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9 provisions stricken from the House bill making gasoline ‘price gouging’ a crime

  1. “Oh.  And everybody gets free cable, too.”
  2. “Replace the phallocentric-sounding ‘gouging’ with the more gender-neutral ‘rubbing.’”
  3. “Free Mumia!”
  4. “$1.49 for a Snicker’s Bar, eh?  Well, how you like us now, Conoco ‘convenience’ store?”
  5. “And of course, by forcing lower gas prices, we’ve made it easier for Bushco to BRING THE TROOPS HOW NOW!”
  6. “The Man is going to be walking funny for a week after this one, you can bet your ass on that…”
  7. “We furthermore declare that those caught price gouging while listening to anything by Phillips Craig and Dean be doubly prosecuted, both for ‘gouging’ and under federal hate crime statutes.”
  8. “And here you thought we all hated Bill O’Reilly.”
  9. “Is that a vaguely worded, yet heavily-regulated pump restriction in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?”*

33 Replies to “9 provisions stricken from the House bill making gasoline ‘price gouging’ a crime”

  1. dicentra says:

    And they’re going to prosecute the Saudis how?

  2. Andrew says:

    The Federal Price Gouging Protection Act calls for stiff penalties against oil companies, traders or retail operators if they take “unfair advantage” or charge “unconscionably excessive” prices for gasoline or heating fuel.

    How exactly is one to take fair advantage of the high cost of extracting and refining petroleum products?

    Does dinner and a movie count?

  3. Farmer Joe says:

    Oh great. I should just buy a fuckton of 5 gallon cans right now, shouldn’t I?

  4. Dan Collins says:

    Yeah, that’s good.

    Chinese are left the Sudan, because they don’t care about Darfur.

    Venezuela and Iran don’t want to deal with us.

    Scoot out of Iraq so that the mullahs can move in.

    Prevent drilling in Alaska.  Prevent drilling in the Gulf.

    Depend on Putin to make sure we get what we need.

    It all makes sense.

  5. dicentra says:

    Of course, we get most of our imported oil from Canada. So you know whom to blame…

  6. Diana says:

    You imported Celine Dion … for which we’re very grateful.

  7. JHoward says:

    The Democrat Congress.  Because nobody should earn nine cents a gallon.

  8. Al Maviva says:

    Hey, I’m all for this law, as long as we can prosecute, and perhaps summarily execute the sonsabitches who are gouging us.

    The oil companies typically have a 3% profit rate – that’s around 9 cents on the gallon right now. My state legislature has a longstanding 25 cents per gallon tax.  The federal taxes on gas, levied by Congress, are at least 18.5 cents per gallon; this doesn’t count other taxes imposed at other stages of the refining process. My locality also has a 6% or 7% sales tax on gas, which raises the price another 20 cents per gallon, and they divvy the vigorish on that between the municipality, county, and state. That’s 63 cents per gallon, before taking into account other, well-hidden taxes on gas.

    So yeah, I’m all about ending this gouging… as long as we prosecute the shit out of the biggest offenders first.

  9. JHoward says:

    Of course, we get most of our imported oil from Canada.

    Oh, the irony.  That sound you hear are socialists on both sides of the border shouting to the other side to just shut up about all this. 

    Actual functional minds might be listening.

  10. Major John says:

    Even if approved, the impact of the legislation is uncertain. The biggest question is how price gouging would be defined. Cantwell acknowledged that problem but said the first step was to get criminal penalties on the books.

    I know Senator Cantwell is not noted for legislative brilliance – but this is ignorance to the nth power.  Put a law on the books making something “criminal” – without defining the act being proscribed?! 

    Chief Justice Holmes’ grave must be registering 2000 RPM. Somewhere the ghost of Learned Hand weeps.

    I am going to go home from work and tapdance on my Juris Doctor.

  11. Major John says:

    Oh, and BTW – #4 did make me smile.

  12. mojo says:

    Compriya!

    (That’s for the SG1 geeks…)

  13. DrSteve says:

    Anyone see what ethanol prices did last summer?  Lordy.

    As we add more oxygenators it’s not just the price per barrel of oil that we have to watch, is all I’m saying.

    And with all due respect for Major John, shouldn’t we do something about the exorbitant hourly rates of attorneys in this country?  Like, say, capping rates (or salary equivalents) at $50 per hour?  People have rights to protect, you know!

  14. Al Maviva says:

    I am going to go home from work and tapdance on my Juris Doctor.

    Don’t do that, Major John.  It only encourages him.

  15. B Moe says:

    I say we nationalize the peroleum industry and start giving away gasoline.  That will lower the cost, by God.

    What?  It only works for health care?  The hell you say!

  16. B Moe says:

    And the petroleum industry, we should nationalize that too.

  17. The Deacon says:

    We can nationalize the oil industry and subsidize cheap gas and then our economy will be as robust as Iran! Oh wait a minute…

    Also, this morning I heard someone on the radio blaming Big Oil for not opening any new refineries in the past 25 or so years. It never occured to him that it might not be their fault for this, that maybe it had to do with enviromentalists blocking every propsal they put forth. I mean what refiner wouldn’t want to build more plants with demand so high and growing? Or the fact the so much of the nation’s proven reserves are off-limits as well?

    I think if she wants to truly make this bill effective she’s going to have to outlaw the teaching of the laws of supply and demand

  18. Major John says:

    Dr. Steve – I came in from the cold.  Now I just hire, fire and use lawyers.  If the members of the bar cut their rates, the world-crushing-Swiss-Insurance-behemoth I work for would be well pleased.

  19. Rob B. says:

    Also, this morning I heard someone on the radio blaming Big Oil for not opening any new refineries in the past 25 or so years. It never occured to him that it might not be their fault for this, that maybe it had to do with enviromentalists blocking every propsal they put forth. I mean what refiner wouldn’t want to build more plants with demand so high and growing? Or the fact the so much of the nation’s proven reserves are off-limits as well?

    The concept your talking about is called “NIMBY” by us evil oil types. It stands for what the enviros say when we want to drill or build a plant or put in a pipeline. They always say “Not in my back yard.”

    Of course in LA they just disguise the rigs as an Island.

    By the way the process to start the permitting, not anything else just the permitting the government requires, for a new refinery is over 1 million bucks because of the enviromental restrictions.

  20. Patrick says:

    most of our imported oil from Canada

    Don’t forget Mexico!  Must be part of the immigration “reform” move.

  21. N. O'Brain says:

    Wait a minute!

    Didn’t the Dimocrats want to RAISE TAXES on a gallon of gas to make it more expense?

    My head is spinning.

  22. mojo says:

    Que Miss Emily:

    “What’s all this I hear about nationalizing the Petrolatum industry?…”

  23. McGehee says:

    Chief Justice Holmes’ grave must be registering 2000 RPM.

    Well, somebody hook that fool up to a generator!

  24. McGehee says:

    My head is spinning.

    Okay, let’s order up another generator for Mr. O’Brain. Anyone else?

  25. Andrew says:

    corporations bad. government good.

    except when government bad. but corporations still bad.

    except when corporations sell us movies, music and books. then they good.

    except when foreigners not like them, or people in farmy lands like them. then they bad again.

    me has gone cross-eyed.

  26. Rob B. says:

    I understand a lot of people have a problem understanding the issues of petroleum pricing, supply and demand, consumption rates and production rates but I have good news.

    It makes a lot more sense once you realize that we’re in the Matrix and you are the One. So follow the white rabbit…

    (Quick, while the liberals are out clubbing and looking for Trinity, this years Conservitive Oilmans Ball theme is going to be “Carbon Footprint-a-go-go.” Be sure to bring your on “blow out preventers” incase you win the raffle to drill Miss ANWR.)

  27. B Moe says:

    It was rather humorous this afternoon sitting there in the gridlock listening to a news report about gas gouging in between traffic reports on the radio.

  28. Swen Swenson says:

    So.. that “war for oil” thingy is working out really well, isn’t it?

  29. Rob Crawford says:

    Compriya!

    (That’s for the SG1 geeks…)

    Wasn’t that the line of the single most annoying character ever on SG-1? Now, that might not sound impressive, but the second most annoying was played by Dom Deluise.

  30. MayBee says:

    or charge “unconscionably excessive” prices for gasoline or heating fuel.

    Can Patrick Kennedy and Charles Rangel be charged for providing “unconscionably low” prices on heating oil from Chavez?

  31. moflicky says:

    dammit! if anyone’s going to gouge the consumer, it’s gonna be us!  carbon tax anyone?

  32. Sean M. says:

    So, does this mean they’ll be going after the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection?  Because, really, that would sit well with me.

  33. Phinn says:

    Price-fixing this week = shortages next week. 

    Look at it this way: Unlike the 1970s during the gas shortages that Carter inflicted on us, this time, while everybody is waiting in long lines at gas stations, people will have iPods, cell phones and PlayStation Portables to help them pass the time!

Comments are closed.