Just peeked into my backyard to find the wreckage of my patio set strewn about like so much splintered driftwood. Seems a strong prairie wind not only snapped a teak picnic umbrella into pieces at the base, but it likewise cracked the rear legs on two matching chairs and the seat of a matching bar stool.
$500 worth of damage, pre-taxes, I figure.
I’m gonna go take a nice, long nap. Then I’m going to head over to Blockbuster and apply for a job.
With any luck I should be able to sit outside with a beer and a brat by, say, late September. GO BRONCOS!
*****
update: The wind continues to blow with a violence and gusto that puts me in mind of that Pam Anderson – Tommy Lee internet video. Thanks to Diana, Toni, and John, though, I should be able to at least replace the umbrella.
Much appreciated!
I’m beginning to wish I was getting paid to write a Paris Hilton prison diary.
Well, that, um, BLOWS!
What’s your price?
SB: force97
from Navarone?
I worked at a place where all the umbrellas blew away down canyon. We found one. The others probably ended up in the Pacific.
Also never go outside during a wind if your neighbor has one of those sheet metal garden sheds…. nothing like having one of those tracking you like a sheet metal tumbleweed
Good God, SteveG. That’s just about the scariest vision I could think of.
Many years ago during a hurricane in SE Mass., a large pane of glass blew off the small greenhouse that was attached to our house (Mom’s Playland.) My Dad, in his insane Portuguese Mariner guise, insisted we go out in the 90 mph winds and secure plywood over the frame. I was about 17 and standing on that ladder watching the panes of greenhouse glass vibrate under me from the gusts just about scared me to death.
Never have forgiven Dad for that one…
*looks closely at Jeff’s pix in sidebar*
*considers daily afternoon “naps.”*
*estimates distance from Colorado to Mexican border*
Okay, hombre, when you get up from your siesta, how’s about breaking out some ID? I’m getting sorta suspicious!
*laughs*
You mean you don’t just dash out to the shop, pull out the prototype and the set of shop drawings with measurements and make more?
You’re not Norm Abrams?
Nevermind.
I could do it, but I’m about $7000 worth of Delta working tools and a workshop short. I’ve got some wood glue, maybe you can salvage the chairs.
That won’t work either. You need to clean the teak with acetone for the glue to stick. Since the jihadis use acetone to make explosives, you’re liable to end up on some sort of terrorist watch list. Or get raided by BATF.
The Blockbuster gig sounds like a better bet. Maybe you can watch a movie about beer and brats on the deck.
Does this mean that in a fit of Hospitality we need to buy you Alpha Dog from your Amazon list? Because I don’t know if I can support “Justin”, even if it’s just on the periphery.
Crack open that homeowner’s policy and see if you can squeeze a buck or two out of it.
Any thoughts on the Broncos this year Jeff? I really liked the Sam Adams pick-up. The addition of Bly gives the Broncs the best CB tandem in the league and Henry is just the kind of back that thrives in Shanahans’ cut-back run offense.
Major John beat me to it. What’s your deductible?
I used to know a couple of prairie winds like that, but my wife won’t let me have them round anymore.
What’s this internet video?
The wind storm made headlines at Drudge this morning, 142 mph winds at 2000 feet.
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/13460263/detail.html