Search






Jeff's Amazon.com Wish List

Archive Calendar

November 2024
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
252627282930  

Archives

The Case of the Logistically Pernicious Ham Steak:  Tales of Heroic Intervention by the Nannystate

From the SunJournal, Maine, “‘Hate incident’ in city”:

One student has been suspended and more disciplinary action could follow a possible hate crime at Lewiston Middle School, Superintendent Leon Levesque said Wednesday.

On April 11, a white student placed a ham steak in a bag on a lunch table where Somali students were eating. Muslims consider pork unclean and offensive.

The act reminded students of a man who threw a pig’s head into a Lewiston mosque last summer.

The school incident is being treated seriously as “a hate incident,” Levesque said. Lewiston police are investigating, and the Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence is working with the school to create a response plan.

“We’ve got some work to do to turn this around and bring the school community back together again,” Levesque said.

Placing ham where Muslim students were eating was “an awful thing,” said Stephen Wessler, executive director of the Center for Prevention of Hate Violence. “It’s extraordinarily hurtful and degrading” to Muslims, whose religion prohibits them from being around ham. It’s important to respond swiftly, Wessler said.

“Incidents like this that involve degrading language or conduct are often said by the perpetrator as a joke. I know that conduct is never static,” he said. “It’s part of a process of escalation.”

Indeed.  In fact, this malignant positioning of a ham steak can’t help but escalate into something like, say, the firebombing of mosques, or the videotaped beheadings of Muslim students filmed in the AV room of the Junior high.

Of course, Kosher-keeping Jews who’ve assimilated into public schools have been subjected to sightings of the unholy alliance of meat and cheese, the arrogant parading (by unclean Goyim) of ham sandwiches—even, in some cases, the presence of breakfast sausages!—for what seems like decades.

But then, they control the world.  So a bit of religious inconvenience is a small price to pay in exchange for ownership of world’s banks, the western media, the Hollywood and New York entertainment industries, and having practically cornered the market on orthodontics.

Whereas Muslims?  They must be treated like exotic plants.  And sometimes you have to squash a few bugs if your goal is to keep the soil around the protected plant “pure.”

Think of it as horticultural dhimmitude—helped along, of course, by PC puppets and a multicultural ethos in which bureaucrats have become increasingly risk averse, and are willing to criminalize anything that could possibly give offense, provided the offense is against certain protected groups.

Let’s just hope criminal prosecution follows.  Because I relish the image of a 14-year old doing federal time alongside hardcore white supremacists for “illegally positioning a ham steak.”

(h/t Gray)

100 Replies to “The Case of the Logistically Pernicious Ham Steak:  Tales of Heroic Intervention by the Nannystate”

  1. Tom says:

    and the Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence is working with the school to create a response plan.

    a dab of tangy mustard perhaps?

  2. Matthew O. says:

    Bunch of pussies (the officials, not the ham wielding youngsters)

  3. Melissa says:

    My Jewish friend loves eating grilled brats. As a pregnant woman, the smell offended me. As a person sensitive to Jewish culture, his enjoyment of the unclean brats offended me. What is wrong with him? Doesn’t he understand the offensive pig product?

  4. dicentra says:

    And now, a grand jury will actually indict a ham sandwich.

    Look, I’m a Mormon, and I’m forbidden from drinking coffee and tea. Do I freak out because of the proliferation of coffee makers at work? Do I wig out because there is ice tea in the vending machines? (Though I’ll admit I was grossed out by what looked like a large urine sample on someone’s desk — turned out to be iced green tea.)

    Cripes, if someone spills coffee on me I might be peeved because of the stain, but I’m not going to act like I’ve been made ritually unclean or that God will send me to hell if I die by a tea-drenched bullet.

    Their behavior is downright superstitious, not religious. They need to get a grip.

  5. T&T says:

    Jeff,

    Isn’t there a difference between “placing a ham steak” on the table as preparation to eating it, and “placing …” completely for the purpose of insult and challenge? 

    Yes, this is a semiotic question.  Signs are necessarily ambiguous, and the context and intent of the user would define meaning.

    Am I being naive here?  Death to PC-ness!  Long live respect and compassion!  Help!

    tw: having94 questions for every answer

    T&T

  6. tim maguire says:

    So this isn’t a joke then?

    No, really. This is a joke, right?

  7. Steve says:

    Placing ham where Muslim students were eating was “an awful thing,” said Stephen Wessler, executive director of the Center for Prevention of Hate Violence.

    Mr Wessler’s idea of “awful thing” is a little different than mine. I assume the above is a typo, it is actually the Center for the Prevention of Ham Violence.

    I wonder if “ham fisted” is now going to enter the lexicon of forbidden phrases. I know that if our soldiers were armed with HAM, possibly, armour’d ham, they win the WOT more quicly.

    “It’s extraordinarily hurtful and degrading” to Muslims, whose religion prohibits them from being around ham.

    “Being around ham.” Not like, not eating ham.  Not like, say, seeing a commercial for ham.  BEING AROUND HAM.  “I’m sorry, but being around ham, that’s against my religion.” Is that, racist?  Will schools or public buildings have to have ham-free zones, within which one may not consume, show, sell, barter, or carry a ham?  What about a CONCEALED ham?  Can I get a license for that?

    It’s important to respond swiftly, Wessler said.

    I think the use of the work “Swift” in connection with the word “ham” is extraordinarily hurful to Muslims.

  8. Gray says:

    Of course notice that the Somali kid takes the narrative and runs with it:

    We didn’t know what was in this bag,” the boy said. “One of my friends reached inside it. It was a big ham steak. There were five of us at the table, all Somali. It was intended for us.”

    The boy said he looked up at students he thought were his friends. “I felt angered, offended.”

    He suddenly felt like he was alone. “At the school the next day, I didn’t feel safe. I felt like everybody was against me. Before I felt like I fit in, and everything was normal.”

    He began to think white students didn’t like him, and the act was their way of letting him know.

    On Thursday, several students came up to him and said, “Those guys who did it were jerks. I apologize for them, and I hope you feel better.”

    The boy said they did make him feel better. “But for the rest of my life when I remember middle school, this will pop up right away.”

    Yeah.  It’s the worst thing that has/will ever happen to him.

    Remember this when you hear the ritualistic cries of ‘torture!’ at Abu Graib and Guantanamo.

    It’s a tactic in the information war.

    I hope Karl will comment on the Somali kid’s reaction….

  9. Gray says:

    I feel just felafel about it….

    TW:  There is some inherent humor in pork and pork products19 though the pig laughs not.

  10. happyfeet says:

    I was out to sushi with a muslim friend and we wanted something like bread or whatever to go with our tuna tartar – we tried to describe what we wanted to the non-English speaking lady serving us – they ended up bringing an order of wontons. My friend actually bit into one before I snapped to what they were and moved the bowl away. He said it was ok cause he had only bitten off an edge. He said I could finish them if I wanted, but I let the lady take them back. No violence – hate violence or otherwise – ensued. It’s a head-scratcher.

  11. Nanonymous says:

    I knew a guy in the Air Force who once worked as a cook on base in the seventies.  The Shah’s son was a regular visitor to the base cafetaria – he used to come in on Saturday mornings after flying with his retainers, and they would proceed to bully the staff, lording the general immunity from punishment that important foreigners have when they’re getting training here over the poor groundlings.  And then they ordered, and ate, pancakes.

    My buddy said he took to dipping the pancake spatula in the bacon grease when he saw them coming.

  12. Idly Awed says:

    My plans for ascension to Kingpin of the Underground Ham Black Market are already well underway.

    I’ve nearly completed my stealthy mobile smokehouse, which will rival any secret meth lab for furtive sophistication. The crucial component is soundproofing capable of muffling the squeals…

  13. happyfeet says:

    Well see that’s just rude.

  14. happyfeet says:

    …the spatula thing

  15. Molyuk says:

    Melissa’s Jewish friend understands delicious, at least. My Jewish roommate’s favorite appetizer is shrimp wrapped in bacon; all he needs is a slice of cheese to hit the non-kosher trifecta.

    Ace of Spades pointed out a few days ago that Islam is becoming the de facto, if not de jure, state religion. No other religious group would receive this sort of deference. Can you imagine the (lack of) reaction if Mormon students screeched at the sight of a coffee pot, or Buddhist students wailed in terror at the presence of meat?

    I wonder how many of these school officials think Andres Serrano or Chris Ofili are fine artists. I wonder further just how Somali Muslims ended up in Maine.

  16. Scape-Goat Trainee says:

    On Thursday, several students came up to him and said, “Those guys who did it were jerks. I apologize for them, and I hope you feel better.”

    The boy said they did make him feel better. “But for the rest of my life when I remember middle school, this will pop up right away.”

    Yeah, that IS a tough break. Much worse that his compatriots have in Somali itself – a virtual paradise compared to Maine. I mean all they have to worry about is almost constant Civil War, this poor kid has to worry about taunts and unruly ham slices.

    I expect that due to the fact that animal flesh was involved, PETA will become a “Friend of the Pork” any day now and back the school’s actions

  17. BJTexs says:

    To quote an anonymous comedian:

    I have the solution to the GWOT: arm our soldiers with….

    HAM GRENADES!!

    “Put the salami down, Achmed!”

    I do hope someone responds quickly!

  18. Jeffersonian says:

    I’m with the Somalis: Ham is vile.

    Let’s turn down the emotion with a viewing of “Babe.”

  19. kyle says:

    Isn’t there a difference between “placing a ham steak” on the table as preparation to eating it, and “placing …” completely for the purpose of insult and challenge? 

    In this instance, does it matter?  It may be distasteful to insult someone’s religion, but actionable?  I hope we haven’t yet fallen that far into the abyss.

  20. Nanonymous says:

    It is rude – but it’s also a good reason why people ought to be polite to one another in a free society.  Working in a restaurant taught me every important practical (as opposed to the moral) reason why I should be nice to the people who handle my food.

    If he remembers a pork chop for the rest of his life, he’s gonna have a real chip on his shoulder when people climb in his cab with a bottle of booze.

  21. ccs says:

    I have a jooooooish friend who will pick up a piece of bacon and say “This is turkey bacon, right?” He doesn’t want to be told no, and everyone just plays along.  He happens to be very devout (except his consumption of ‘turkey bacon’.)

    My understanding of Islam is that they can’t consume pork, there is no restriction on handling it.

  22. BJTexs says:

    Isn’t there a difference between “placing a ham steak” on the table as preparation to eating it, and “placing …” completely for the purpose of insult and challenge? 

    Suppose there is? Does this mean that we need a commission and a designation of “hate” crime/speech with the requisite hand wringing, press conferences and mutiple double somersault mea culpas?

    Take the little jerks to the principle’s office, lecture them on respecting other people’s beliefs and give ‘em a week of after school detention. Anything more is overkill of the “napalm the anthill” variety.

  23. Gray says:

    It may be distasteful to insult someone’s religion, but actionable?  I hope we haven’t yet fallen that far into the abyss.

    There is the difference:

    Insulting someone’s religion is distasteful (tasteless, I would say).

    Insulting Islam is actionable.

  24. Phil Smith says:

    Back in the day, Sally the Somali would have had the option of getting up and throwing hands.  He’d have gotten paddled, maybe suspended, but 1) he’d have been lionized by his friends and 2) there would have been no question, even if he got whupped, of anyone putting ham on his table again.

    But since we have “zero-tolerance”, the kids aren’t allowed to work these things out the only way they are emotionally equipped to.  Ergo, they have two choices:  suck it up, or report it to the PC Police.  It sucks.

  25. Nanonymous says:

    Yeah, tasteless, right, got it – have to remember that the next time I read a rant about the Christo-fascists – you know, the ones who are prone to behead their opponents, film it, and display the gory results on the Internet?

    Oh, wait.

    BTW, speaking of tasteless, where’s the Alphagator?  Isn’t it time he showed up to tell us all we’re full of it?  Or is he still in time out?

  26. Darleen says:

    oh sweet jaysus

    If a ham steak on the table is the WORST memory of that hell-hole called “middle school” then this member of the Easily Offended club has done a far sight better than most of us.

  27. Gray says:

    Ergo, they have two choices:  suck it up, or report it to the PC Police.  It sucks.

    Three ways:  Or shoot up the school.

  28. Phil Smith says:

    But as to the questions about “handling” vs. “consuming” pork, Muslims do indeed consider any contact with pork to be defiling.  It’s not a new thing: see any history of the Indian Mutiny.

    But a hate crime?  Jeez.

  29. Clint says:

    I wonder further just how Somali Muslims ended up in Maine.

    A few hundred, at least, if not more were “invited” (or accepted, perhaps) as refugees by the Catholic diocese in Central Maine.  As someone who lived in that city for a few years about 7-10 years ago, even then they were a common site about town.  Something about a little civil unrest on the West African Coast.

    Even better than any reaction to pork, would have been their first reaction89 to winter in the Northeast.

  30. daleyrocks says:

    What are those Somalis doing in Maine instead of Minnesota where the grievance militia has already kicked into high gear?

    Wait until someone throws them some linguica, another New England favorite.

  31. MarkD says:

    Look, it could have been a peanut butter sandwich.  Those are fatal these days, or so I am told.

    Maybe mom was trying to kill me.

  32. Phil Smith says:

    Well, Gray, I’ve said for years that Dylan Klebold et al would never have managed that at my alma mater.  He’d have gotten some legitimate beat-downs long before, and learned how to respect his peers and himself in the process.  I don’t think it’s any coincidence that you find these examples of atrocity in a large population of adolescent male primates who have been deprived of the means to establish pecking order.  But that’s all blue-sky amateur sociology.

  33. Molyuk says:

    Thanks for the info, Clint. Could not for the life of me figure out why Somalis would choose Maine as a settling place.

    Judging by the whiny grievance mentality over an utterly harmless prank, they are assimilating to U.S. culture nicely.

  34. mojo says:

    Because of the Sus Scrofa Domestica!

  35. Steve says:

    The Indian Mutiny defilement came from the fact, as I recall, that muskets in those cases were loaded with a paper tube containing the ball and the powder, you tore open the paper tube or cartridge with your mouth, poured down the powder, then the ball and then ramrodded it tight.  The problem was the rumor got going that the paper cartridges that were being torn open by mouth had been treated with pork fat.  So there was ingestion issue.

  36. Dirk Diggler says:

    I’m a Baptist..and,well…someone placed a BEER next to me one time…the pain I felt was indescribable……cuz when you chug an ice cold BEER down quickly, you get that ice-pick in the eye sensation….man..that hurts.

  37. Big E says:

    I once wiped my ass with my right hand while a muslim was in the stall next to me at the strip club.  Here’s an excerpt from the SunJournal article decrying my hate criminalness:

    Wiping your ass with your right hand where Muslim men are oggling naked women was “an awful thing,” said Stephen Wessler, executive director of the Center for Prevention of Hate Violence. “It’s extraordinarily hurtful and degrading” to Muslims, whose religion prohibits them from wiping with their right hand. It’s important to respond swiftly, Wessler said.

    “Incidents like this that involve degrading language or conduct are often said by the perpetrator as a joke. I know that conduct is never static,” he said. “It’s part of a process of escalation.” And indeed Mr. Wessler was right.  Big E went on to escalate into practicing judaism and not dying which really pissed them off.  The aggrieved muslims shot a van full of special needs children on the way to school when they saw it exiting a well heeled neighborhood that they assumed would be “lousy with the Jews”.  When reached for comment Mr. Wessler banged the phone on his desk, said something about a bad line and hung up.  Subsequent attempts to reach him were unsuccessfull.

  38. getmerewrite says:

    All female students have been suspended and more disciplinary action could follow a possible hate crime at Lewiston Middle School, Superintendent Leon Levesque said Wednesday.

    On April 11, a female student came to school without a veil, and sat at a table where Somali students were eating. Muslims consider unveiled women unclean and offensive.

    The act reminded students of a meat, placed outside, where the cat can get at it.

    The school incident is being treated seriously as “a hate incident,” Levesque said. Lewiston police are investigating, and the Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence is working with the school to create a response plan.

    “We’ve got some work to do to turn this around and bring the school community back together again,” Levesque said, “by ensuring that all the girls are placed into burkas.”

    Placing women where Muslim students were eating was “an awful thing,” said Stephen Wessler, executive director of the Center for Prevention of Hate Violence. “It’s extraordinarily hurtful and degrading” to Muslims, whose religion prohibits them from being around unveiled women. It’s important to respond swiftly, Wessler said.

  39. Gray says:

    Placing women where Muslim students were eating was “an awful thing,” said Stephen Wessler, executive director of the Center for Prevention of Hate Violence. “It’s extraordinarily hurtful and degrading” to Muslims, whose religion prohibits them from being around unveiled women. It’s important to respond swiftly, Wessler said.

    Now you guys are seeing where this is heading!

    You could also find-and-replace with “jew”, “alcohol”, “cartoons of Mohammed” or “dog”.

    Pretty soon we are living under self-inflicted Shari’a Law.

  40. FabioC. says:

    Astute readera have noticed that the original prohibition is against eating pork and its products; this school instead has accepted supinely a much wider and more extreme form of the prohibition. This is not good at all.

    Incidentally, I can state I have seen more burqas around London than around Jakarta.

  41. Bravo Romeo Delta says:

    Gray,

    Holy Crap.

    No BS, but I think you’ve just described the point of cleavage between tolerance and totalitarian.  If the notion for, let’s say, a master race, is that they subjugate all others and are offended if people deny their inferiority, then the only option for the truly compliant is to willingly wear the yoke.

    When you add this bit to the Ghandi/Concentration Camp thing, it all fits together.

    BRD

  42. JohnAnnArbor says:

    The Indian Mutiny defilement came from the fact, as I recall, that muskets in those cases were loaded with a paper tube containing the ball and the powder, you tore open the paper tube or cartridge with your mouth, poured down the powder, then the ball and then ramrodded it tight.  The problem was the rumor got going that the paper cartridges that were being torn open by mouth had been treated with pork fat.  So there was ingestion issue.

    Actually, there was a rumor they used beef fat and pork fat, creating a situation to offend both Hindus and Muslims.  Bad results all around.

  43. Gray says:

    No BS, but I think you’ve just described the point of cleavage between tolerance and totalitarian. 

    I’m glad others are starting to see it.

    Jeff brought this up a couple of times, but it didn’t take….  I tried to bring it up in arguments with XxxPat Steve who was only too willing to ‘wear the yoke of the infidel’….

    This is where PC tolerance facilitates Islamic Totalitarianism.

    The only way to avoid offending them is to live according to their dictates in subjugation.

    It’s easier to go along with it and change our own way of life in the name of fairness and tolerance than it is to defeat the moslem, ‘cuz that’s not fair or tolerant.

    If it is ‘progressive’ it’s because we are ‘progressing’ towards Shari’a.

  44. Little Ham Steak with a Big Heart says:

    You people suck! No blood for glaze!

  45. St Wendeler says:

    Cair gets to put another tick down for this anti-Muslim hate crime.  No wonder American Muslims feel like they’re living in a threatening country.

    The Humanity!!! The Humanity!!!

    If you put a Ham Sandwich in front of me, do I not weep?????  Or get an unholy tinge of saliva (ala Pavlov’s dog)?  Damn you 7th grade white supremacists for making me feel the shame of seeing tasty pork products and feeling a desire to eat them.

    Allah, most merciful and just, please smite these 7th graders!!!

  46. SGT Ted says:

    While in Iraq, we took our translators to the chow hall with us regularly. One night they were serving bacon wrapped filet mignon. Two of them were eating it and one of us said “You know thats pork, right?” The first one really flipped out, running outside to make himself throw up. He was quite upset. The second one just sat there munching away. We asked him if he was going stop eating it. He said “I will pray extra later.” and kept right on eating.

    There’s hope for that country.

  47. beth3b says:

    But … but … but … They’re Somalis.  That means they’re African, and black, right?  According to the Bible, doesn’t that make them … the Sons of Ham anyway????

    [rimshot!]

  48. N. O'Brain says:

    Bacon and sausage and ham, oh my…..

  49. The last time I got in trouble for “illegally positioning a ham steak” I got off.

    Then I got arrested.

  50. eLarson says:

    “Being around ham.”

    Would that make my local Honeybaked Ham outlet the safest place on Earth or the biggest target in town?

  51. Andrea Porkin says:

    “I think the use of the work “Swift” in connection with the word “ham” is extraordinarily hurful to Muslims.”

    Come on, they just need to grow a little defensive Armour.

    “all he needs is a slice of cheese to hit the non-kosher trifecta.”

    Wouldn’t it be most effective if it was cheese made from sow’s milk?

    Come to think of it, why don’t they make cheese from sow’s milk?

  52. JHoward says:

    “We’ve got some work to do to turn this around and bring the school community back together again,” Levesque said.

    Judas H. Priest.  Every instinct in me is screaming, whatever the hell happened to the separation of public and private, of law and speech, of actual rights and sheer, nightmarish, nannyist dogma?

  53. “illegally positioning a ham steak”

    That one goes to the s*x crimes unit.

    As does the “cleavage between tolerance and totalitarian.”

  54. JHoward says:

    Isn’t there a difference between “placing a ham steak” on the table as preparation to eating it, and “placing …” completely for the purpose of insult and challenge?

    Legally, could it possibly matter?  Wouldn’t that call imputed motive into play in prosecuting this horrific non-crime?  As in,

    And now, a grand jury will actually indict a ham sandwich.

    (Best spoken by John Cleese.)

    Really.  Socially, personally, and in every other way, just deal with it.

    Oh, and too many professed libertarians—perhaps in this very thread—are missing that point, and as with the odd need to first condemn Imus for his remark and then proceed to excoriate PMSNBC for what amounts to censorship, are going on about how damn offensive this particular event was.  Looks like PC is everywhere.

    Give me a break, please.  This is America.  I’m offended by my tax dollars funding showings of jars of urine, or crap pinned to a wall, or even chocolate prophets. 

    I tend get over it in about a nanosecond, which is to say that I expect others would also.  And should. 

    There is no other meaningful leg for the offended to stand on nor may there be.

  55. klrfz1 says:

    1. What was the Somali kid doing looking into someone else’s ham bag anyway?

    2. If being around pork is offensive and cops are pigs then are muslims safe from arrest?

    3. Is there any reason for moderate muslims to even argue with the radicals when we are surrendering so very quickly?

    I tw:have47 more questions.

    4. If men are pigs then muslim ho’s don’t s…?

  56. drsuess says:

    A 6-year-old student has been suspended and more disciplinary action could follow a possible hate crime at Lewiston Middle School, Superintendent Leon Levesque said Wednesday.

    On April 11, the student came to school with a book by Dr. Suess entitled “Green Eggs and Ham,” and sat at a table where Somali students were eating and began reading quietly. Muslims consider the book unclean and offensive.

    The school incident is being treated seriously as “a hate incident,” Levesque said. Lewiston police are investigating, and the Center for the Prevention of Book Violence is working with the school to create a response plan.

    “We’ve got some work to do to turn this around and bring the school community back together again,” Levesque said. “The book burning party starts at noon. Attendance is mandatory for all students, except Muslims.”

    Books to be burnt included those written by award winning writer Ken Ham, Ham on Rye: A Novel by Charles Bukowski, Ham Radio for Dummies, all movies starring Kevin Bacon, and the academy award winning World War II film entitled “Pork Chop Hill.”

    Placing a book where Muslim students were eating was “an awful thing,” said Stephen Wessler, executive director of the Center for Prevention of Hate Violence. “It’s extraordinarily hurtful and degrading” to Muslims, whose religion prohibits them from being subjected to books about ham.

  57. daleyrocks says:

    Interesting Maine recipe.  Cranberries.  Who would’ve thought to use cranberries?

    Mustard Glazed Ham

    5 lb. ham (spiral allows for more of the glaze to flavor the ham)

    1/4 tsp. ground cloves

    1 jar Sweet Honey or Horseradish Mustard

    2 tsp. lemon juice

    2 tbsp. orange juice

    Place ham in pan, mix all ingredients in bowl, spread all over ham. Bake at 325 for 1-3/4 to 2-1/2 hours or until internal temperature reads 140 F. (If using spiral ham, use baking time on package)

    Opton 2: Combine 1 jar Horseradish Mustard, 1 jar Cranberry Marmalade & 1 cup pineapple juice in place of ingredients above. Follow baking directions above.

  58. daleyrocks says:

    Is cloned ham considered real ham for the purposes of Islam?  Anyone know?

    Perhaps scientific progress and the march of knowledge offer a way out of some of these tricky situations?

    Can you clone beer?

  59. Lou says:

    Perhaps we should have David Cross describe the taste of pork to muslims.

  60. Aldo says:

    Lewiston police are investigating, and the Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence is working with the school to create a response plan.

    Apparently school police don’t have response plans in place for spree killers, but we can all breathe easier knowing that they will at least have an emergency plan in place for ham steaks.

  61. Marty says:

    What we need is an aerosol dispersal method for bacon fat.  We just make sure to dose all fifty states monthly from high enough altitude to cover the entire country.  We would need to heat it of course so it could form droplets and fall like a delicious smelling rain.

  62. Pablo says:

    Andrea Porkin,

    Come to think of it, why don’t they make cheese from sow’s milk?

    Because their little ones are such pigs.

  63. Dan Collins says:

    I’m going to make a mint (ha!) selling my GAG RUBBER PORKCHOP!

  64. Morgan says:

    We must continue to keep in mind that ALL of these actions are not primarily designed to support Islam or Muslims; they are primarily designed to attack Christianity.  Christians have held doctrinally to the exclusive claims of Christ over the years, and now that the west has by and large abandoned it’s Christian roots and have embraced post-Christian relativism, Islam merely provides one more tool with which the relativist Left can chip away at the western Christian heritage.  Islam too will fall from their favor once they used it to get to their ultimate end:  The complete purging of Christ and the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob from the public sphere.  Afterall, they must be able to engage in their sodomy and infanticide with reckless abandon, unencumbered by traditional, biblical morality.

  65. Jess says:

    Yikes…

    you folks sure like to … ah… ham it up???  (ducks down)

    Well, that’s better than the average joke, OK?

    Lo, as a careful housewife runs to catch

    a piglet, one that broke away,

    Sets down her hamsteak, and makes all swift dispatch

    In pursuit of the thing she would have stay;

    Whilst her neglected hamstake offends the Moor…

    (Ok, wise guys… where did I steal that from???)

    J

  66. N. O'Brain says:

    What we need is an aerosol dispersal method for bacon fat.  We just make sure to dose all fifty states monthly from high enough altitude to cover the entire country.  We would need to heat it of course so it could form droplets and fall like a delicious smelling rain.

    Posted by Marty | permalink

    on 04/19 at 05:54 PM

    CHEMTRAILS!!!!!!!11!!!!!

  67. Jess says:

    Chemtrails….

    Hmm.  Add some DDT in for flavor, and you might have something there.

    Gawd, I miss the smell of pesticides in the morning!

    J

  68. Rob Crawford says:

    A question I’ve not heard an answer to:

    How the fuck did they know it was ham?

  69. Defenseman Emeritus says:

    Sixty-something comments in, and no lefties are speaking up for Lewiston Middle School in this case? Maybe there’s still hope for this country.

  70. wishbone says:

    “It’s part of a process of escalation.”

    There’s deaf-to-irony.

    And then there’s creepy, 2001-esque silence-in-space deaf-to-irony.

    the Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence is working with the school to create a response plan.

    Anyone else remember the Python sketch with Terry Jones serving as the candidate for the “Very Silly” Party?  This sounds like a plank from their platform.

    A response plan?  To a piece of ham?  Whew, the room is spinning…

  71. Sixty-something comments in, and no lefties are speaking up for Lewiston Middle School in this case?

    The most likely suspect is on hiatus.

  72. wishbone says:

    Seriously.

    Response plan.

    Ham sandwich.

    And this:

    “We’ve got some work to do to turn this around and bring the school community back together again,” Levesque said.

    And this:

    “But for the rest of my life when I remember middle school, this will pop up right away.”

    All in the same post.

    I think I’ll go back to my home planet now.

  73. wishbone says:

    The BBQ pork sanwiches there are delicious, by the way.

  74. cynn says:

    Sixty-something comments in, and no lefties are speaking up for Lewiston Middle School in this case?

    Well, I’m here.  This really seems over the top.  As mentioned before, many different religious sensibilities have managed to co-exist with our way of life.  I frankly would have a hard time disciplining some kid for wasting a perfectly good lunch.  Think of the starvers.

  75. cynn says:

    But seriously, pulling the offending kid aside, and reminding him that kind of pointless and inflammatory crap just causes more tension than it’s worth, would have been sufficient.

  76. B Moe says:

    Pulling the offended kids aside and explaining that the worst thing you can do is let a prankster know he got under your skin might not be a bad idea, either.

  77. wishbone says:

    pulling the offending kid aside, and reminding him that kind of pointless and inflammatory crap

    As opposed to saying, “Lighten up, it’s a friggin’ ham sandwich.”

    Or “Lighten up, it’s a friggin’ cartoon”

    Or “Lighten up, the Pope was right, you know”

    Or “Lighten up (in general)”.

  78. cynn says:

    As long as funny Jesus and Bible God cartoons are OK, all bets are off.  Agreed?

  79. cynn says:

    Here is my point.  These people are here.  Agreed, they ought to assimilate as soon as possible.  The problem is that our culture wants to hug everything, and exclude nobody.  As long as that obtains, we live in a shaming society.  And for some convoluted reason, the shame is usually directed at the dominant collective.  So those that don’t assimilate are afforded some kind endangered species status.  Never undersood it myself.

  80. furriskey says:

    Incidentally, I can state I have seen more burqas around London than around Jakarta.

    Very true. Kuala Lumpur, on the other hand, is starting to look like a ten-pin bowling alley full of black skittles.

  81. lee says:

    .  So a bit of religious inconvenience is a small price to pay in exchange for ownership of world’s banks, the western media, the Hollywood and New York entertainment industries, and having practically cornered the market on orthodontics.

    Good Lord!!

    Not the orthodonics too?!

    I relish the image of a 14-year old doing federal time alongside hardcore white supremacists for “illegally positioning a ham steak.”

    I think the realization that needs to take hold is that a counter group of some sort is going to have to stand up, if we are going to advoid being muslim. (or dead)

    Hopefully, it will be America that resists.

    If not, Christians.

    If neither of those entities will defend themselves, perhaps all that will be left is the white sepremists.

    I hope it doesn’t come to that, I’m not really a joiner, if you know what I mean.

  82. The Drizzle says:

    I for one have been “illegally positioning my hamsteak” for years.

  83. wishbone says:

    Yeah, cynn–

    I remember all those riots and burning buildings following virtually every episode of “South Park.”

    Them Christianists are not the loons you would make them out to be.

    Try again.

  84. Aaron says:

    I’m Jewish and laughing at the hilarity of all this! Can I sue my employer for creating a hostile work environment when my project partner comes to lunch holding, nay, WIELDING a BLT? Oh please say yes! I need to bring the “work community” “back together again” after this <sniffle> “hate incident”! Oh, the HUMANITY!!!

    After the laughter though… could we really be in as serious trouble as England?

  85. very occasional visitor says:

    The highway running out of Lewiston, Maine, to Lisbon, Maine, is named the Staff Sergeant Thomas Field Memorial Highway.  Field was killed in Mogadishu, Somalia, in 1993, and his body dragged through the streets and displayed for the cameras.

    Locals know how insufferable the imported Somalis are, how endless their sense of entitlement.  Slap a picture of SSgt Fields on the table next time, see what the Hate Crime Nazis have to say about that.

  86. alppuccino says:

    Okay kids, take out your geography books.  Now to review, what is the largest city in Alabama?  Anyone?  Anyone?  I know you know this.

    C’mon!  It’s Birming-, uh

    Okay kids, take out your math books……

  87. BJTexs says:

    As long as funny Jesus and Bible God cartoons are OK, all bets are off.  Agreed?

    Weeeeellllll…

    I don’t know about “OK” but I can promise you that I will be practicing this radical new response plan called “Outrage Without Riots and Arson.”

    I am available for seminars and corporate outings.

  88. Hmmm… I guess schools are going to have to replace all their classroom pets with mice. Can’t have hamsters and Guinea pigs running around.

  89. Paul Zrimsek says:

    …So the meanest father-raper of them all comes over to me and says, “Kid, what you get?” And I said, “I didn’t get nothin’. I had to pay $50 and eat the ham steak.” And he says, “Kid, what were you in for?” and I say “Malignant positioning of a ham steak.” And they all moved away from me on the bench. And then I said “And degrading a minority religion” and they all came back and we had a great time talkin’ ‘bout crime mother-stabbing father-raping and all sorts of groovy things that we were talking about there on the bench.

  90. Joan of Argghh! says:

    Paul, that was brilliant!

    smile

  91. Ron Gaydos says:

    The most frightening part of this is that the cops are investigating it as a hate crime. Doesn’t there have to be a crime first? Where the heck is the crime? Abuse of a food product?

    What’s next, thought crime?

  92. deano says:

    You Americans are hilarious. Just days after a highschool shooting, you’re giving tacit approval to the bullying of some young Somali kids.

    Visit Littlegreenfootballs to see why some Americans think these Soamli kids got “what they deservered”

    (Somali + Muslim = worthy of bullying from “decent” American kids)

    Yes, it was bullying unless you think the ham in a bag was some kind of thoughtful gift to the Soamli kid from an american kid.

    The message of the ham in a bag given to the kid was obvious. But it seems so many Amercian adults have missed it.

    And could you Americans please stop putting the word “torture” in quotes when writing about Abu Ghraib Prison. It was torture, plain and simple, so just use the word torture. No need for the quotes.

  93. Ron Gaydos says:

    deano,

    It’s not necessarily approval. It’s people being tired of catering to one group over another. Bullying has been a part of growing up since kids have been put together. The difference is, it can be handled individually. Bullies are usually insecure about themselves, and can usually be taken care of. In some instances, it has to be elevated to the teacher or principal, but it’s NOT a crime. It’s stupid, yes, and it reflects on the attitude of the kid’s home life. So what?

    Our reaction is really a reaction to the Balkanization of our country. We are no longer a melting pot where eventually, through hard work and effort, a “category” of people are given respect and join the rest of society. My grandparents came from Eastern Europe and were considered sub-human at that time. The Eugenics movement considered them a danger to intellectuals. They were relegated to the worst possible jobs in any place they were employed. Just as the Irish were before them.

    But they didn’t whine that their sensitivities were hurt; that their “feelings” were offended. They earned the respect of society by proving that they, as individuals, were as worthy as anyone. They didn’t demand instant respect; they didn’t demand special treatment; they didn’t demand legal action. They earned their way into the mainstream.

    What is happening now is we are being asked to defer to any number of special groups that claim victimhood. We have never been a nation of victims; we have been a nation of individuals who have equal opportunity–but not equal outcomes.

    And please, save the “littlegreenfootballs is facist evil” crap for dailykos. If someone has an ignorant opinion, that’s their problem. As for Abu Ghraib, it was humiliating, yes. It was not torture. Nobody was physically harmed. And the perpetrators have been put where they belong, behind bars. We know that there are always people who will go too far in any situation, but that’s why we have laws to punish those responsible.

  94. furriskey says:

    I don’t think I would agree with you there, Deano. It seems to me that bullying is what the Muslims are doing to the society into which they have chosen to move- leaving their own, Islamic society to do so.

    They may be being helped in this bullying by the proactively stupid behaviour of the school authorities, but they could switch that off straight away by admitting that there is nothing unclean at all about pork in a bag.

    To pretend that there is, and to demand “protection” from it, is an attempt to impose alien views and mores on the host community.

    I would describe that as bullying.

    I don’t think that your repetitive use of “you Americans” is neutral or helpful either.

  95. Pablo says:

    You Americans are hilarious.

    And you Euros are approaching the end of your history as you know it.

    Did you hear the one where an individualist and a nannystate walk into a bar? Eh, I’m sure you’d be offended tortured.

  96. T&T says:

    Kyle, BJTexas, JHoward, etc.:

    Agreed, to treat “ham positioning” as a crime is absurd.  It’s more a case, at worst, of bullying and maybe merely bad taste.  No, it shouldn’t be actionable, it should be resolved like any other case of school banter gone astray.  Yes, and the other side needs to learn that people out there disagree with them!

    T&T

  97. deano says:

    Yes, yes, the end of Europe is predicted on many American Rightwing blogs.

    “Soon”.

    we’ll all be bowing down to the evil Muslims and unable to drink beer or eat ham “soon” as it will be banned by the mythical PC brigade who roam around the continent.

    “Soon.”

    It’s amazing just how many of us in Europe are actually quite happy with our lives and are not busy preparing for the collapse of our socities and the “soon” to be implementation of sharia law.

    I’ve read that “soon” we in Europe will have to submit to Islam or be executed by our “liberal”, “terrorist loving” governments. 

    Where did I read this?

    on an American right-wing blog.

    I suppose I should be scared. I mean, how soon is my execution coming…if it’s next week I need to cancel my holiday plans.

    Keep your guns reading Guys, cos once the Muslims have executed all of us in Europe “soon” they’ll be heading for the US.

    I’ve heard they’ve got a big factory in Scotland where they are busy building giant airships ready for the invasion…”soon”.

  98. Pablo says:

    Visit Littlegreenfootballs to see why some Americans think these Soamli kids got “what they deservered”

    I just did that and read 600+ comments on the subject. I didn’t see a single one of them that said those kids “got what they deserved” or anything like it.

    Why are you lying to us and about LGF, deano?

  99. Pablo says:

    I didn’t say anything about Europe falling to Muslims, deano, but if you say so, who am I to argue?

    I’m simply referring to the fact that the continent has lost its pride, its identity, its balls. Perhaps we’ve done you a disservice by providing for your defense all these years.

  100. GoatGuy says:

    HOLD ON –

    Just about EVERY delicatessen in Berkeley / Albany (Cal) and Palo Alto (Stanford) is run by A’salaam’ilaykum middle easterners. Not a single deli doesn’t have some variation on the ham sandwich on their menu.  It is stored in their refrigerator, alongside bacon strips for the BLTs.  I almost always ask for a BLT or Ham sandwich, and I have yet to get even the flicker of a dirty look, or resignation, or disgust.

    But that’s the difference isn’t it between fanatics and their children, and the “moderate” Muslim. Achmed and Janoosh understand to the last cent that theirs isn’t a business bound by Islamic restrictions, but needing to make money by pandering to the desires of the populace.

    Indeed, I was almost shocked in Kansas City to find the legendary Pork Palace run exclusively by a Lebanese family.  But then again, the Lebanese have always been more liberal than say the Somalis or the Saudis.

Comments are closed.