10. Phone numbers from hot ex-Deaniacs “willing to ride the K-train.”
9.  Richard Clarke’s soul
8. Sierra Club “Save Our Planet” keyring (with keys to 5 houses, 6 SUVs, 3 SeaDoos, and a luxury Winnebago)
7. Nude photos of Susan Sarandon (laminated). Nude photos of Janeane Garofalo (re-touched w/ ballpoint pen to add blouse, shoes).
6. Altoids (for Teddy Kennedy. In a pinch. Cause, y’know, he likes his scotch…)
5. A signed copy of Coming Home on DVD
4. Joshua Micah Marshall
3. France
2. A shitload of Teresa Heinz’s money
1. A hole, his fist, and a lot of fond disco-era memories…
Bushie can’t hold a candle to John Kerry and when Kerry wins in November you and your moronic Warblogger buddies will be sorry.
you and your moronic Warblogger buddies will be sorry.
Well, just so long as Tim Robbins is happy. And that Zapatero guy. Then all will be right with the world.
Ah, Linda – if wishing could only make it so…
Kerry has approximately the same chance as that frog in Frogger with a clumsy and mildly spastic 2-year-old at the controls.
Yes, but more importantly, which pockets is John Kerry currently in? And will a list of ten be enough to cover them all?
In the back pocket:
1. “Either way, I told you so!” bumper sticker.
2. Note to Terry McAuliff: Never invite Al Gore to a Democratic Unity Dinner again!
3. Note to self: Be sure to use the “Who among us…does not enjoy…NASCAR?” line again.
Then there’s Reverend Al’s Answering machine….
“Hi it’s Kyan Douglas the Grooming Guru of the Fab Five. We’d like to include you in a QEONTSG Celebrity Makeover Month. Call me! Ciao…”…beep
“Al? It’s Carol. Is it a white man’s world or what? First Dean, then Kerry?!?!? They can’t do better than that?”….beep
“Reverend Sharpton? It’s the front desk. There’s a problem with your credit card.”…beep
“Bushie can’t hold a candle to John Kerry and when Kerry wins in November you and your moronic Warblogger buddies will be sorry.”
Oh man, do we have to go back to the camps again?
But personally, I’m looking forward to the top 10 things found in Teresa’s purse. Would John’s balls be two items or one?
Funny you mention that, Charles. My original #1 was “Not his balls,” but I didn’t feel like listening to people express feigned outrage and then cite Kerry’s Vietnam record at me. So I relented.
Did you mean to give us a double-shot of Susan Sarandon, or is that some wry humor that I don’t get?
Oops. Fixed.
(climbing onto seat for support after having fallen to floor in writhing laughter) That was good!
Linda F., darling, if Mr. Kerry wins, we will ALL be sorry.
What is Linda doing visiting this blog? I’d think she’d be seeking the security blanket of the ex-Dean and Kerry blogs. Liberals normally only find security in associating with their weird cohortsl….has something to do with inferiority complexes I’m told….