Fat man walks into a Subway sandwich shop, armed to the teeth, strapped with body armor, and looking for that “lying Jared asshole.”
“Uh, he’s not here,” says the assistant manager from his crouch behind the sneeze guard.
— Then, thinking quickly, he adds, “You might try Quizno’s, though. And if it were me, I wouldn’t take any chances. I hear that lying asshole likes to go there in disguise.”
You find those sammich pimps’ adverts annoying, too?
Make him a sandwich with old mayonnaise and throw in some pepper seeds…. disable the bastard.
(the real story behind the weight loss is the ingredients)
Ya just gotta stir the pot! Trying to get us fat jihadist wannabes on the march, huh? Won’t work. We’re fat and lazy. Won’t march far and won’t do much damage when/if we get there.
though really, what should we expect from a porn dealer?
Early media reports have dubbed the man “The Trans-Fat Terrorist.”
Are you kidding? Wedge yourself into one of those booths of theirs and you’ll shut the place down for weeks.
Not that I’m…
speaking from experience or anything…
I guess that makes 8 million and one stories then. I liked this from the comments at Maggie’s link…
Every time I see Jared I reach for a Double Bacon Cheeseburger. While I still can.
good find, maggie.
So Jared’s dormroom was the naked city.
I am a 77 year old WASP who is also prozionist. I thought your story about your brush with the White Right was hilarious. As Dave Barry would say: “You are not making this up?”. The self characture of those personal ads are more like a self parody than reality. It is hard to believe such people actually exist and I consider many fellow rednecks to be some of my best friends. Cordially: Gator52
Wait a minute! Jared… Fared… Yes! Suddenly it all makes sense! GOOGLE IT, PEOPLE!
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