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Another moment of unabashed pragmatism

Sure, I can go out in the heat and check the mail. But then, with about as much effort, I can whip up a pitcher of frozen margaritas and a BLT — an added benefit being that neither the margaritas nor the BLT will refer me to a payment schedule or rub their obscenely accrued interest in my face.

A no brainer, this one is.

47 Replies to “Another moment of unabashed pragmatism”

  1. Merovign says:

    Due, I am SO with you on this one. Except I think I’m going to make slow-cooked spaghetti sauce this afternoon. And evening.

    That’s even MORE time to not check the mail.

  2. Pablo says:

    Good call. Mail is rarely as satisfying as tequila and pork products.

  3. McGehee says:

    What — you don’t get tequila and pork products in the mail?

  4. Pablo says:

    You do? I want on that mailing list.

  5. Tman says:

    Some say that this Goldstein character is known to speak of a certain armored rodent on a particular day of the week, in response to the demands of his adoring fans. This four-legged fornicator is known for alcohol-fueled comical highjinks of the most amusing nature.

    The crowd begins to chant……WHERE IS THE ‘DILLO!!???!?!??!!??

    WHERE IS THE ‘DILLO!!???!?!??!!??

    WHERE IS THE ‘DILLO!!???!?!??!!??

    WHERE IS THE ‘DILLO!!???!?!??!!??

  6. RC says:

    It’s been so long I suspect the ‘dillo is now a candy bowl he keeps on his coffee table.

  7. Bill D. Cat says:

    Heh . . The dreaded R rating was achieved . I’m a little disappointed at the cost tho ….. sex 4 times , suicide 3 times and pissed a lousy 1 time . Gonna have to up the quality of vulgarity in these here parts . Pricks did’nt even catch a single cock slap .

  8. Bill D. Cat says:

    Heh .

  9. Bill D. Cat says:

    Sorry ,cant get link to work . http:/mingle.com/blog-rating

  10. McGehee says:

    Actually, I get ’em by raiding my next-door neighbor’s mailbox. I think he’s half-Mexican, half-redneck.

  11. SteveG says:

    The sandwich seems like a waste of time….

  12. Tman says:

    WE WANT THE ‘DILLO!!! clap-clap clapclapclap..

    WE WANT THE ‘DILLO!!! clap-clap clapclapclap

    Meh. It never works when I ask for it. Jeff is not one to take to requests. Maybe I try reverse psychiatry.

    Jeff,

    PLEASE DON’T POST ANYTHING ABOUT THAT RASCALLY RODENT. ESPECIALLY NOT TODAY. ON A FRIDAY.

  13. happyfeet says:

    One of the reasons you said you wanted to replatform was so you could post pictures? I would like to see a picture.

  14. Benedick says:

    As long as you don’t go touching yourself with the BLT like you did earlier with the jerky. ‘Cause that was creepy.

  15. PEACE BE TO ALLAH says:

    I am sure you infidels would like to see pix of uncovered women just like you like to have sex solo while looking at pix of man kkkoulter your morally repugnant behavior got you an R rating and will find your just reward when allah peace be upon him gets his chance to rain vengance down upon you for your despecable habits like watching lindsey hohan movies and videos and allowing rosie to walk around uncovered though that might make a shortage of burlap or muslin but you degenerates prove that the religion of peace peace I say will return to the kkkalifate once again

  16. PEACE BE TO ALLAH says:

    and masturbating with unclean meat while picturing unclean women in varying degrees of undress sick infidels

  17. Timmyb, heet, shine, turn in your troll badges. WE HAVE A NEW SHERRIFF IN TOWN.

  18. PEACE BE TO ALLAH says:

    no figs or olives or virgins for the infidel from mudbug land we saw what your god thought of louisiana when allah unleashed his fury with katrina focusing the wrath on minorities women and children because of the rethuglikkkan policies

  19. gahrie says:

    Where is the dildo?

    What type of site is this?

  20. gahrie says:

    Oh….

    nevermind.

  21. PEACE BE TO ALLAH says:

    dildo dildo you filthy infidel allah will not tolerate such aberrant behavior if you wish to cum frolick amongst the pure virginal hordes that can only be found in allahs paradise so you dildo wielding homos will have to continue to beg for your place amongst the pure

  22. SteveG says:

    Peace be to allah… is this BECAUSE OF THE BACON!!!!!

  23. PEACE BE TO ALLAH says:

    tequila pork products dildos armadillos cock slaps sex the decadent west is so unpure I must flagellate myself just for reading this maybe even bang a scimtar against my forehead until I bleed

  24. McGehee says:

    maybe even bang a scimtar against my forehead until I bleed

    You have a YouTube account, right (all terrorists peaceful Muslims have YouTube accounts)? We’ll want to see this.

  25. B Moe says:

    Put one of these:
    http://www.cabelas.com/prod-1/0041414228322a.shtml
    on your Amazon Wish-List, Jeff, and I will buy it for you. Should work perfect for troll extractions.

  26. PEACE BE TO ALLAH says:

    you mock me macgeehee you mock me the streets will flow with the blood of the non believers what is this u tube of which you speak and why do you infidels mock the mark of the scimtar which shows the degree of our passion

  27. SteveG says:

    My scimitar bends the other direction… as in: at the “other” forehead.
    So to speak.
    Just a tip (see previous thread on ancient ritual)

  28. PC says:

    what? this is a troll? Sheesh and here I was enjoying the joke. Comical, I say. Especially since I haven’t been around long enough to “get” the hilarity of the ‘dillo.
    I do, however, totally “get” the hilarity of this Allah-lover and his non-punctuation.
    :P

  29. PEACE BE TO ALLAH says:

    PC you will join macgehee in the long line of the others INFIDEL while the faithful will enjoy the fruits and I mean fruits of the figs dates and grapes and the unspoiled loins of properly covered pure muslim women who I can tell you their loins are quite fruity once your are able to navigate all of the coarse pubic curlies but enough of that PCnonbeliever you will have to sit back and dream of our eternal rest while you are forced to watch reruns of the view fat uncovered infidel women and maury povich gay infidel cheating bastards and their whore girlfriends who give birth to strange looking children while listening to david hasselhoffs new albumn

  30. PEACE BE TO ALLAH says:

    pc you take your name from one of the pillars of the downfall of your saddam and gonorrhea society you see we understand that women and gays have their places and do not make up cute names like patriarchy and homosexuals to describe them women are subservient and cater to our needs and gays are stoned no need for youfamism u argue over trivial things like looksism and can I call rosie fat while we wage war against the infidels and those pesky jews

  31. Shawn says:

    I want nothing to do with fruity loins.

  32. PEACE BE TO ALLAH says:

    shawn questions the purity of muslim women I bet he gets off rubbing his pee pee with grapes and figs while dreaming about um kathoum or having impure thoughts about diane feinstein

  33. Sean M. says:

    I hope you’re a hunter, B Moe. Otherwise, I don’t want to know where you found that.

  34. Merovign says:

    A voluminous but poor quality faux troll.

    I mean, unless we found the only 48-IQ moron in the world that uses the “KKK” meme both for his enemies and himself and yet still types “rain of fire” instead of “reign of fire,” which is de rigeur for that type.

    And anyway, my spaghetti sauce is almost done.

  35. Darth Bacon says:

    Did somebody mention bacon?

    http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y156/Tripleneck/?action=view&current=DSCF0286.jpg

    That’s right- I make that. Only guy in Philly who triple-smokes his own bacon.

    You may dream about teh smell.

  36. ahem says:

    Withheld: Are you on mushrooms tonight? You should have told me. I would have come over.

  37. McGehee says:

    Hey, don’t dis the fruity loins. I used to wear BVDs or Hanes, but the Fruity Loin drawers are cheaper and just as good.

  38. McGehee says:

    Fruity what?

    Loom?

    <smacks forehead> Ohhhhh!

  39. Jeff G. says:

    A discreet reminder: the ‘dillo’s return shall herald the end phase of a certain legal fight I’ve been engaged in, and that has been taking up much of my time.

    Too, I still have no Photoshop (working on it); and when I am finally finished with my legal battles and the work involved in potty training, I hope to put out a podcast — as well as return with a modified version of the CITIZEN JOURNALIST REPORT (weekly, but most in front of green screen, with occasional forays into field reporting and costumed hijinks. Need to ready myself for the Dem convention; sure do hope either Hot Air or Pajamas can get me a press pass. Because that would be freakin’ killer.

  40. JD says:

    Jeff – Speaking as one of your minions, is there anything we can do to encourage PJM and Hot Air to come through with the press passes? Because that would be priceless.

  41. Jeff G. says:

    Write them and DEMAND it. Think of them as Voinovich proxies, and go all Hannity on their asses.

  42. RDub says:

    Speaking for myself I’d rather not be thought of as Voinovich anything, thank you very much. But the writing I can do.

  43. Tman says:

    Sorry Jeff, didn’t know. Hope it wraps up soon, lemme know if there’s anything I can do.

  44. A press pass Jeff? But the best convention reporting done so far was yours w/o a pass …

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