Thanks to a story by Marc Fisher in the WaPo, I am able to state definitively why the VaTech shooter went on his rampage.
You may recall that among the significant details about Cho’s family that were revealed to us by the legacy media, we found that his family live in an off-white two-story house in the DC suburbs. Further, we discovered that his parents own a dry-cleaning business and are of Korean rather than Chinese origin, but that nevertheless their son was inscrutable.
Now comes word that DC Administrative Law Judge Roy Pearson is suing a dry-cleaning establishment owned by Koreans for (place pinky beside lips in Dr. Evil fashion) 65 MILLION DOLLARS. I put it you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that the implication that an attorney might somehow suffer 65 million dollars of pain and suffering for the accidental loss of a pair of trousers (he was offered 12k, but that didn’t come close) convinced Cho that the world was so saturated with woe that it was actually merciful to dispatch so many of his fellow students.
That’s my story. What? It’s ludicrous? Well it makes a lot more sense than this asshole’s lawsuit.
OK, it finally came to pass – a civil lawsuit that actually gob-smacks me. And I have been a member of the IL bar since 1994…
If I were the judge, I’d order him his pants back, now that they are found, and then I would wish him GOOD DAY, SIR! That, or I would hit him over the head with my gavel.
And as regards the harrassment and legal expenses the defendants have suffered, Major John?
I’m with Major John on this one.
and Dan – the punishment for the harrassment inflicted is for the lawyer to be flung into the pit of the rabid weasels.
I like the way you punish,
DanteMikey.Boy, does that make my head hurt.
I say we get Major John a spot on the bench and get him a full scale replica of Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.
Why would that be punishment? The guy obviously is a rabid weasel.
I’d sentence him to 12-hour shifts 7 days a week running the pressing machine at the dry cleaner’s during the months of July and August.
At least he didn’t call him “articulate” or “nappy-headed”.
So, why can an atty/judge pursue something this stupid for so long with no fear of punitive damages? Are there no laws on frivilous lawsuits present in DC?
Personally, I think John Edwards may have found himself a good running mate.
The Silky-Trousers Pony?
You ever try to make billable hours off of a rabid weasel, SJY?
Mikey—jaysus, bo’, why would you do that to weasels?
If ‘this asshole’,
, sues you for characterizing him as an ‘asshole’, Dan, I would humbly ask to be joined in the suit.
Any publisher worth his salt would offer us up to $ several billion for our memoirs.
Sanctions would be appropriate – I think the judge has hinted at this when he used the “a” word (abuse). Will be interesting to see what happens…
Thanks for brightening my day, too, Dan.
Of course, furriskey! Everyone who comments here will be named as a defendant.
The only weakness in your argument is that Cho was an English major. He must have read Shakespeare. Yet, to the best of my knowledge, not one lawyer was killed in his rampage. Wouldn’t he have had more success against his and his people’s tormentors if he had hit a convention of the Trial Lawyers Association?
Well, of course Pearson’s not going to take his pants back now. They probably don’t fit anymore, and so he’s been deprived of pantal priveledge for the better part of a decade.
Or however long it is pants are supposed to last, these days.
strike priveledge; replace with consortium.
pantal consortium – I’ll have to check a copy of Black’s Law Dictionary for that. Say, if it isn’t in there, lets get Slart some credit for creating a new legal term!
Power corrupts, and absolute power is even more of a boner-aid.
Major John–
The strange thing is, if he had the pants, he wouldn’t have had a suit.
But he would still be able to claim out of pocket expenses.
Um, no thanks. I’ll just have water.
That made me laugh out loud, thanks.
On the other hand, I’m laughing out loud quite a lot today. Going coast-to-coast (almost) and back in 24 hours (literally: left at 6am, got back at 6am) can tend to induce some wear and tear on the senses.
Anyway, thanks, even if I don’t see the humor tomorrow.
Absolute fact – any man who threatens anyone with this much “firepower” and overreaction is compensating big time. He must have the world’s smallest penis. Like Guiness Book of World Records tiny. And every woman who knows him is thinking that and laughing behind his back or cracking jokes with his ex-wife if he’s got one.
Guys like that are always underblessed and lousy lays.
Wouldn’t it be great if this were the case that led us to abolish the American rule?
From looking at the symoblism in his manifesto, I believe that Cho thought he was slaying Lucifer.