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Am I a Member of the EU? [Dan Collins]

And you’ll never find me dating Dan Collins, or anyone like him ever again. I hope I’m able to meet someone who is really and truly available, and I want to be the same way if that time ever comes.

Meh.  I can live with it.

29 Replies to “Am I a Member of the EU? [Dan Collins]”

  1. Paul Zrimsek says:

    I’m really tickled by how she starts with

    How could I tell? His total lack of realism in what he was looking for in a mate.

    and ends up dreaming of the guy who will be Emotionally Available* in a way none of the other guys have been.

    *I assume this is shorthand for “Never stops talking.”

  2. Pablo says:

    Wow, Google is offering free wireless broadband in your home!

    Sign up today!

    tw: science51

  3. McGehee says:

    Funny, but I would have concluded the author of that “EU” post is one of those needy, clingy females that drive normal guys to ordering male-order brides from Asia.

  4. Dan Collins says:

    Does it work if you have a mound system?

  5. Pablo says:

    I don’t know about that, but I can tell you there’s nothing like getting a great big upload done.

  6. commander0 says:

    Whatever will you do if all the perimenopausal women with decades of psychotherapy get together and refuse to date you?  Why, you might even have to date a normal human being.  Ohh shivers

    easy72 Not likely

  7. Aldo says:

    Yikes!  She’s on to us!

  8. furriskey says:

    Forget her, Dan. She’s not worth it…

    pw her16 yeah, right-

  9. SGT Ted says:

    She seems to be the type that is seeking not a man, but a girlfriend with a penis and no tits.

  10. furriskey says:

    You can get those in PatPong

  11. JHoward says:

    I assume this is shorthand for “Never stops talking.”

    I don’t know about you but in and among the epidemic of emotionally unavailable women out there, I’m really drawn to the self-victimizing, psychotherapized, newly-enlightened, self-congratulatory parent-blamer.  With hormonal issues, gender blinders and the slightest tinge of narcissiblogism.

    Because that needy is so attractive.  Well, and because I’m an EU.

    tw: face53

  12. Pablo says:

    I’m more of an FO.

  13. Whitney says:

    That woman’s post literally put me to sleep.  Some kind of Pavlovian conditioned response thing.

  14. Merovign says:

    To translate from the linked article:

    “Why am I the only NORMAL person, and everyone else is so screwed up?”

    Not that there isn’t a gem of truth about expectations there, simultaneously acknowledged and ignored…

  15. Bill D. Cat says:

    I’d gone back to psychotherapy last May to figure out what I was doing wrong when it came to men .

    Think make-over ……

  16. “Emotionally Unavailable” translated into English means “dares to occasionally think of their own needs.”

  17. Aldo says:

    I’m waiting for the update, where she ties EU syndrome back to the climate of fear and repression under the Bush regime.

  18. Spiny Norman says:

    Good Lord. That picture she has posted screams out, “I have ISSUES! Hear me squeak!”

    Could she have found something less flattering?

  19. Why, you might even have to date a normal human being.

    At least until his wife finds out.  ba-dum-dah!

    Thank you!  I’ll be here all week.  Try the spotted owl.

  20. thor says:

    Once I began to put the pieces together, I was both fascinated and repulsed.

    Huh, I didn’t think assembly would be required on a mail-ordered ball-gag.  I learn something new everyday here in PW.

  21. commander0 says:

    At least until his wife finds out.  ba-dum-dah!

    Well that’s a little bit more than “emotionally unavailable”

  22. Cythen says:

    Her article seems like a lot of whining over nothing in particular, and I feel that I should send a bill for the unjust mileage put on my retinas.

    Maybe if she actually enjoyed sex, the guy would be less “emotionally unavailable”.  Just my two cents.  wink

  23. RiverCocytus says:

    There’s an old phrase:

    “I Respect the emotional availability of strippers.”

    Funny thing is, when I read her post, she never says ‘what’ EU actually is, just vaguely links it to a bunch of problems in her life, which are somehow in turn solved in turn by Psychotherapy, acupuncture, and self-medication (probably shrooms) and yet we never find out what EU really is or what ‘Emotionally Available is’ or the state of being cured of EU.

    In short, my BS-o-meter was on 5-alarm mode during the whole thing. I could hardly read!

  24. RiverCocytus says:

    Also, as it turns out, I can hardly write.

    C’est la vie.

  25. Well, my reflexologist’s office was totally out of wack Feng Shui wise, so I had my Crystal Therapist do some Theraputic Touch over my cell phone while I was on my way to my Tai Chi class. 

    I’ll be saving a bunch of money on that once I get my Diploma in alchemy.

    She sounds like a real catch Dan, open your organs, and let her in!

  26. furriskey says:

    She looks like the madwoman from Little Britain.

  27. Slartibartfast says:

    Been self-Googling again, Dan?

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  28. Dan Collins says:

    Please, slart.  I try to maintain a modicum of decorum here.

  29. Phinn says:

    “Emotionally Unavailable” translated into English means “dares to occasionally think of their own needs.”

    I think another translation for “Emotionally Unavailable” is “He’s just not that into you.”

    “Using you for sex” also works.

Comments are closed.