Plot Summary: “Oops. Nevermind. Just found her head in the freezer, wrapped in some butcher paper and tucked inside a plastic Target bag.
“Must have forgotten to take my Haloperidol again. Which, if the last time is any indication, means that poor Susan likely looked for all the world to me like some giant evil chicken come to pilfer my emergency stash of Del Monte creamed corn, then dig out my entrails with its giant, mud-crusted evil chicken beak. Leaving me no choice but to defend myself with a cordless reciprocating saw.
“My bad!”
[courtroom “dramedy” / asylum hijinks. PG, psychosexual allusions, brief nudity, profanity, bugs]
Wait a minute, now. She suffered post-partum depression and then was blown shit by that dianetics sofa-jumper guy.
You cad.
The Hollywood defense is now “She came to my house to commit suicide with my gun.”
Cause of Death: sudden contusion
TW: feeling 86
You don’t say.
Maybe you could have unexpected houseguests, and desperately defrost Susan.
Desperately defrost deep-frozen Susan.
TW: stock44
No, no time for reducing
SOunds great….except for the bugs.
psychosexual allusions… true dat…
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“Desperately Freezing Susan”
Written by Jeff Goldstein and the late Hunter S. Thompson
Directed by Tobe Hooper
Produced by Phil Spector
Starring: ????
Hey, I’ve done the heavy lifting, that’s the fun part. Have at it!
I’d watch it.
/Now that spectatorship has been reclaimed for the feminine sphere. Phew!
If I go all auteur, I’d direct it by filming the entire movie as reflected in the dark lens blocking the male, long-lensed camera from probing the female gaze.
Oh. And I’d use that nifty Sens-o-Round!
So you say you sawed Susan before you sought her?
Am I the only one detecting a theme?
…yeah, probably.
Didn’t he produce O.J. Simpson and Robert Blake’s duet of “When a Man Loves a Woman”…?
I think that Sanjaya guy should play the Rosanna Arquette role.
Madona’s role? I dunno. Maybe Jude Law?
Bugs? Yech…
Other than that, it sounds fine.
…
But maybe we could work in a hockey mask?
mud bugs?
Who ya gonna get to re-create the scene where Jamie Lee Curtis shows off her awesome tits?
How strange is that. Jamie Lee’s tits are in my freezer. Want half-a-one?
Wouldn’t the Arquette character’s sister find you out after a series of mysterious dreamlike visions? And would women see the movie to fawn over her husband?
You just might get a greenlight then.
Psychosexual?? Dunosexual actually
Yep
Those Target bags are darn useful.
Any recommended brands of reciprocating saws?
The Dewalt might cut better, but the Milwaukee red would hide the blood. So many choices.
The revenge flick could be called La Femme Makita.