From a security perspective—and as a matter of permanent US policy—we should never, ever preemptively take the use of tactical nukes off the table when dealing with a foreign enemy.
That being said, in this particular instance, I’d be tempted to opt for fire hoses or sausage canons—or maybe even some Barry Manilow piped in over a loudspeaker system if things get really desperate.
After all, we wouldn’t want a radioactive Kent State. Or another Neil Young song, for that matter.
And besides, I’m a compassionate conservative. And these days, its all about wooing the newbies.
Instead of “revving his engine menacingly”, the FBI agent should have just rolled down the window and tossed out a few ham steaks. That would have gotten them away from his car.
After all, we wouldn’t want a radioactive Kent State.
Says you.
Go Huskies!
“Sausage canons”? Are those related to the Rules of Ham?
Regarding the allegations that an FBI agent endangered a student, Eimiller said, “The fair thing to do is to let the cops investigate it.” She added that a student threw a cinderblock at the agent.
Just peaceful demonstrators, exercising their 1st Amendment right to, uh, hurl stones at law enforcement. I’m sure the FBI agent had it coming, the dirty engine-revver. Obviously these people are angels (or the appropriate Islamic equivalent).
Tactical nukes might be a bit much, but tear gas & rubber bullets sound about right.
They should do like the guys in the movie PCU did, and throw ground pork at them from the rooftops.
Just remember, guys. Anybody wearing a turban has a right to stop you and ask you to identify yourself.
This situation calls for something a bit stronger than the Manilow, I’m afraid. Irvine’s not that far from Anaheim–I say put ‘em on a bus, take ‘em to Disneyland, and put ‘em on the “It’s a Small World” ride, over and over, for about a week.
Sounds like an NIU graduate…?
That’s it, now we’re going to have to make sure our concrete all contains a .1% pork base.
It will get rid of excess waste, and stop Muslims from building anything out of concrete! A brilliant plan.
Also, it will prevent tragedies like this!
tw: soviet92?
Revving engine….tossed cinderblock. Clearly a proportionate response.
Seriously, speaking of nukes, I have a question: if Islam promises its believers that they have to faithfully observe the Five Pillars (hajj, prayer, beating your wife regularly, etc) AND that it will one day triumph on earth, what happens if we nuke Mecca? I mean, really nuke it hard, like plate-of-glass, that kind of thing. Will the realization that the Fifth Pillar is no longer attainable kill off the whole stupid thing?
Or is that just me trying to wish psyops opportunities into being that will justify my lust for genocide?
I’ve always been a fan of rendered pork fat in a Super Soaker, but that’s just me. Plus, the smell of bacon would send people packing to the cafeteria!
“Hey Achmed! Say hello to my little friend!”
TW: ready15, aim, FIRE!
Mmmmmmmm, bacon.
Well, you know, bacon is really the most beautiful thing, because when you go to eat it you have too cook it, of course, and it magically produces its own cooking oil in the process! Clearly this byproduct of the wonderful process known as ‘cooking the bacon’ has other uses.
Me? Fill a cauldron with the stuff and rig it to the roof. We’ll see what terrorists get in MY house.
Drop the burning oil!
Guys name was Achmed
Sounds too unreal. But I have a friend who lives by that campus. He states the muslims that attend the school are pretty radical, maybe second generation,but always the antagonists….I like the idea of the sausage cannon…
“Bacon is God’s candy.”
Actual quote, from a former co-worker.
Oh, God, anything but that. PLEASE!!! Dhimmification begins to look good in that light.
On a slightly more serious note…….
Excuse me? Did not those Muslims commit a crime? A felony, maybe, with assault? A misdemeanor for damaging property? You’d think that the FBI agent could file a complaint. “Investigating” in this context is doublespeak for “wait a while and then lose the paperwork”.
If I threw a brick at a car, I’d be handcuffed faster than you could say ”Allah Akbar!”
CAIR issued a statement today indicating that the rendering of pork fat, revving of engines, and use of bacon (in any form) is an affront to Allah, and will not be tolerated in this tolerant society.
In related news, the local police cautioned against the use of pork fat and bacon, indicating their concern of a stampede by the likes of Oliver Willis, Sally Struthers, and Michael Moore.
Bacon, my ass.
Set up a large portable cooker and toss on the chitlins! I’ve seen crows drop dead out of the sky from the fumes. And you can wear them around your neck like a garland, too.
Wow, someone got it.
BECAUSE OF THE PROSCIUTTO !
If I were the fed, I’d give Achmed the bird.
How about a Tactical Thermo-Porklear Device?
As I’ve said before – they can have my BLT – when they pry it from my cold dead fingers!
All hail the MAC. Word on the street is that I went to Law School there… after two degrees from U of IL, quite the letdown, the Little Red Schoolhouse on the Prairie was, I tells ya.
Another example of the mindless bigotry and hate. Why can’t people understand the greater nature of these injustices. Oh, you conservitives might laugh but this type egregious physical intimidation and abuse has gon on too long. Why must the innocent cinder blocks suffer? Why?!
WON’T SOMEBODY THING OF THE CINDER BLOCKS!!!
Revving your engine “in a racist manner” is good for two nights in jail in the UK.
What do you want to bet that the “victim” in this case knows all about the UK incident and decided to see if the theory would fly on this side of the pond?