—Which, to be honest, I’d forgotten all about, until the ACLU sent me an automated email. At which point I dutifully yanked myself off the couch, thanked the four hobos I’ve been keeping as wash room attendants for their tireless towel and condom service, and handed them each a fiver and slice of buttered bread before unchaining them and forcing them out into the yard with the business end of a garden spade.
Of course, they can come right back tomorrow as far as I’m concerned—or maybe I can mix things up and bring in some newer, hungrier hobos—but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a few crusty dumpster divers reflect poorly on my commitment to a 792-year-old ideal.
I just wish in the meantime that they’d stop banging on the door with their filthy little vagrant fists. This is, after all, a day of worship.
Developing…
*****
Hmm. Maybe I should take a picture of the hobos napping peacefully in the bushes out front and send it along to the Habeus photo gallery. Because nothing says “Bite me, Mr Bush” quite like the sight of peacefully slumbering hobos with a bit of butter smeared across their patchy beards and tattered dingy thermal undershirts.
Writ of Hobous Corpus?
The ACLU is celebrating the 792nd anniversary of habeas corpus in 2007? Edgy.
Your average run-of-the-mill organization would have waited until 2015 to celebrate the 800th anniversary.
But the ACLU doesn’t go by average run-of-the-mill standards. It’s what makes them the leading civil-rights trial-lawyer cabal in the nation.
Shouldn’t there be some pictures in that gallery of the people who now reside in deep dank holes after being denied Habeas? Why all the liberals and construction paper? And this:
Does the Dr. stand for drunk? And WTF is Melanie on?
Scary! She looks like skelators wife! Very bad teeth, very skinny, glossed over eyes and flanked by her pimp. Classic crack-whore symptoms.
But… but… I thought these voices of dissent were being silenced!
Everybody knows the Kennedys are the real royal family. Habeas corpus, indeed.
I seem to recall that Habeas Corpus is Latin for “Show me the body.” Appropriate for the Kennedy’s isn’t it?
Sure, it’s less effective than “actually getting off your ass”, but it’s still cheaper than “giving money” to someone to fight it.
As for just plain fighting it, we cater to minorities to do that, because it’s a job we Americans just won’t do.
Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.
I remember playing “Hungry Hungry Hoboes” when I was a kid. Man, how we loved that game!
No, it means “I have the body”.
I noticed that my wife was wearing a pair of her “period panties” this morning, so I guess that means I’d better hab me some corpus tonight, or be prepared to give up the idea for several days.
Assuming it’s not already too late.
792, ehh? At that age, it sounds like Mr. Corpus could use a rest now and then.
Especially since he hasn’t taken a breather since he was sent to the sidelines 150 years ago by Abraham Lincoln–a hero to probably every one of those nitwits on the Flickr site (and Andrew Sullivan).
I presume that the ACLU offered some explanation of how they derive habeas corpus ad subjiciendum from Magna Carta instead of from the Habeas Corpus Act of 1679?
Habeas corpus, BTW, means “thou shouldst have the body (ready for surrender)”. There are about half-a-dozen different writs of “habeas corpus…” used for different purposes.
Of course, they leave out Lincoln, and the suspension of habeas corpus, Camp Douglas,
the treatment of Vallindingham, the detention
of Merryman, (the Confederate combatant, ordered free by Taney, to which Lincoln did a Cheney
moment)Milligan,(the sympathizer subsequently freed. Then there’s Wilson who censored the mail
& papers, through the Creel commitee, jailed an
obstinate union leader and former prsidential
candidate, conducted mass deportations of foreign
nationals (including Emma Goldman, the woman who inspired the man who shot McKinley)FDR, and his internment of many foreign nationals (including
Joe Dimaggio’s father)trial of fringe political figures like William Dudley Pelley, Lawrence Dennis, (a slimmer Wall Street version of Michael Moore) among others. Why are they picking this date, to suggest there won’t be any h.c, by 2015
Of course, King John didn’t exactly pay all that much attention to the Magna Carta as soon as he got strong enough to stand up to the nobles once again. In fact, as time progressed one could make an argument that English Kings got even more powerful for the next few hundred years than they had been before.
Still, I’ll have a mead this Father’s Day in celebration of English Common Law. I’ve been to Runnymede, old chap. And I worked in Herndon, Va, which is twinned with Runnymede, so there. Can you name any band other than Steely Dan that has written a song that references this particular period in history? Roll out the bones and raise up your pitcher, raise up your glass to good King John.
What’s wrong with those people in the Habeas photo gallery? Hardly any of them are sporting the required Compassionate Head Tiltâ„¢.
What the fuck are we doing giving our political prisoners internet access??? And digital cams. We don’t need those treasonous bastards posting their pics on an ACLU website! Somebody get AG Gonzalez on the phone, stat!!!
Huh?
Sean, yeah – only one “power fist” too.
I dare someone with an Flickr account to post a LOLcat.
Preferably one that says: “Iz in ur wite houz; revokin ur haybeus korpus.”
I’ve gotta say, <A HREF=http://www.flickr.com/photos/findhabeas/553349209/”>this doofus</A> is my favorite so far. I’m guessing a huge chunk of his disposable income is spent at occult bookstores.
D’oh! Can somebody fix that for me?
Looked kind of like Newt Gingrich at first.
You left off the quote marks.
Just the first one, Steve. Why oh why don’t I use the preview button?
jeff-
See! That’s just the very definition of “people skills”…
Me? I would probably break down and smoke a joint with them– and then I would suddenly awaken in the passenger seat of a ‘72 “VW Vanagon” smuggling 19 Mexican nationals thru Nueva Loredo…
T/W: the73— Okaaayyy… But, I still think it was the72 Vanagon.
I’m guessing a huge chunk of his disposable income is spent at occult bookstores.
And a huge chunk of his equally disposable time is spent trying (unsucessfully) to get into the pants (or, rather, muu-muus) of overweight middle-aged hippie chicks who believe they’re the reincarnation of Boudicca, Nefertiti, Cleopatra, and Nell Gwynn.
TW: worked27 “I just don’t understand it—this sensitive and spiritual shit worked great when I was 27. Oh, right: we were all wasted back then.”
I dunno. That necklace and that backdrop (not to mention the “We are all children of Isis” line) suggest that the dude may well still be wasted.
But maybe that’s just my religious intolerance talking.
PAGANIST!
For that sad collection of Jane Fonda wanna be’s: Please explain how denying habeas corpus to nonuniformed enemy combatants, for whom the Geneva Convention allows summary executions, flows smoothly into the concept of <i>all of habeas corpus having been trashed.</i> I suggest they build another page of laments for the missing critical thinking!
Right on, bag o bones sista! You have the righteousness to speak what the man suppresses and, if caught, you’ll … um … er … hm … oh BE NOTICED AND MOCKED BY RUSH LIMBAUGH!
COURAGE TO SPEAK TRUTHINESS UNDER THREAT OF MOCKING!
Is there anybody else here who thinks that these retro – hippies “daring” to speak truth to power would fold like a cheap card table in an Islamic jail?
“For that sad collection of Jane Fonda wanna be’s: Please explain how denying habeas corpus to nonuniformed enemy combatants, for whom the Geneva Convention allows summary executions, flows smoothly into the concept of all of habeas corpus having been trashed. I suggest they build another page of laments for the missing critical thinking!”
Really, Brian, I expect better. The Geneva Cponventions are so quaint or haven’t you heard.
Of course, the summary executution provision is used for spies and soldiers of another nation who dress in your uniforms and has never been used at any time by my country (see ex Parte Quirin. May seem a bit weird to you, but the ACLU believes that no person should exist in a legal gray area with no rights. We also believe that the US government probably shouldn’t be able to lock up US citizens and resident aliens without proving why they should be locked up.
Just quaint, though, I know.
It’s a different war, man, these people….and the CONSTITUTION IS NOT A SUICIDE PACT.
You defend the right of Hillary Clinton to lock up anyone she wants and claim it for national security. Remember, you trust the clown now governing, but you won’t trust some other clowns someday. And, before you start bending over to protect ridiculous assertions of power (see every Court decision from Hamdan on), you should remember the people you loathe will one day control this government.
What is it that Jeff and his commenters here are burning through with both hands? It’s not credibility, because, of course, they don’t have any. What is it, then? Boy, I’m stumped.
“May seem a bit weird to you, but the ACLU believes that no person should exist in a legal gray area with no rights.”
And what power was the ACLU granted by the Constitution? I can’t seem to find that bit.
“We also believe that the US government probably shouldn’t be able to lock up … resident aliens without proving why they should be locked up.”
We don’t.
“What is it that Jeff and his commenters here are burning through with both hands?”
Cleaning rags and disinfectant, following you around.
"The spy who secretly and without uniform passes the military lines of a belligerent in time of war, seeking to gather military information and communicate it to the enemy, or an enemy combatant who without uniform comes secretly through the lines for the purpose of waging war by destruction of life or property, are familiar examples of belligerents who are generally deemed not to be entitled to the status of prisoners of war, but to be offenders against the law of war subject to trial and punishment by military tribunals."
That one, Timothy? Works for me.
CONSTITUTION IS NOT A SUICIDE PACT.
What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports does this mean?
Also, while we argue about the specific application of Habeas corpus to enemy combatants, how does that translate into said concept being "missing" from all jursisprudence? Is it not just edgy/goofy to suggest that someone is "daring" to speak out like a gay man in Iran when there is no penalty legal or otherwise? Those peoiple are a satire of their own movement. They just don’t know it yet.
It means the USA, where the right explicitly appears in the Constitution, has effectively eliminated the right. It President Tex wanted me jailed tomorrow, all he’d have to do is allege I was a terrorist. He could keep me in jail for years without ever charging me or allowing me counsel. Look, Jose Padilla may not have been a good guy, but he cannot be convicted of the crime he was alleged to have committed when he was arrested and locked in solitary confinement for YEARS.No President should have that right, except with regard to foreign invasion or rebellion (per that prickly Constitution). This is the most basic right a free person has.As for your newfound love for the quaint ol’ Geneva Conventions, you’ll note the section you highlighted says the person is subject to "trial." Not locked up forever.Oh, and just for the record, the Geneva Convention doesn’t apply to anyone we have captured in America, as those folks are entitled tot he protections of the US Constitution, as specified in US law. Geneva is an international treaty and only applies to folks we capture or detain in foreign place. So, the German SS officers caught with phony documents and stolen uniforms during the Battle of the Bulge were shot on site, but the Germans captured in New Jersey, Chicago, Florida, etc (the Quirin case) were given military tribunals and then executed (in violation of common sense if not law: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ex_parte_Quirin.The) MCA is a joke and the ACLU is right to attack it. Decisions like that are why I pay my dues.
So shooting a Nazi spy or saboteur is "in violation of common sense", eh? keep writing those checks to the ACLU then…
Did you read the link, MJ? Are you familiar with the case?Check out the Wikipedia article or the essay penned long ago in Atlantic Monthly. These men did not do anything when they landed on these shores, except to go shopping. In New Jersey, a Civil Defense volunteer came upon them as they were burying their money and uniforms. Their orders were to kill him. instead, they gave him some cash if he promised not to tell and let him go. They weren’t discovered lurking around shipyards or scouting munitions plants. Their ringleader called the FBI to report them…TWICE…since the first time the FBI didn’t believe them. They were all apprehended living in cities, buying things for their girlfriends and having a fine time of it (being out of 1942 Germany was a cause for celebration). For their actions of defying their orders and spending Hitler’s money on clothes and cars and peacefully surrendering to authorities, they were executed after a show trial (FDR demanded they be found guilty and sentenced to death prior to the military tribunal). I know good conservatives (present company excepted?) like to see implacable enemies under their bed at night (in my boyhood it was the Commies; now, the terrorists live RIGHT NEXT DOOR!), but these guys were less dangerous to America than the Supreme Court’s decision in Quirin or Kopematsu.Here are some links for you, John: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/prem/200202/cohen (that link may not work for a non-subscriber, let me know and I can paste to your blog or some such thing) Here is a law review article co-written by a friend of mine (from back in the day) http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=931927You could find that on Westlaw or Lexis. The whole case is a fine example of how democracy gets trampled by fear in wartime.Finally, "Professor" Yoo (abominable to me, but possibly acceptable to you) on how Quirin relates to his understanding of Gitmo, etc. http://www.icasinc.org/2002/2002w/2002wjcy.html
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