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My eighteenth brief conversation with ghost of John Merrick

Merrick: “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!”

Me:  “Of course not.  Spuds MacKenzie—now there was an animal!”

Merrick:  “– I AM A HUMAN BEING!”

Me: “Maybe so.  But Spuds spent his entire life doing promotional wet t-shirt contests in Ft Lauderdale, while you limped around Victorian England with a saliva-soaked burlap sack covering your dome.  So let’s not go getting all judgmental, is all I’m saying…”

10 Replies to “My eighteenth brief conversation with ghost of John Merrick”

  1. happyfeet says:

    You attempt to shoehorn John Merrick into a rigid little narrative about “judgmentalism” even though the fit is so bad.

    I would like to speak to the manager, please.

  2. Mikey NTH says:

    Ah, Spuds.  Now there was a true party animal!

  3. Tai Chi Wawa says:

    “Spuds” was a bitch. True.

  4. mojo says:

    Well, technically John, you’re neither an animal nor a human being. A ghost is more a phantasm, a burbling cloud of paranormal procrustean overstay.

    So, get over yourself, huh?

  5. No one drives me more to Wikipedia so I can understand what I read more than you.

  6. timmyb says:

    You went to Wikipedia for Spuds McKenzie? void(0);

    wink

  7. ken says:

    Heard Mr. Young sang about Spuds.

    You, on the other hand have Buckethead, Mastodon, and Michael Jackson in your corner. I’ll take ol’ Neil anytime…

  8. Chomsky in a time of syntactic striptease. says:

    If only Buckethead were available for some KFC ads featuring the new, “improved” Spuds.

  9. fool says:

    I never got the whole “Lassie was really a boy while ‘Spuds’ was really a girl” dichotomy.Or maybe it was a dialectic. I always get those two mixed up.

  10. fool says:

    a burbling cloud of paranormal procrustean overstay.

    “Procrustean?” Or “Protean?”

    I always get those two mixed up.

Comments are closed.