“…you know what I hate? Those little paper umbrellas bartenders are always putting in my Planter’s Punches. A MAN doesn’t need garnish. Hell, I don’t even like my drinks in a bloody glass. Were it up to me, I’d be sucking dark rum out of the blanched skull of someone like Sean Hannity—and those little paper umbrellas I’d turn into tiny, poison-tipped darts, which I’d then thrust with my tongue into the necks of phony warriors whose only experience with insurgents is spending time in one of their bamboo cells, eating bugs and cold rice…”*
update: “…Christ, do I feel like having myself right now. Stop being so freaking SEXY, self—or you’re going to wind up getting me into trouble with the Catholics…!”*
My son is a waiter. He had to learn the proper garnish to go with each drink. I’m Goldsteinian on that. Stick something in it or beside it, or not. They don’t like it, throw them out and push the next drunk for tips.
ONAMIST!
I used to think Ware was really sexy. Then one day my son mentioned how crooked his nose was and POOF! suddenly that was all I could see when I looked at him.
Once I stopped looking at him and only listened to his reports, I noticed he sounds remarkably like the Crocodile Hunter.
UMBRELLA DRINKS?!
You Had Me at ‘Beer’…
Chorus:
I don’t need no menu, waitress,
The food ain’t why I’m here.
This ain’t no eating venue,
But you had me, hon, at beer!
Had a beer for breakfast
Had another beer at lunch
Had more beer between ‘em
(In LA they call it brunch)
Had some beer at work today
A little workplace cheer!
And if I roam
On my way home
Some beer will help me steer!
(Chorus)
I took some beer out hunting,
Gonna shoot me up a bear.
Drank a few up in my tree
Did my hunting in mid-air.
The ground was hard,
The bear was scared,
The rangers was amused.
It’s gonna take a few more beers
To fix what I got bruised.
(Chorus)
Met a roadhouse honey
Said those words I want to hear,
She can’t love me for my money
’cause I spent it all on beer!
I think she left with someone else
Or she’s hiding in the can,
I guess she couldn’t handle
A hot beer-drinkin’ man!
(Chorus)
Don’t talk to me ‘bout beaujolais,
Margaritas is just queer,
Rum and coke’s a sissy joke,
Tequila makes me sneer.
Vodka’s UnAmerican,
Now I drink the only drink I can:
That’s the reason I come here.
So lose that wine list, baby doll,
And bring me another beer!
(Chorus)
Now I don’t have that job no more,
My wife and kids steer clear,
My pickup’s stuck
Under this truck
(But they’ll get me out of here),
The rangers took my shotgun
And that bear knows where I live,
If I don’t get a beer real soon,
Something’s gotta give!
Copyright © 2007, Richard McEnroe
Could be worse it’s the real thing …… it adds life….
No more free drinks for Ware on the derailed Straight Talk Express, I take it?
Has a journalist ever singlehandly done in a presidential frontrunner like that before?
Fradulent hit attempts by journalists are nothing new. Dan Rather tried – but failed due to incompetence and the perseverance of us Lizardoids.
Pelosi timing:
McCain was a frontrunner? Not here he wasn’t.
A “frontrunner” for the Democratic nomination?
So are you saying Michael Ware isn’t an Australian, alfi?
Alpee says whatever is contrary. So if someone here should even imply that Ware is Antipodean, he’ll mock us for it.
This michael ware guy troubles the narrative.
So are you saying Michael Ware isn’t a novelist, emma?
He’s hell on the liver too, from what I hear.
Not that I’m one to talk.
Much like Woodstock 89 & 94 represents the hypocritical but inevitable return of the Woodstock generation’s cultural & socio-political investments – a corporate sponsored, drug induced, violence laden, trade-marked brand of revolution w/ walls of ATMs – Ware merely reflects the end-result of the Woodward & Bernstein’s foray into political fueled, agenda driven media coverage, by accidentally striking gold & tainting the office of the Presidency. They made it alright for reporters to no longer report the news, but promote & become advocates tackling their perceived political & cultural nemesis under the banner of righteousness, while aiding their perceived allies.
Fueled even further by aiding in the out-right abandonment of financial, moral & militaristic responsibilities by rooting in favor of retreat, defeat & withdrawal in Vietnam, each subsequent generation has produced more banal & base representatives. Given the political vacuum left open after the fall of Nixon, they quickly ushered in a new generation of power brokers to off-set & inadvertently define politics within the US on their terms. Since this is an unelected position & they are only beholden to themselves, objectivity, accountability & a sense of decency were traded in for the possibility of the jackpot of all news stories, SCANDAL, & thus the birth of the modern investigative journalist.
After several generations of wielding the bludgeon of public opinion & aided by advances in communication technologies & the introduction of the 24 hour news cycle, this unopposed monopoly, like any population free from predators has overgrazed the landscape to the point that any story or air-time is morally equal & important. It is in this environment that the stories of Anna Nicole can out sell or seem more important than the senior Senator, from the most populous state, resigning in guilt or that the on-air & off camera reactions of Ware can not only exist, but be possible & held not only unaccountable but go unquestioned.
For like what Woodstock became, the modern reporter is the unadulterated product of generations so craven in their need to push or legitimize their own philosophies or beliefs, it is merely the promotion of an ideal or concept that counts & not the actual context or results that matter any longer. It is through this filter & the acquisition of perceived importance that members of the media define & view themselves. Hence the lack of questioning & out-right denial of the lack of creditability of Ware or his brand of “reporting.†Most probably see it as good journalism or something they themselves wish that they could do.
Much like Woodstock 89 & 94 represents the hypocritical but inevitable return of the Woodstock generation’s cultural & socio-political investments – a corporate sponsored, drug induced, violence laden, trade-marked brand of revolution w/ walls of ATMs – Ware merely reflects the end-result of the Woodward & Bernstein’s foray into political fueled, agenda driven media coverage, by accidentally striking gold & tainting the office of the Presidency. They made it alright for reporters to no longer report the news, but promote & become advocates tackling their perceived political & cultural nemesis under the banner of righteousness, while aiding their perceived allies.
Fueled even further by aiding in the out-right abandonment of financial, moral & militaristic responsibilities by rooting in favor of retreat, defeat & withdrawal in Vietnam, each subsequent generation has produced more banal & base representatives. Given the political vacuum left open after the fall of Nixon, they quickly ushered in a new generation of power brokers to off-set & inadvertently define politics within the US on their terms. Since this is an unelected position & they are only beholden to themselves, objectivity, accountability & a sense of decency were traded in for the possibility of the jackpot of all news stories, SCANDAL, & thus the birth of the modern investigative journalist.
After several generations of wielding the bludgeon of public opinion & aided by advances in communication technologies & the introduction of the 24 hour news cycle, this unopposed monopoly, like any population free from predators has overgrazed the landscape to the point that any story or air-time is morally equal & important. It is in this environment that the stories of Anna Nicole can out sell or seem more important than the senior Senator, from the most populous state, resigning in guilt or that the on-air & off camera reactions of Ware can not only exist, but be possible & held not only unaccountable but go unquestioned.
For like what Woodstock became, the modern reporter is the unadulterated product of generations so craven in their need to push or legitimize their own philosophies or beliefs, it is merely the promotion of an ideal or concept that counts & not the actual context or results that matter any longer. It is through this filter & the acquisition of perceived importance that members of the media define & view themselves. Hence the lack of questioning & out-right denial of the lack of creditability of Ware or his brand of “reporting.†Most probably see it as good journalism or something they themselves wish that they could do.
t/w: no standard91
Sorry about the double post, I guess those retarded pills I took earlier are kicking in. Amazingly enough little “a’s” arguments seem much clearer to me now.
t/w: soviet43
Wow, Pmain,
Is that your entry in this year’s Bad Limbaugh competition?
Ware just called McCain on his “Baghdad is safe for Americans to walk around in” B.S.
And ended McCain’s campaign.
That’s what jourrnalists are supposed to do, ask questions, remember?
You guys are nimrods for piling on Ware—though I can’t tell if maybe it’s all in good fun.
You don’t like McCain anyway. You seem to also think that this flak jacket stunt was idiotic and that he is a congential prevaricator to put it in Goldstinian terms. So you more or less agree with Ware anyway.
Though maybe I’m just misreading this, maybe you see Ware as a kindred spirit (you sure joke about your own drinking a lot, to your credit).
I think it is a general inclination to mock the bogus, Doug.
Hey, buddy. You don’t come into our house and tell us what WE’RE morons for.
I was careful to put a comma after bogus. What more can a man do?
How dare we make fun of an admitted alcoholic who claims to be telling us the TRVTH!!!
Feh. The left’s just pissed because we’re poking fun at one of their “heroes”.
dan,
Don’t you just adore a troll who can show up and do us the kindness of telling each of us everything we like, dislike, feel and believe?
When was Ware a pure journalist? If he’s on a show that asks for analysis, he gets to analyze, no? His analysis of McCain’s statements was: The guy’s nuts. What do you people want, some sort of old-style BBC reporter’s fecklessly-polite commentary mentioning that there may be some “controversy” regarding his comments?
McCain said something stupid, got called on it, then went out to prove Ware wrong. And then, 100 ground troops and three helicopters and two gunships totally undermined both McCain’s and almost every rose-colored glasswearers’ suggestion that things are getting better in Iraq. Lindsey Graham didn’t help much by turning it into some sort of across-the-globe shopping spree.
I thought only down-to-Earth everyday folk like Michael Jackson, Madonna, and Elton John went shopping like that.
jon, have you noticed how Ware, who says Westerners can’t walk around Baghdad, also says that he knows this from all the time he spends walking around Baghdad?
God protects drunks and fools, I suppose.
This guy is a coupla eight-balls and a legacy admissions preference away from being president. But that might not help. He’s too close to the shit. No need to worry too much about him. Its what would happen to any ole blogger if they spent that time in Iraq.
That certainly isn’t true, jon.
He said what McCain experienced was nothing new, and not the example of progress he should have given.
Ware said it would have been better to say the surge has been getting good results.
I like McCain, I’d rather he were the President now, instead of Bush, although I’ll vote for Rudy in 2008. I like Ware fine, but the man is a bundle of negativity. And he sounds like Crocodile Hunter.
This place has improved. The comments section is now among the most civil of the rightie blogs. I’m impressed.
A quick question: how many of you think McCain is nuts? I have to say I do, which pains me since I voted for him in the 2000 Republican primary (no kidding).
Not me, so much. I think he’s just a 24-karat phony. He gets one or two things right as far as I’m concerned, but even Bill Clinton had a couple of issues he wouldn’t give ground on.
Does “narcissist” count as “nuts”?
I don’t know about nuts. He goes off a lot, but I think it’s more poor communication skills than nutty. Maybe he sees it as straight shooting, but a smarter executive candidate would consider the wider effects of what he has to say and get his point out by saying differently. It makes him the republican version of Joe Biden. Neither men are unlatched, but both want to be president so badly that the logical contortions they go through to please their solid base without compromising their actual beliefs comes off as a touch incoherent to everyone else. Billy Jeff was a master prevaricator but also a master communicator and could say different thing to different people the same day, or even different things to the same people the next day, and be relatively safe doing so.
I wouldn’t vote to put anyone into the oval office so apt to dance any tune to get there. I never voted for Billy Jeff nor would I ever vote for his wife for the same reason. That said, I believe McCain has strong convictions and could be a strong president if he does get in.
I wouldn’t say it with certainty, but sometimes I wonder.
Pablo:
Maybe it has something to do with him not going alone, either. Ware never said it was impossible for an American to walk in Bagdad, just that you still need lots of security. If anyone has info that Ware goes pub crawling alone at night, please share. Until then, I’ll assume he goes with armed escorts.
I think Ware is wonderful. Maybe if more people in government tried to understand those who we are fighting against, the war would not be where it is today. He’s Australian and doesn’t care about the messed up US political system.