to him???

For a mad moment I thought of linking to David Thompson’s excellent extract from a speech given by Salman Rushdie regarding the craven behavior of the Western media in the face of Islamist threats, and how self-defeating that was, when it suddenly struck me (rather like Saul, I should say) that PW’s readership really might be better served by a post regarding Jessica Alba’s honey pot. Don’t ask me where these inspirations come from, because I can’t really say. It’s as though the clouds part, and there’s a dazzling light, and from within this numinousity a voice booms out (for example), “Daniel”–He calls me that–“do not waste your time on this Islamist crap, for I will lead you to a land of milkduds and honey pots.” And lo! thus transported, thus inspired beyond the bounds of mere mortal blogtality, I write.

For all of you who think that Jessica Alba’s actually shown being married in that photo, let me assure you that it’s just a bit of the Fantastic Four movie (in case you haven’t seen it), and that you still stand a chance if you’ll only shell out the $14.95 (plus shipping and handling) for Ace’s Guide to Nailing the Babes. I should mention, though, that the competition appears to be “stiff,” as is demonstrated by some of the comments at the site from which I lifted the photo, of which this one is perhaps the creepiest of all:

joseph
Jun 21, 2007 at 3:31 am

i love jessica alba, i wish i can tell her personnally that she’s one in a million of pretty girls i have ever seen, i’m very honored to have known such beauty exist in this lifetime of ours and one of the prettiest girl who ever wore a bridal gown. i pray that she marries mr.right, yes true indeed there is a mr.right for such a special girl as jessica alba. i just wish i can tell her personnally that i have feelings for her, that i wish we could party together, dance together, drink, dine together……..sleep together? i will be her knight and shining armour, i will give my life for her! i will slay a dragon if i get to sleep with her….to sleep with her with my whole lifetime….to spend time with her till there is the world to exist, to send tme with her through the end of time….

My observation is that none of these numbnuts has even done a bit of the fundamental investigation that the kind of celebrity stalkers who really win the love of the object of their affections actually does. For example, a good start to your research can be found here, where you can view Jessica’s (we’re on a first-name basis) birth chart and then find out how deep your compatibility goes. Please, spare yourself the embarassment of rejection and do a little spadework!

Having said all that, Jessica Alba was in Honey, and was very hot, but I recommend you invest in some good pot before you view it, because the movie is crap.