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My sixteenth brief conversation with the ghost of John Merrick

Merrick: “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!”

Me:  “Say, you mind lending me fifty bucks?  I’m totally jonesing for sashimi today.”

Merrick:  “– I AM A HUMAN BEING!”

Me:  “Dude, for fifty bucks you can squeeze yourself into a pair of fishnets, prop a bowler hat on your giant skull, and call yourself Liza Minelli and you won’t hear a peep of protest out of me.  I’m not about judgment, man.  I’m all about the fish.”

12 Replies to “My sixteenth brief conversation with the ghost of John Merrick”

  1. McGehee says:

    Aldo, do you live in/near Atlanta, and was that Kim Peterson?

  2. Major John says:

    How about $3 for a double Filet o’ Fish at the Golden Arches?

  3. timmyb says:

    Awesome post, Jeff.

    Sadly, I’m tapped

  4. J. Peden says:

    “Awesome post, Jeff.” Now I don’t want my money back – might even spring for some napalm-saturated fish.

  5. Aldo says:

    I was once listening to a radio call-in show when a black caller began laying into the white host, accusing him of wanting to deny education to blacks in order to keep the black race down.

    After a long pause the host said:  “Look man, I’m not trying to stop you from getting an education.  I just want my freaking car stereo back, ok?

  6. Dan Collins says:

    Mmmmmmmmm. Sosumi.

  7. Aldo says:

    No, I live in Los Angeles.  I don’t remember the name of the host.  His first name was Joe I think.  It was a non-political show that only lasted a short time.

    I don’t really listen to radio much, though, so for all I know the guy might have moved on to become huge somewhere else.

  8. McGehee says:

    Oh. Peterson was a longtime host in Atlanta before we got here, but he got fired last year and the station he worked for has no local on-air talent at all anymore. It survives on Rush Limbaugh and Braves home games.

    The Kimmer tried to get another gig but he finally decided to retire. At least for now.

  9. Steve says:

    Don’t have time to post, Jeff, or, frankly, read too much, but quality of posts in the past week ahve been excellent. Kudos.

  10. Good Lord, how much sashimi are you talking about for $50?

    Or are you getting it served on a naked model?

  11. dwa says:

    Good Lord, how much sashimi are you talking about for $50?

    Or are you getting it served on a naked model?

    If he’s getting it at a bona fide restraunt, and not the local food court or all you can eat buffet, not much.

    Trust me, I know98

  12. If he’s getting it at a bona fide restraunt, and not the local food court or all you can eat buffet, not much.

    I disbelieve. I live in a smaller city, just as far from the ocean, and there’s no freaking way I could eat $50 worth of sashimi. Hell, I suspect I could pick up a sushi-grade tuna loin for $50.

Comments are closed.