Merrick: “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!â€Â
Me: “I realize that. But that still doesn’t mean you can use the Bowflex.â€Â
Merrick: “– I AM A HUMAN BEING!â€Â
Me: “Yeah. But you’re a human being with a seventy pound head that could easily snap the neck support. Besides, you get an allowance, right? Go buy yourself an Ab Lounge or something if you’re so worried about ‘losing my sixpack.’”
If you’d hold his ankles, Jeff, I’d think a few sit ups would go a long way. Or if you have free weights he can just stick his feet under a well-loaded bar.
Did the YMCA turn down his membership app or something?
You couldn’t shake the ghost by moving, eh?
An armadillo, some beets, the dolphin in a pea coat, the Sea Monkey King and a ghost. Goldstein House is getting crowded before you even factor in Jeff, the missus and Satch!
I hear the Bowflex is good for toning the trunk.
rimshot.
Evidently, I’m the first moron in history to break 3 separate 50 lb power rods. So I had to have my machine replaced by the Revolution, which uses a completely different technology. That I’ll probably destroy, too.
You ANIMAL!
It wasn’t strength, I can tell you that much. Likely the things just didn’t want to be seen as complicit in the neocon conspiracy to destroy the Constitution.
I think they might have been reading Greenwald(s) while I was outside mowing the lawn or something.
Broke? how? I’ve had one for two years, and haven’t broken anything yet. Of course, I don’t use those 50lb babies much.
Joseph Merrick not, John.
I would imagine most of his allowance goes to buying Head-On by the case.
Damn right. Get your own Bowflex, Merrick.
Oh, and what about this?:
(blockquote> Jeff’s the Steely Dan of the blogosphere er’ somthin’â€Ââ€â€Jason Rubenstein, Tonecluster</blockquote>
I think I’d sue if he compared me to a dildo. Just sayin’…
I always wondered who bought those things, now I know! I’ve always stuck with the cheaper dust collectors like weight benches—good for hanging shirts and draping jeans on
Mr. Merrick does repeat himself…..
You should get him talking about his collection of penny dreadfuls. Once he starts on that, he never shuts up.
I was right. First day with the new machine, and one of the plates is jammed and can’t be removed.
I’m destined to remain flabby.
Perhaps you’re right about their ideological subversion. They don’t like you bearing your arms.
Ahhh, in ten years, when you’re my age, you will learn to embrace the flabbyness.
So don’t spend too much money on faux dumbells.
Sunday I was lamenting the keg that has replaced my six pack, and my brother says “eh, get a tan on it, it’ll look good.”
Words to live by, my friend. Words to live by.
The first step of which is to gather it up in bunches until you can get your arms all the way around it.
Or failing that, you can embrace it in sections. Use a grid pattern to be sure you get it all.
I have a six pack!
But I keep it in a soft-side insulated container, so you can’t see it…
The scenery is way better at the gym and somebody else gets to fix the equipment.
Their equipment is in no danger from me.
fixing
that
distorty
this is REALLY REALLY UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!