In 1769, frontiersman Daniel Boone first began to explore present-day Kentucky. As did an unnamed raccoon—though for his part, he did so involuntarily. And without any internal organs.
In 1929, the sovereign state of Vatican City came into existence—giving birth to the very first Vatican City gift shop, and introducing the world to the “action figure.” Which in this case was a 10” Pope Pius XI doll that could, with the push of a button, deliver either a benediction or a “devastating Papal roundhouse kick!” designed to “boot the Devil in his unholy grill.”
In 1981, Israeli military planes destroyed a nuclear power plant in Iraq. The western Europeans hissed, claiming Iraq posed no threat. Today, their children carry on that message. God bless the consistent little hobgoblins.
In 2006, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the leader of al-Qaida in Iraq, was killed by a U.S. airstrike—a feat made all the more amazing because al Qaida wasn’t in Iraq to begin with, and because no laughing children flying kites at a rural wedding ceremony were indiscriminately killed by the robotic US war machine. Which was a first.
In 2007, protein wisdom, suffering from a slight case of monkey ass, rediscovers talcum powder—and all is fine with the world!
All Cardinals are black-belt Papa-ji Masters. Bet you didn’t know that. That guy who jumped the Pope-Mobile? Wrestled to the ground for his own protection.
Yeah, a word about that talcum powder. It’s better to use corn starch.
Because Talc is a fiberous mineral, simular to asbestos, and has carcinogenic properties when exposed to smooth tissue, especially in the pubic areas or nasal passages due to inhilation.
This info is provided to you via the efforts of my mineralogy professor and with linky goodness, because we don’t want anyone getting ass cancer.
a feat made all the more amazing because al Qaida wasn’t in Iraq to begin with, and because no laughing children flying kites at a rural wedding ceremony were indiscriminately killed by the robotic US war machine. Which was a first.
That corn-hole stuff/craze is weird. A few years back people we talking about it on Ace’s, but I hadn’t seen it for myself. I was camping in Ohio a month ago, and many of the other sites (I’d say about 35% of them) had BROUGHT their own “corn hole” sets. It was like I was in a cult compound or something.
Since I nerded out on that one, is it possibly a minor redemption to suggest that if protien wisdom ever wanted to have an “official mineral” they should pick Cummingtonite?
a feat made all the more amazing because al Qaida wasn’t in Iraq to begin with, and because no laughing children flying kites at a rural wedding ceremony were indiscriminately killed by the robotic US war machine. Which was a first.
Don’t mean to be a fly in the ointment or talc here, but, according to news reports, children were killed int he bombing. Just thought I’d mention it. Personally, given our trouble apprehending him and 100% knowledge of his whereabouts, I would have ordered that air strike too. Even though, in the end, it didn’t change much about Iraq, maybe things would be worse? He certainly deserved what happened to him and, if there had been a way to grab him or kill him without killing his wife and child, I’m sure the US military would have done so.
All I’m saying is that flippantly declaring the absence of children, when they were among the dead, seems odd. The fact that we care (and I include Jeff, myself, Major John and everyone else, including the US soldiers who were reportedly disquieted by the sight of the collateral dead) means that we are better than our enemies. In fact, the fact that we care is one thing that transcends party differences and shows our inherent American character. At least, that’s what I think.
I was camping in Ohio a month ago, and many of the other sites (I’d say about 35% of them) had BROUGHT their own “corn hole†sets. It was like I was in a cult compound or something.
The way to understand corn hole is to think of it as horseshoes made safe for drunks.
Now, screaming monkey corn hole involves replacing one of the bean bags with one of these. The monkey counts for double points.
It’s a vicious and amusing game, mainly because of all the screaming.
As the “Damnable fried chicken, wife subbordinating, Southern Baptist” on the post, I’ll just give you some of my unused “That’s a pure concidence” credits to off set that!
As much as I love posts like this, reading one after one of the more scholarly entries generates a feeling not unlike whiplash. Now that’s range for you.
All Cardinals are black-belt Papa-ji Masters. Bet you didn’t know that. That guy who jumped the Pope-Mobile? Wrestled to the ground for his own protection.
I thought it was because he was German.
Never trust an leaping Kraut. Is a homily with my people.
Ratzi hisself is proficient in Leaping Jesuit and Bowing Fransican styles, I hear.
Time to call in an airstrike on Jeff’s babboon-butt…
Speaking of “unholy grills”….
You need to stop taking Sheryl Crow so seriously.
The Pope’s guards have been trained in Hans Küng Fu.
Haven’t you guys seen “The Karate Kid?”
Where so you think “The Crane” came from?
Think about it…
Hint: Not from Okinawa…
Crouching Kraut, Hidden Jew?
And, yes, I really do hate myself.
Bravo.
(However, isn’t that officially considered sort of an apostate fighting style by the Church?)
TW: hell18 – oh, get the f*** outta here….
“You can’t overlook the lack, jack, of any other highway to ride.
It’s got no signs or dividing lines and very few rules to guide.”
— Grateful Dead, “New Speedway Boogie”
SB: wrote69
smart ass
Well, as the Pope said,”We all make mistakes. Oh, wait . . .”
Wow, that’s weird. Today at work we took a long lunch and played a screaming-monkey corn hole tournament.
Yeah, a word about that talcum powder. It’s better to use corn starch.
Because Talc is a fiberous mineral, simular to asbestos, and has carcinogenic properties when exposed to smooth tissue, especially in the pubic areas or nasal passages due to inhilation.
This info is provided to you via the efforts of my mineralogy professor and with linky goodness, because we don’t want anyone getting ass cancer.
Next time don’t give the monkey the corn-cob. I believe in fairness too, but it’s not right what he did to you with that thing.
Yes, it is, but it may be useful in self defense since it’s a deadly sin.
ROb B.,
And the tort plaintiff’s bar – I saw that one trotted out (except they claimed the talc was contaminated with tremolite) before…
That is what THEY want you to think!!11!1!
That hurt. It made hot tea come out of my nose and, yes, ruined still another keyboard.
Corn holing Baboon cancer ass? What has this world come to? Does sound a bad gay porn movie though…Not that I have a problem with the gays…..
That corn-hole stuff/craze is weird. A few years back people we talking about it on Ace’s, but I hadn’t seen it for myself. I was camping in Ohio a month ago, and many of the other sites (I’d say about 35% of them) had BROUGHT their own “corn hole” sets. It was like I was in a cult compound or something.
Since I nerded out on that one, is it possibly a minor redemption to suggest that if protien wisdom ever wanted to have an “official mineral” they should pick Cummingtonite?
Don’t mean to be a fly in the ointment or talc here, but, according to news reports, children were killed int he bombing. Just thought I’d mention it. Personally, given our trouble apprehending him and 100% knowledge of his whereabouts, I would have ordered that air strike too. Even though, in the end, it didn’t change much about Iraq, maybe things would be worse? He certainly deserved what happened to him and, if there had been a way to grab him or kill him without killing his wife and child, I’m sure the US military would have done so.
All I’m saying is that flippantly declaring the absence of children, when they were among the dead, seems odd. The fact that we care (and I include Jeff, myself, Major John and everyone else, including the US soldiers who were reportedly disquieted by the sight of the collateral dead) means that we are better than our enemies. In fact, the fact that we care is one thing that transcends party differences and shows our inherent American character. At least, that’s what I think.
I return you to your original discussion
The way to understand corn hole is to think of it as horseshoes made safe for drunks.
Now, screaming monkey corn hole involves replacing one of the bean bags with one of these. The monkey counts for double points.
It’s a vicious and amusing game, mainly because of all the screaming.
Well, buzz kill, I hope you realize that the guilt for their deaths falls squarely on Zarqawi. It’s a war crime to hide among civilians.
Funny you don’t hear HRW, AI, ICRC, etc. screaming about it, though.
There was a link to this at that screaming monkey site, Rob. Times like these make it hard to be an atheist.
There is no such thing as a slight case of the monkey ass.
B Moe,
Nice. Freakin Nice.
As the “Damnable fried chicken, wife subbordinating, Southern Baptist” on the post, I’ll just give you some of my unused “That’s a pure concidence” credits to off set that!
BMoe:
I’m sitting in my office cackling like crazy homeless guy over that link.
Bwaaaa hahahahaha!!!
I owe you for that!
timmyb
More like a fly in the dogshit…..
Rob B. – what up with all the amphiboles, man? You trying to give everyone mesothelioma or sumthin’?
How about something that would fit the Billy Jack theme, like….um, turquoise.
Didn’t some recently discovered archives reveal that the raccoon’s name was “Zebediah”?
Huh, must be Lewis and Clark’s pet porcupine I’m thinking of…
Since this one seems to be beneath even Dan, I guess it is up to me:
I thought her name was Hattie…
/rimshot
/duck
For Billy Jack we’d need to use Apache Tears , which bestow good luck according to legend, However, like Chuck Norris, Billy Jack never crys.
Two words …..
Anti-Monkey Butt
or would that be three.
Anyway just bought some last week.
I remember that one. He’d just said to the assembled fellahs, “The next round is on me, guys” when this 500 pounder came through the roof.
Spooky.
As much as I love posts like this, reading one after one of the more scholarly entries generates a feeling not unlike whiplash. Now that’s range for you.