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a haiku pair for my reading lamp

What I really like

about you is you don’t drip

hot wax on my books.

—Though in fairness to

candles, you don’t drip hot wax

on my thighs, either.

21 Replies to “a haiku pair for my reading lamp”

  1. Yep, that’s quite a pair you’ve got there…

  2. proudvastrightwingconspirator says:

    So Jeff doesn’t like

    hot wax dripped on his fat thighs?

    Cheap bikini wax!

  3. Matthew O. says:

    It appears that Jeff

    likes short sharp drips on his hairy

    thighs, Rip there’s more pain

  4. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Yeah, I dig the hot wax.  Does that make me a degenerate?

  5. wishbone says:

    Does that make me a degenerate?

    At this point, Jeff, I don’t think that has a single cause, if you know what I mean.

    Degenerate.

  6. ahem says:

    WAXIST!

  7. Stormy70 says:

    I prefer whale oil drips.

    Moisturizer, baby!

  8. McGehee says:

    Yeah, I dig the hot wax.

    Actually, it’s easier to dig after it’s cooled a bit.

    Before that, you’re better off using a spoon than a shovel.

  9. RetiredMarine says:

    Would you feel better if I napalmed your ass?

    It can be arranged.

  10. wishbone says:

    Would you feel better if I napalmed your ass?

    If that’s literal, I’m leaving.

  11. Great Mencken's Ghost! says:

    Kurt Vonnegut is dead.

  12. happyfeet says:

    So it goes.

  13. CarlosinCalifornia says:

    Jeff,

    After watching your Rockies at Chavez Ravine this evening, I’m not sure they’ll be playing more than 162 games this season. 

    Think Blue.

    Onward, Carlos

  14. N. O'Brain says:

    Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget to breathe, very important.

    -Mr. Kesuke Miyagi

  15. BJTexs says:

    Foundational wax

    springs eccentric screaming pain

    lightening the mood

    And, you will notice, the subtle yet delicious reference to a season.

    Don’t you?

    Notice, damn you!!!

  16. Veeshir says:

    You call that a haiku?

    With no mention of a season?

    Is this a spring thing?

  17. Jeff Goldstein says:

    My wife was at the game last night, too, Carlos.

    The Rockies starters have an era of around 2.75.  And the team is 4-5.

    With that middle of the lineup.

    It’s remarkable, really.  But they still can’t turn themselves into situational hitters. 

    The worm could turn, though.  Tomko is a fast starter and Penny OWNS the Rockies.  But they did beat Schmidt, and Cook, Lopez, and Francis have looked brilliant.

    Get that offense clicking, make a few bullpen patches…who knows?

  18. CarlosinCalifornia says:

    Jeff,

    In fairness to the Rockies, I thought it was going to be a very long night for the Dodgers when Penny walked the bases full in the first inning.  He got out of the jam.  Had he not, the score might have gone the other way.  On such things, final results turn.

    I hope the fans treated your wife well.  The Ravine crowd is generally very friendly and were to the Rockies fans near me in the third base infield box area.

    Onward, Carlos

  19. BJTexs says:

    Um…Veeshir

    The haiku form has a meter form of 5 – 7 – 5.

    You might consider that in the future or others will swoop down and mock you.

    As they, um, ah, have done to me…

  20. MarkD says:

    And me.  Despite a whole class on Japanese cuture, and I beclowned myself.  If only that were the last, or greatest example.

  21. Veeshir says:

    Haiku counts as one syllable.

    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

    At least I had a season in mine.

Comments are closed.