Today’s topics: how the US military is stocked with a bunch of intellectual midgets and would-be felons who, sadly, had no other life choices but to live and die as Uncle Sam’s war puppets; how Bush went to war for BIG OIL; how terms like “terrorist” and “cell” are merely shock words meant to “scare” us (unlike, say, “fascist” or “oil baron” or “neocon conspiracy”—which are merely descriptions of the regime that is hoping to “shred the Constitution”); and finally—and this is the kicker—how terrorists are mothers and fathers, too, just like us!
Well, not like us completely, perhaps—after all, I’m not sure where al-Qaeda stands on gluttonous, limousine liberal lesbians adopting children or publicly mouthing off on politics and smelting without first having been circumcised, beaten, then rolled in burlap like a giant, weepy sapling—but you get the idea.
Terrorists have feelings, too, is how the argument goes. They have thoughts and dreams and plans…
Of course, that those thoughts are of blowing up as many Westerners as they can in order to secure an invitation to a heavenly cherry-popping orgy doesn’t seem to make it past Rosie’s outward bulk and into her brain—nor would it matter much if it did. Because to Rosie—and to the loudmouthed preening emoters she echoes and represents—the point is simply this: tetrrorists are people too. People with children.
Which, I suppose, gives them license to blow up our children whenever they can manage it. Because of the symmetry.
My, how dank must be the shag in her hateful little world.
Still, the fact that sponsors and affiliates aren’t dropping “The View” like Eric Alterman drops celebrity names is a sad commentary on where this country is today—on the verge of surrendering its principles for the ability to pretend that a problem unacknowledged is a problem that doesn’t, in fact, exist.
Maybe a yeast infection has migrated to her brain.
This goes in the “greatest hits” archive.
Actually, I have a confession to make. I, too, am a Bushian oil baron.
I’m embarrassed to admit there are about a dozen (OK, there might even be more) shallow wells in New Mexico with my family’s sir name attached to the oil jacks.
This confession has lifted a thousand barrels of guilt-monkeys off my back.
I ask for forgiveness. Just realize that I never asked to be an oily, crude, Bushian oil baron. Cursed are great, great grandparents! Cursed are family trust funds.
Anyone have a oil baron crisis hotline number?
If I could channel my rants into something this poetic, I’d be, well…a poetic ranter, I guess.
Priceless. I’m glad she’s going, not that it’ll make a difference. ABC will find some new loon to take her place, further dumbing down an audience that is several steps below Bill Maher’s in drooling useful idiocy.
Still, from now until the actual date she leaves the show, expect even more verbal turds in your drink like this one, if not worse.
I find Rosie’s apparent popularity depressing. Aggressive ignorance and beligerent posturing have always had fans in a certain segment of the population, but I had hoped that they would confine themselves to “Jerry Springer” and not take an interest in politics.
Overdose in 4…3…2…
I feel good that Rosie is defending the Constitution. I sleep easy at night, knowing only reason Rosie would ever allow the constitution to be shredded, is if it was made out of beef and could be made into tacos. Mmmmmmmmmm… Constitution tacos.
Oh, Thor. You’ve come to the right place. Now, I have here some guilt offsets that I’ll sell to you. Cheap!
Great piece, Jeff!
Let’s take a break from bludgeoning the keg of goo that is Rosie O’Dumass and turn our attention to the “serious journalist.”
What in the hell is Barbara Walters doing?
Does she have any ounce of insight left that would allow her to see the slow, steady liquifying of her journalistic credibility? More than Rosie O’Bombast, Walter’s continued silence during the show makes me want to strangle a small animal. Has she truly fallen so far that her focus is on Springer like trash info, leaving behind a reasonably prestigious career as a Media journalist? (Barbara Walters Pre-Oscar Specials beside.)
Rosie O’Boom-Boom has always been an obnoxious, clueless loudmouth. She’s a friggin’ comediene, after all, not some doyen of political deep think. That a supposed journalist sits through these mindless rants and offers no sage comments or piercing questions is mind numbing. What self respecting reporter would give her the time of day? I’m not accepting the “it’s not a news show” idea either. Jeez, grow a pair fer cryin’ out loud.
Or maybe I’m too naive to see the “money talks” aspect of this farce in four acts.
Somewhere, Orianna Fallaci is weeps quietly…
Hark, thee fustian dank shaggeth bewrays a fleshful dread.
As is my college short story teacher…
I don’t buy from guilt barons. Don’t ask why.
I’ll turn off Bill Maher as soon as your show gets picked up, Cjd. So…when is that gonna be again…oh never…really…too bad!
I sense a theme here—perhaps she’d prefer to be rolled in cornmeal instead of burlap, sprinkled with shredded Constitution, then fried to a crispy golden brown?
Her new, post-View gig could be a cooking show: Cooking with Rosie . . . Literally!
cjd invokes the drooling useful idiot, and he obediently responds.
How does one train them, cjd? They never listen to me.
It’s because we aren’t attracted to people who smell like they just had sex with their own mothers.
Proof again that the ‘tolerant’ left really isn’t interested in anything other than insulting “THOSE EEEVIL CHRISTIAN RIGHTIES”
It is amazing that “The View’ has such good ratings, but just wait until tornado season, all the doublewides will be rocked off their foundation and her numbers will drop once again….
650,000 Iraqis killed by…whom??? Those ghostly little phantom terrorists I guess.
I see, by having children they earn child killing offsets. Now that I know that, I’m no longer upset at the terrorists.
Well, the average intelligence and education level is higher for the military than the civilian population, so the rest of the rant is probably equally credible.
Look at the bright side. If we lose, the jihadis will comandeer a circus tent for her burqua.
tj anti-whatever
You really should get that boil lancet.
Kiss your mother with that mouth?
Sticks and stones, phelator, sticks and stones. Have you anything to offer concerning the topic at hand, or are you just bucking to join your brethren in the abyss?
Question for our 2 trolls:
Does fire melt steel?
Don’t hurry…
Don’t remember where I first heard the line (some comic strip), but always loved “Ignorance is not a point of view.”
Aggressive ignorance and beligerent posturing have always had fans in a certain segment of the population, but I had hoped that they would confine themselves to “Jerry Springer†and not take an interest in politics.
No such luck. And they will be voting for Hillary. So be afraid.
I don’t know said this, but I agree:
“You are entitled to your own opinions, you are not entitled to your own facts”
Bush has usrped the laws of physics. Fire can now melt steel! 9/11 was much worse that we thought. The universe itself cried out and submitted to Bushco.
Apologies to TJ who is most definitely not a troll. My sarcasm radar must be on the fritz again and I recognize that I greviously insulted you by lumping you in with “sex with their mothers” troll.
I shall now fall upon a hank of brisket in an attempt to … um … ah … regain my honor…yea …
Rose O’Donnell is a very important figure in Democratic politics.
You’re right, moops. If Rosie wasn’t mentioned here, no one in this nation would ever have even heard of the woman. And it’s not like she has a forum for airing her political views, or that she has a fan base.
The overwhelming ignorance of opinion leaders, especially but not exclusively on the Left, is indeed a problem. To this date, outright fabrications like Rosie’s opinions on the World Trade Center, Al Gore’s dishonest exaggerations about global warming and the Lancet’s fraudulent statistics on the Iraqi casualties are still being tossed around as fact by the passionately ignorant celebrity crowd.
Heat can’t melt Rosie.
heh! We can but hope…
Truthful, concise, elegant and savage.
Wow.
Who? Rosie?
Does she rivet?…
No, she ribbits…..
Like salt to a slug, Squid; they can’t help it. when their intelligence is denigrated. Anyway, it’s a true sign of how far the troll quality has fallen when they come out in defense of Rosie (or Maher). Lil’ alphoo was a treasure by comparison, at least he was entertaining on occasion, inadvertently or not.
Well, I guess I’ve been put in my place (sniff). Just make sure you get the poop out of your hair before going back to school tomorrow, it might make things a little awkward.
Equal rights? Or multiculturalism?
Gotta wonder where the sack o’ suet would come down on this video clip of a young woman being stoned.
To death.
WARNING! Very graphic.
I think that yeast infection has spread…
Witness the attempts to defend Rosie.
Oh yeah.
Witless.
Screechings.
Strap on buggery
Barbara
Fear
Ratings
fear.
ratings
Stoo
Rosie doesn’t understand that being a lesbian would get her stoned in the first place. Her carcass would provide a good amount of lamp oil though
Rosie is an idiot, but really Elizabeth isn’t to speed to challenge her, and that is sad. Perhaps that is part of Rosie’s contract – that she can’t come up against anyone that can reveal her for the idiot she is.
Of course, she does a pretty good job of it all on her own.
She’d likely have no problem with the stoning, stoo. All she would have to do is envision the woman as a…Christian.
She’s an illiterate, absurd old woman who’s well on her way to a deserved oblivion.
The actual problem is the media showing her mouth bleeding every 28 days to a wider audience.
Now on the “sex with your mother” thing, what if your mom is really h-o-t? A friend of mine wants to know.
It’s like there’s a tag team thing going on. One troll gets bounced, another slithers in.
IGNORE (Troll of the Week)
BJTEX….mmmmmm, briiiiisket…..
Once again, I feel more stupid for watching that.
Did Rosie get the turkey baster treatment or are all her kids adopted?
Is that a “uniter not a divider” statement, oh non-hypocritical ones?
Do you all wrap yourselves in your Klansheets to keep warm at night, or do the book burnings do that for you?
I know, since you are all so scared of Bin Laden, why don’t you justget the Preznit to maybe…I don’t know….catch him and quit dicking around. Maybe, ya think so huh?
‘Tis true. I hear she’s on the short list for DNC chair, along with Sean Penn. Look for one of those two to go head to head with Ted Nugent on Meet the Press in ‘08.
Hehehe… AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He says that without irony.
OHNOES, guess what…the world IS round and the Earth DOES revolve around the sun. Sure is a bummer, huh.
OHNOES FTW.
Sigh. Makes one miss Alphie, doesn’t it?
Um, Jeff, the wrapping part?
Wouldn’t that be considered, not a sapling, but pigs-in-a-blanket?
I see yer problem right here! See? Yer smug is too tight.
Roasted
brown babies
basting
depleted uranium
fizzles
juicily
warmth
radiates
no sheets
burqa?
Because of the hypocrisy
What, you got a woody for the tactics of the Democratic party?
Hey, Moops. I hear Coulter is up for RNC Chair, with Sean Hannity riding shotgun. Maybe a steel cage match is in order…?
My money is on Penn over Hannity, but Coulter takes Penn and O’Donnell, and then hits Alan Colmes—dressed up as the Grand Wizard—over the head with a steel folding chair.
Seriously…
So I’m either KKK or a book burning knuckledragger because I think Rosie is over the line?
Silly N.O. Brain. They don’t burn books, they take them out of the curriculum for being “insensitive”. Hunchback, after all, is a term that the differently abled can’t countenance. And the Old Man and the Sea? Ageist.
Don’t even get me started on what happens to you in lit class if you dare try teaching O’Connor’s “The Artificial Nigger.”
Meanwhile, I hear Robert Byrd is planning a spring white sale.
If, you know, you happen to be in the neighborhood, and happen to be in the market for sheets embroidered with celtic symbols and a bit stained with barbecue sauce.
No you are KKK and a book burning knuckledragger because you DON’T think. Perfect description of a Republican.
Odd that you think that you would be able to recognize that smell.
That probably wasn’t the point you were trying to get across71.
Oh yeah DEMS are the one banning books….where do you get your drugs…must be from a Liberal as we have the best shtuff.
Oh yeah, rethugs just ban…Science.
Sounds good, though I think Rosie’s schedule is pretty packed these days. She’s got a syndicated column to write, a news show to host, and lots of speeches to give at Democratic events. Plus I think she’s coming out with a book that is sure to be a best-seller in liberal circles.
I think Penn’s the clear winner. He’s the only one with significant punching experience.
It’s a shitty smell as you all like to give it to her in the ass…you know what shit smells like because you voted for it in 2000 and 2004. So there ya go.
Ironic that you write that as a liberal troll goes buzzing around.
Both speak volumes to the intelligence of left these day.
Well, bunson burners do look like penises. And we’re all scared of the SEX.
Really, Phelander. Have you done any research at all about the site you’re on? Any?
I think you stumbled into the wrong place.
But while you’re here, do tell us about the “Fairness Doctrine.” And then, once you’ve finished with that, do explain how “free speech zones” fit in with the concept of de facto free speech rights—then try traversing the world of identity politics, and how its underlying assumptions play to the idea of individual liberty.
Granted, that’s more challenging than throwing out ridiculous taunts that are alien to just about every reader here (can’t speak for the trolls, sadly), but it would sure help us understand where you are coming from.
Given that you haven’t taken the time to figure out who it is you’re speaking with here.
“No you are KKK and a book burning knuckledragger because you DON’T think. Perfect description of a Republican.
Posted by phelander | permalink
on 05/01 at 05:04 PM”
No no no, you microcephalic neanderthal, the Democrats are the party of slavery, secession and segragation.
Boy, talk about ignorance of history, philanderer has it in spades.
Jeff, whothefuckcares. Your smug comments about the left deserve to be plagued by a troll with too much time on his hands. Your snide little comments are no more intelligent than my adolescent taunts and fecal/sexual related idiotposts. I know what I am writing is dumb…your problem is you can’t see you are doing the same thing. So really, ban me or stfu.
plans…to duck tape explosives to their body and blow innocents up. So, in theory we’re helping them achieve part of that dream
phelander likes sandpaper snatch kate then?
How My Lesbianism Helped Me Cope in a World of Melting Steel and Fascist Theocrats who would like to Blow Up the World at the Expense of the Children.
Has Oprah Bookclub written all over it.
Oh yeah DEMS are the one banning books….where do you get your drugs…must be from a Liberal as we have the best shtuff.
Oh yeah, rethugs just ban…Science.
Posted by phelander
So. Ya got nuthin’, huh.
You mean because I don’t think like you?
It’s clear that I’ve put at least as much thought into my posts here as you have, so your quarrel is with not with my thinking, but with my conclusions.
Obviously.
Phelander is doing a fantastic job showing that projection isn’t just for movie theaters.
Fellating farm animals won’t fill the hole in your soul, phelander.
Rosie has a syndicated column?
Yesterday you emailed me crying when I banned you for posting gibberish under a host of asinine names. So I reinstated you.
Now you want me to ban you again?
Okay. Done. But no more crying, okay?
No brain….how fitting….if the Democrats acted like the Republicans of today, I’d be taking them on the same way…however they don’t. I couldn’t care less who are Rethuglicans or Demnowits. I hate hypocritical bastards like the ones that post on this site. So take your history and learn from it…maybe if you did that in the first place, you wouldn’t have supported an idiot boy president who brought us into Vietnam PART DEAUX.
Yeah I vried, Jeff. You are another lying bitch.
Just a guess, but I’d bet that philanderer’s favorite band is Rage Against My Allowance.
Wadda ya say, phil?
TW: phil ain’t getting18 any.
You only get the 72 virgins if you blow yourself up Sparky. Getting banned from a blog doesn’t count.
But thanks for making your motivation clear, as if it wasn’t already.
He cried?
I, for one, welcome our new lachrymose overlords.
Waaaaaaaahhhhhh! You banned me. You took away my free speech. Waaaaaaaaahhhh!
Snivel snivel sniff sniff.
Any future comments from this moronic fuck will be terminated with extreme prejudice.
Speaking of the politics on ignorance…don’t miss Kaplan’s…
Congressional leaders are illiterate on Iraq.
You can\’t ban worth a shit, Goldy.
I mean, you try and try…but you can\’t. I\’ll be here to wreck it indefinitely.
Jason Phelan of Nashville, TN is using proxy servers to get around being banned.
Okay, Jason.
You want to play? Let’s play.
First things first. Is it Jason M or Jason R?
Jason, your mom is going to kill you when she finds out.
…once she gets home from her “business meetings”.
Hmmm. This seems promising.
If it is indeed our troll, let me just say that he looks pretty much exactly like I thought he would.
“peeps”?
I told you he was still in school.
If he isn’t, he’s waaaay beyond pathetic.
Ooh. More.
Might not be the same guy as our troll, of course. Just speculatin’.
Rusty, on the offchance that you can, read Dianne Ravitch’s The Language Police.
And did Rosie actually finish high school? For damn sure she never went to college.
Jeff, the blog and the MySpace Jason are the same person. I noticed this picture on both sites.
“peeps”?
Oh my….
We’re gonna need a bigger boat —Ahab, CPT, Ret.
Goodness. Seems our musician/artist uses the same email address as the Jason Phelan who’s been posting here.
What’s wrong, Jason? The Nashville music scene not keeping you busy enough?
Sound a little alt-country / blues, to me. Too bad, I like that stuff, generally. But I’m going to have to skip your shows, I think.
I’m afraid you might start talking about Republican Klansmen and book burnings on stage. And I already get my sophomoric political posturings from Rosie—who, strangely, looks kinda like you!
I looked at Jason Peehandler over there on MySpace…. Oh, Jesus, what a dickhead. “Welcome Internet Predators”? So ol’ Doc Whasserface got a sex change?
Ho-ly shite:
“You banned me…what a bast(ard)ion of Free Speech yer pathetic site is.”
Content of his other posts aside, pointless nastiness aside, phelander deserves a banning just for thinking
bast(ard)ion
is a clever play on words.