If the car is a projection of the penis, would you prefer a man who drives a Toyota Landcruiser or, say, a Cooper Mini? Theoretically speaking.
And what do you make of Ed Begley, Jr’s incessant proselytizing for the whole electric package? Is there such thing as “Tesla envy”?
Sorry, but these kinds of things keeps me up at night.
Little Pink Ghosts! <big surprise>
Like Ed Begley Jr or not (he was very funny in “A mighty wind”) and agree or disagree with his politics, he has been living this energy conservation thing for the past 30 years or so. I would be shocked if he was flying around in private jets like some people in Hollywood I could name.
1. Mini Cooper.
2. Ed Begley, Jr. I enjoy his tv show. His website also has some useful info in it. He is one of the very few “Hollywood” types that I believe is sincere in adhering to his principles. That said, my reason for wanting to conserve/recycle/etc. is not so much to ‘save the planet for the children’ as it is to try to save as much of my money as possible by not paying huge bills for natural gas/gasoline/electricity.
I know there was no #3, but if there was a #3, it would have said, “Did you see the call-out Chris Muir made to Protein Wisdom in his daily comic strip?
3. Yes, Jeff, I did see that (thanks to Maggie Katzen).
Out here in the far exurbs of NYC, it is folk wisdom that the size of a man’s penis is inversely related to the size of the car he drives, unless he’s in the dry wall or road paving business. Just FYI.
He was even funnier as the kindly but much-put-upon hotel manager in “Best in Show,” which still seems like the funniest of Guest’s movies, to me.
I like the old Edwardian music hall gag: “He has big hands and big feet, and ladies, you know what that means: big gloves and big shoes!”
I don’t really like Ed Begley Jr., and I don’t agree with his politics (or his scientific creds). But yes, he’s the only enviro-nut I’ve seen who is “spreading the word”; while having a smaller carbon footprint than an average family.
John Kerry, Laurie David, Sheryl Crow, Al Gore, these people and others hurt their side with their hypocrasy more than they help with their proselytizing. If any one of them had a smaller carbon footprint than the city block I live on, I might listen to them.
Seriously, it’s like a fat guy with a cheeseburger in each hand telling me I need to lose weight or die of a heart attack. How can I take you seriously when you obviously don’t take youself seriously?
F Ed Begley
Cars. Penises.
Hmm. I think the feministas’ favorite model would be self-parking. Just point and park: convenience and satisfaction with zero demands.
The upholstery? I have to think about it a bit more.
It would start running when they turn the key, but it would take awhile to warm up.
Is there a gun in the car?…
Truck size and penis size are definitely not correlated (directly or inversely). However, this thing is cool. (4 separate links)
TW- Longer59. Don’t I know it.
As Guy Clark sings: “They say the difference between men and boys is the size of their feet and the price of their toys.”
I’ve never preferred a man, period. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I hadn’t thought about this. My husband drives a little sporty convertible with turbo to get you where you’re going fast. I’m not going to think about what that says about him – except that he’s been stuck in a midlife crisis since he was 24.
“Armchair Freudians?”
Are there any other kind?
I know a way that we can offset the stupidity of the Begley crowd in such a manner that they may end up spontaneously combusting or something-
Carbon Credit Killers!
Reducing the threat of Carbon Credits one Debit (and one tree) at a time!
I think this is the reason the internet was invented.
WWJHD – What Would John Holmes Drive?
Hmmmm.
So. Does this mean I should leave my mint condition M1-A1 Abrams in the garage?
Just don’t use it to block the fast lane. And don’t put on makeup or chat on the cellphone or drive under the speed limit or tailgate or change lanes without signaling and all will be well.
This gives a new dimension of meaning to fender bender.
And head-on crash.
And burning rubber.
And just for history’s sake, Tesla was a firm advocate of AC as opposed to DC. Very unlike Edison.
They keep you “up”?
Jerry Falwell’s dead.
*******
Meh.
I always thought autoeroticism referred to something else.
“Tesla envy�
Shocking!
Polls show that 60% of establishment feminists and/or armchair Freudians think that perfecting electric cars is too hard, and further is a waste of American resources that would be better spent on endowing Wimmyns Studies and Psychology scholarships.
A similar 60% said that Ed Begley, Jr. would be more convincing if he had a silky mane.
So where does my 25 yr old Mercedes “S” class sedan fit in?
I don’t know about cars, but I do have to admit that whenever I see a guy on a Honda Valkyrie (a motorcycle with a 6 cylinder 1.8 liter engine) I do tend to think, “Nice bike. Shame about your dick.”
I wants me one of them things.
Both of your options are imports. That can’t be right.
What about 747 pilots, then? A stretch Hummer limo is a flea compared to that…
Hmmmm.
AND they come with their own hookup options.
I don’t see no flight attendants in no Tesla.
747! Da Winna!!
Hey, the Tesla roadster is a pretty decent ride, although at my age, owning one would scream “giant mid-life crisis coming through, make way!”
However, if the technology works in a decent sedan, and the electricity that powers it is derived from a nuclear plant? Hell, I’m up for anything that keeps my own bucks out of the pockets of Hugo Chavez and Sheik Yerboutti.
(Yes, yes, I know, oil is fungible, what we don’t buy, someone else will… I still would like the option not to send my cash to these vermin.)
Let me preface this by saying that I am 6’ 3” and weight about 240. That puts my car into perspective.
I have asked this very question for a while. The women I know all point at men driving Hummers and sports cars and say that he is obviously “overcompensating”. I usually come right back and ask, “Then how come when you see me pull up in my Toyota Echo no one ever says, ‘He must be hung like a horse’?”
For some reason, they never have a good answer for that.
I have the same reaction to Corvettes.
Robin Roberts: Those old Mercedes are cool. Such presence. Over-engineered, maybe a little bit stodgy, but definitely commanding. Our 1980 450SL still draws stares.
So, Frank, what does “know” mean there?
Tsk, tsk, Farmer Joe. I sense a Harley driver. Maybe the Valk riders just like the bone crushing acceleration.
Dan, why did my lips curl up and I was hoping “in bed with a dead, under aged, male hooker” was somewhere in that announcement.
Okay, so I’m going to hell. I’ll be around a more interesting group of people.
BMW, actually. Ask a K1200S owner about acceleration.
Nobly done Mr. Joe. BMW’s are great bikes, hope you enjoy yours as much as I enjoy my Valk.
Ride safe!
I always wanted to drive around in a Caterpillar wheeled loader, tho – because the Israeli-tuned D10’s are too slow for a big night out. What does it say about me?
Yes, yes, I know, oil is fungible, what we don’t buy, someone else will…
Until nukes and Teslas catch on world-wide, and then we’re back to a giant sandbox with useless black stuff under it.
Okay, so I’m going to hell. I’ll be around a more interesting group of people.
Um, RC, what that means is that either you’ll be one of the 72 virgins for some half-wit splodeydope or dinner companion to Michael Moore, after his coronary.
Jim in KC: “Robin Roberts: Those old Mercedes are cool. Such presence. Over-engineered, maybe a little bit stodgy, but definitely commanding. “
Exactly, its “me”.
One word, “Unimog”. Just ‘cause they’re cool, not , like, ya know, ‘cause I need a dick extender or anything.
AC/DC and Bon Scott are going to be in hell too. any newcomer has to bring plenty of Foster’s and the party is assured.
…or, he’s tired of having to flop his schlong through the sunroof to drive his Mini.
Thanks. I didn’t mean to offend. I realize my reaction to the Valk is purely based on its size. Hondas are great bikes. Just huge.
The main advantages of the Valkyrie over the BMW are the Valkyrie doesn’t go out of tune, vibrate, break down, cost twice what it is worth, suffer from shaft drive torque reaction or carry a badge that says “look at me, I’m a sophisticate”.
What either says about the size of your dick is a mystery.
I’ve always preferred to go straight to the source, by means of the wandering glance around the room that takes in the local scenery. It’s always provided what I take to be accurate information and I’ve never had to do a double-take, except once when the guy’s jeans were so tight that I could tell not just which side he preferred but whether he was circumcised.
<shudder> Too much information, for that particular guy.
I’m happy to keep the clothes a bit baggy just to add to the mystery.
So how did Jeff know I own a MINI Cooper?
No, really. But I don’t want to brag.
Hey, come on. I made nice already. I doubt my 25 year old R100 gives me much “sophisticate” or rich guy cred.
I could point out a number of economic and technological problems with your statement, but really I don’t like getting into pissing contests. I like Hondas. I really do. If I were going to get a cruiser, the Shadow would be very high on the list. If I were going to get a serious touring bike it would be a VERY close race between the BMW R1200RT and the Honda ST1300.
Sorry- posted before you made nice; all bikes are fun- I looked on my Valkyrie as a sort of 2 wheeled Bentley and it gave me 8 years of immense pleasure. Did nothing for the size of my dick, though..
Try rubbing it.
The chrome peels off if you do that
I agree. I really try as hard as I can not to be a brand snob. I have friends who ride all kinds. New and vintage Beemers, Triumphs, Guzzis, Rice Rockets, Cruisers (American and Metric), etc, etc.
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