Pablo*, dammit, not Paclo. Nothing like screwing up the joke with a typo.
Jeez, I miss preview.
“As we saw recently in Glasgow, if a well-meaning but untrained citizen steps in and tries to stop a diverse person of activity by kicking him or her in the testicles, he or she could suffer a painful tendon injury.”
There is your answer for what to call them, Dan. They aren’t terrorists, they are Diverse Persons of Activity! now.
The diversity office just called and you are now to refer to Catholics as “Transubstantiation Americans.”
GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR!
I feel sorry for Mr. Iowahawk. He’s a damn genius at parody in an age where the line between parody and reality has disappeared. His shit reads like an actual news release.
BJ–I did a post with Olbermann denouncing Benedict XVI at Bloody Scott.
Dan:
Hah! Good one. And I knew that, at least, you and Geezer would get the joke.
Dan – that was excellent. Well done.
StickyB,
Iowahawk’s piece does have teh smell of truthiness about it.
He could write news articles for the NYT.
They keep getting attacked. They give their PM high approval marks. I think this says something about the nature of the opposition there, even moreso than what it says about their media.
Can I call that bunch Flaming Mo’s ?
Flaming Mo Foes?
Iowahawk brilliantly parodied the insanity of the Left, the question is, will it sink in?
I vote…not.
Iowahawk brilliantly parodied the insanity of the Left, the question is, will it sink in?
What? You think the left reads Iowahawk?
Absolutely Pythonesque is Iowahawk’s latest.
Cordially…
diverse people of activity, who may or may not be from the easten or western hemisphere.
Good stuff …
If we are looking for diverse people of activity, I presume that JDAM can henceforth stand for Joint Diverse Activity Munition. It has a nice ring to it.
And when Anti-aircraft guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have . . . oh, never mind.
Hunter S. Thompson would approve.
“Security forces quickly raided a nearby home with anti-aircraft guns on the roof…”
You know, you would think mounting AA guns on the roof of a house near a military airfield would be enough to raise suspicions right there. I guess the threat wasn’t imminent enough at that point.
After 1969 the IRA rapidly became a Marxist-Leninist insurgency, with the only connection to Catholicism being the pool of recruits.
Anyway, as an Irish guy who moved to the UK just after the IRA blew up Mountbatten, I have to say that I just love the Brits. In two years of life in the UK, I can only count one or two “F*ckin’ Paddy” incidents, which count for nothing by comparison with the common courtesy I experienced.
I think the Brits may have gone a bit too PC of late, but I think that much of it simply reflects a stiff-upper-lip unflappability.
All that said, Iowahawk is a genius.
DPOA, for short.
What always amazes me about that sort of policy is that the people promoting it never seem to notice that it’s not only ineffective, it’s directly and forcefully counterproductive.
I can tell you the party affiliation of any politician mentioned in an American newspaper report within at most the first three paragraphs, and more generally two. If party is mentioned it’s easy, of course. If the piece is complimentary and party isn’t mentioned early, the politician is a Republican; if the piece is accusatory and party isn’t specified, the politician is a Democrat. It’s become a convention anybody who pays attention can read.
Similarly, literally anybody (including the multicultis) who turns on the TV and sees a talking head in expensive suiting pontificating on the need for tolerance and understanding of cultural differences is going to immediately think, “Oh, s*t, what/who have the [mad camel-fuckers | poor downtrodden Muslims] blown up now.” It’s literally the only subject that receives that treatment, and the result is to emphasize rather than suppress the data.
A deflagration is much less dangerous than an explosion, and the difference between the two is that the explosion results from containment. A lump of plastic explosive makes a nice fire to heat your coffee — just don’t try to stomp it out afterward, unless you don’t need that foot any more. If the goal of the apologists is to contain the reaction until it explodes disastrously, they’re going the right way about it.
Regards,
Ric
Thank you, Ric. People in my meeting are wondering why I just burst out in laughter. “Camel fuckers” – off to re-education, diversity, and sensitivity training for you.
Weird. I lived in Detroit and drove a Japanese car, and only had two “f*ckin Jap” incidents. Maybe there’s a one-per-year restriction on that kind of thing?
It’s Wusharaff season, or haven’t you heard
Happy to be of service, JD. If you’ll post your meeting schedule I’ll try to help you keep things lively.
Regards,
Ric
Ric – I had to excuse myself from the meeting. I could not quit chuckling, and the topic of the meeting did not lend itself to humor. Highlight of the meeting.
A meeting that doesn’t lend itself to humor is a useless meeting. People planning the Apocalypse ought to make black-humor jokes about the sexual proclivities of angels.
Regards,
Ric
>I lived in Detroit and drove a Japanese car, and only had two “f*ckin Jap†incidents. Maybe there’s a one-per-year restriction on that kind of thing?
It may well indicate that the Special Relationship holds more true than we think.
God bless you.
I simply refer to them now as “moose limbs” and when confronted with documention plan to argue,(over the sound of clicking knitting needles) au contraire,I was merely refering to the anatomy of a one ton, four-legged ungulate known to stand stupidly in the centre of any given highway 15 seconds after the sun hits the horizon.
Its hoped it will induce the heads of the political commisars on whatever star chamber “hate crimes/human rights commission” to spontaniously explode. Oh yeah, and the snowmobiles they rode in on.
It could happen.
Hence the old WW2-era saying, Moose limbs shank sheeps.”
Or something.
Percy D,
Hey, I’m Irish Catholic. I believe that bestows Absolute Moral Authority upon me. Or maybe we need to blow more shit up to maintain it…
Who’s got the frigging manual?
– – – = = = H i ! _ G a y s _ T h a n k _ y o u _ f o r _ s u c h _ a n _ i n f o r m a t i v e _ w e b s i t e . . V e r i _ i n t e r e s t i n _ a n _ e a y _ t o _ c o m p r e h e n d – T h a n x ! – – = = A l l , N i c e _ s i t e , _ I _h a v e _ b e e n _ s e e i n g _ s o m e _ r e a l l y i n t e r e s t i n g _ c o m m e n t s . . . _ g o i n g _ t o _ t e l l _ m e _ f r i e n d _ l o u i s e _ a b o u t _ t h i s _ s i t e ! ! = = = – – –