Just so’s you know, toward the end of his life, Jacques Derrida took to wearing a cape.
Which is in direct contrast to Abe Vigoda, who has never been seen without a suit—even by his many lovers.
Is it any coincidence, then, that you’d have a better chance of catching Vigoda dry humping a head shot of Barbara Barrie than hearing him utter the phrase, “immediately or in the end, through so many differential relays, [capital contradiction] will not fall to induce the ‘pragmatic’ double constraint of all injunctions”?
No. I don’t believe it is.
Though for what it’s worth—and for you Bakhtinians out there—Max Gail has been known to hit the opium pipe. So make of that intra- / inter-textual heteroglossia what you will.
Sorry. But I’m in a rather strange mood today.
I guess I shouldn’t have eaten the worm.
Obviously speaking about Christine.
Who is Christine?
Errr. She was the pretext for that Hair America post to go over 400 comments.
Sweet sandals of Allah. I’m laughing and I have no idea who Abe Vigoda or Barbara Barrie are.
I think it was the cape that did it.
I’m sorry—I thought that this was an English language site. When did ya’ll start speaking in tongues?
But I DO remember Barney Miller, so can I get at least partial credit?
I always liked Jack Soo, myself. My favorite scene with him begins with one of the cops grabbing a jacket and saying, “Come on, there’s a casino operating on Street. They have a roulette wheel, crap tables, blackjack…”
Soo looks up, interested. “They runnin’ any ponies?”
“Chano, will you call Bernice and have her come take her husband home? I think he needs a vacation.”
Greatest Barney Miller sequence of all time (from memory):
Wojo: So you only have sex with men? How can you not have sex with women? I mean, it doesn’t matter to me one way or the other…”
Gay Soviet Defector: Ahhhhhh! You are bi-seex-ual!
TW: out84. Actually, the show went off the air in ‘82, so the chronology doesn’t quite work.
My favorite Barney Miller episode was the one with the guy who came from the future and recognized Lt. Dietrich as a great, great man.
But, as Edna Mode said, no capes!
What the fuck does that sentence mean ?
If a simple tequila worm can have this kind of bizarre effect on our host, I cringe at the thought of the effect a handful of magic mushrooms would have …
DO YOUR OWN WORK, LUGAR!
Great – now I’m going to have the image of a randy Detective Fish stuck in my head all day…
Derrida spoke at my campus, and he was not wearing a cape.
His lecture was titled, “Is my death possible?” After two hours of incomprehensible blather, we were sorely hoping that it was.
I liked most of the characters, but the always-dapper Harris had the best line, IMHO, in the “mercenary” episode:
Mercenary (to Harris): What about you? You ever think about doin’ “merc work?”
Harris: Pfft! Me? In khaki?
TW: earth57-tones
I have now read this at least 10 times, and still have no fucking clue what it means.
I feel your pain. I tells ya, the readings one has to do to impress (and then schtupp) hippie chicks is just outrageous.
Excitable man: My wife is missing.
Detective Fish: So?
Excitable Man: You don’t understand! My wife is missing!
Detective Fish: I fail to see what the problem is.
I saw Abe Vigoda without a suit – in one episode of Barney Miller he wore a dress.
Barney: You can take the dress off, your shift is over.
Fish: I will keep it on, might get seat on the subway.
I am going to memorize this quote, and then next time I get questioned in a meeting, I will trot this quote out, so I can sound really deep and introspective. Most people, rather than admit they have no idea what I am talking about, will just nod their head, and politely change the subject.
VP : We really need to address FY07 IBNR. JD, what actions do you think we can take, in the short term, to ensure a good fiscal result for this year?
JD (pensively) : Well, I think immediately or in the end, through so many differential relays, [capital contradiction] will not fall to induce the ‘pragmatic’ double constraint of all injunctions?
VP : Interesting. Let’s move on to the ULAE numbers for the current quarter.
If I get really stuck right now, I will mumble something in Russian, Vietnamese, or Arabic. Once somebody asks me what that means, I take that opportunity to derail the subject and steer the meeting away from where it was headed.
Cheating? Yeah. Effective? Hell yeah.
Here are some of my personal favorites …
ýõ ÷ýðю ÃÂÞ ûюñûю ÿøòþ
Am hi vu lớn kwa OR An tay chai cứng như sừng
Inti ajmal min al qumr fouk al sahara
So how have those zinc futures been doing over the last 25 years or so?
(makes more sense than Derrida…)
Jacques Derrida took to wearing a cape.
That ain’t the half of it.
SEK – Can you explain what that damn quote means, in English?
Not really, but I’ll give it a whack. It means that everything only has meaning in a signifying system based on difference. Take bread, for example. When you think about Wonder Bread, in your head you’re already comparing it all the other breads you could slap ham and cheese on. You may not be consciously doing so, but in the signifying system of breads, the mere mention of Wonder Bread invokes all the other fancy breads you’re not choosing to slap ham and cheese on. So there is no Platonic ideal of Bread to which Wonder Bread aspires or is compared to; instead, it is compared to all the other extant breads.
True story: a former co-worker of mine once served Abe Vigoda clams marinara and sang him “Happy Birthday”.
Wonder Bread and Abe Vigoda with clams marinara. And people wonder why I come here.
Didn’t Abe play Clams Marinara in “The Godfather?”
Thank you, SEK. I now have a follow up question. Sometimes, isn’t a piece of Wonder bread, just a fuckin’ piece of Wonder bread ? Maybe I am far too much of a rube …
On reading this gloriously odd post my first inclination was to ask,
“What is wrong with you?” But of course, you anticipated the question and blamed the worm. Which makes me very suspicious indeed that this is some kind of a set up, sneaky bastard that you are.
Sometimes, isn’t a piece of Wonder bread, just a fuckin’ piece of Wonder bread?
Certainly, but Derrida’s talking about words, and words are never just words. Take “white” and “supremacist,” for example…
I am going to read some more of his work. From what I have read, I really do not care much for him, or rather, his way of thinking. I know what bread is, and I know what I intend when I say the word bread. I recognize that there are subsets, variations, etc … put in the end, it is bread. I always kind of thought that “thinkers” like Derrida were more mental masturbation for people that thought they were a bit smarter than they actually are.
Are you trying to tell me that those two absolutely perfect slices of rye bread I seek to slather with Braunsweiger and red onion slices doesn’t exist? That the best I can hope for is just a darker, funny-shaped Wonder Bread? My life’s dream has been crushed by a pompous old frog in a fucking cape?
Today it’s Braunsweiger and red onion slices, B Moe, tomorrow the horror of stale amortadella and cheap mustard. I stare into the lunchmeat abyss…
OK, Mr. Smartypants: which injunctions doesn’t capital contradiction induce the ‘pragmatic’ double constraint of? Huh?
Wonder bread is not bread as Coors is not beer. Personally, I mentally compare it to spongiform encephalovirus’s aftermath.
I’d like to thank Gabby Derrida for that fine example of 100% pure intellectual horseshit.
As for favorite Barney Miller moments:
Dietrich impersonating Gregory Peck through a closed door with “Go Away!” and a confused teenager on the other side responding “I’m sorry to disturb you, Mr. Peck.”
And Lt. Lugar telling Yamana that adding brown sugar to the coffee line-up was a great idea. In the best Jack Soo deadpan came the response: “It was white.”
However, Dan–Halle Berry’s rack is the Platonic ideal.
Anyone who disagrees with this needs to watch Swordfish again.
And if they still do not agree have established that they are an American-hating communist.
Cheeze it, Scott! There are Catholics in the room.
George 3:16, IIRC.
YOU MEAN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH BREAD CAN’T BE PLATONIC?????
It just can’t be ideal, Geezer.
Fuck a bunch of Wonder Bread, what I say.
Of course, once you’ve learned about Platonic ideals, that has to be factored in when you think about thinking about bread. So the Platonic ideal becomes part of the signifying system, as well, for those so versed.
Meaning that you are not knowing bread only by its difference to other breads; because potentially, you can know bread by its difference to your conception to the Platonic Ideal of bread as you understand it.
Which I suspect is why Derrida took to wearing a cape.
You are more beautiful than a moon above the desert, JD-
My platonic ideal of bread, for some reason, involves a large dollop of soft, melty butter.
Maybe some garlic mixed in that butter? Or maybe honey?
Nope. Just butter. Adding anything else implies the bread is lacking.
Furriskey – Well done.
Misspent youth.
What’s your excuse?
Cryptological Linguist – USAF
Glad I went on a low carb diet and eliminated bread. That has made all this much easier to understand.
I have been waiting to read something that describes my Platonic ideal of bread! No wonder I love week-old bread so much! I will sleep so much better tonight!
Jeff must have gotten that absinthe after all.
Mercenary scumbag, Sultan of Oman’s Army.
You are great !
& pivo is beer, if my Serbo Croat is holding up
For a minute, I read that as “Onan’s Army”. Which conjures up quite a disturbing image.
Can’t.stop.laughing. Boss.approaching.cubicle…