yin: “You know what? If you like single malt Scotch so much, I’m willing to give it a try, too. After all, if we soulmates can’t sample each other’s passions, what are we doing together in the first place, you know? So go ahead and pour me a glass. I’m game.”
yang: “Well, I appreciate the thought, honey, really I do. But the thing is, if I’d have known you were thinking about dipping into my single malts, I would have dumped you years ago for some 20-year-old sociology major who is happy with frozen Pina Coladas, and who thinks Levi’s cutoffs with no underwear is a powerful feminist statement meant to frustrate the stodginess of the patriarchy.
“Bless her dumb little heart…”
Let me know how that work out.
My guess is: not well
Can I get an, “AMEN!!!”
At the risk of sounding all Christofascisty.
However, being Catholic, I’m comfortable with that.
Tonight’s Scotch of choice: Aberlour a’ bunadh. Goes great with the Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds.
God only knows.
Someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight…..
Reason #5 for why I bought the bed and the sofa.
She doesn’t like it, she knows where the floor is.
Not familiar with that one.
Verdict?
Other than the domestic disturbance call, I mean.
My wife has made some real powerful commando statements after getting into the Gran Centenario tequila… the little skirt is a nice touch
So now I hide it (the tequila, damn that Marine bastard) where she can find it
I thought he was listening to Pet Sounds, not Captain Fantastic …..
Yeah, I let my wife drink my single malts. She likes them straight up.
Ah, passionate advocacy for all that is good—backfires!
Which is not to say that I acknowledge any advantage, in any way, shape, or form, of Scotch over Bourbon.
Mark, if you are going to say stupid things, we’re going to have to give the key to the gun locker back to the ‘dillo.
I’m not worried wishbone, it’s only Thursday, after all…
Aberlour a’bunadh is a Speyside, and, to be honest, is non-descript. I mean, it has a bit of a bite, but not so much to be overpowering—and it is not mellow enough to stand out.
It is, for certain occasions, then, the perfect single malt: it is unobtrusive and serves the purpose of making you warm inside without drawing a whole lot of pretentious attention to itself.
I accidentally got my S.O. hooked on the good stuff, and ever since, I’ve been on a quest for a Scotch so Scotch-y, that tastes so much like sucking on the alcohol-suspended skull of a peat mummy, that maybe she won’t steal half of it, and I can keep a bottle for…I don’t know…two days. It’s not gonna work.
[Big red heart goes here.]
That pleasant glow means you’re not drinking enough. You’ll know you’ve had the right amount when the sound of a glockenspiel fills you with genocidal rage.
Sometimes the Greenwald jokes are just unavoidable, folks.
And, yes, Jeff-I think you do it on purpose.
Should I ever be in the greater Denver area again, I’ll be sure to bring the Brian Wilson action figure my Dad got me for Christmas.
One more observation:
PW is the ONLY place you get this:
Followed by this:
Followed by a reference to a Brian Wilson action figure.
Followed by anxious sucking sounds, as the corner of the pillow case becomes saturated with saliva…Good times…..
BoZ: Laphroaig, cask strength. To the novice, it’s like eating out a druid princess.
Yeah, I said it. BRING IT ON, DRUIDS!
It’s sunk to this:
Druid taunting.
Druid taunting…Now thats just wicca’d
Druid taunting? Hmmm.
Perfect timing for a “Single Malt Scotch thread”. At this precise moment, I’m enjoying an especially tasty Speyside (well, a Lossie actually): Longmorn.
Jeff: you like to live dangerously.
Boz: Tasting notes
Mucked out barn, iodine and burned rubber. Chicks are sure to hate it.
Is there a preposition missing there? The sentence is befuddling me…
He turned her every wicca way but loose…
Whiskey but not scotch, tonight it’s Eagle Rare 101, Louisiana bottling (probably a mid-90s bottling). One of the last of the Stitzel-Weller bourbons, IMO it’s a bit better than the current Eagle Rare Single Barrel.
There’s still a few knocking about Texas if you can find them.
I gots me a bottle of Val-U-Rite vodka, which is best when swigged right out of the bot–Oops, wrong blog!
Already tried Maker’s Mark. Didn’t like it.
By the way, has Marcotte seen this post yet? Because something tells me she isn’t gonna like it…..
As do the dudes in Beat Off Frenzy apparently.
straight?
and up.
Hmmmm.
That explains the dessicated corpses of over a hundred doves in my back yard…
OHNOES–
Let me put it this way: this is a process the Druid princess is likely to enjoy immensely, and one every straight man should know how to undertake.
Makes you wonder about the whole mistletoe thing. Using the American pronunciation, obviously.
I had a friend one time and his girlfiend told him
So he shot her.
EAT! EAT! EAT!
Have the brumskie and motorboat completely lost all of their appeal?
She’s left-handed.
Ok al – you peal the motorboat, I’ll peal the princess…..
TW: Alright….all you Druid princess’s assume the position….
See, that’s why I like cigars. As I heard one comedian say (paraphrase, of course), “It’s not that we like smoking cigars. It’s just our way of getting the women out of the damn room.”
cranky-d,
Trade up to Booker’s, Baker’s, or Basil Hayden’s. Not inexpensive, but much better than Maker’s Mark.
Sort of like moving from Johnnie Walker Red to JW Gold. Much more expensive but you can now drink it straight.
I thought a princess of Druidia was a Druish Princess, did I miss a memo?
BTW, shouldn’t an action figure of Brian Wilson be in bed with the covers pulled over his head?
I have to admit, I think Brian Wilson has made a marvelous recovery. Have you seen him on Fox News?
“I’ve been on a quest for a Scotch so Scotch-y, that tastes so much like sucking on the alcohol-suspended skull of a peat mummy, that maybe she won’t steal half of it, and I can keep a bottle for…I don’t know…two days. It’s not gonna work.”
Sounds like Laphroig to me.
Ah, shoot, should have read the whole thread first….
”…and who thinks Levi’s cutoffs with no underwear is a powerful feminist statement meant to frustrate the stodginess of the patriarchy.”
You mean it’s not?! Damn.
Sounds more like Lagavulin. God, I love that stuff.
And denying the greatness that is Maker’s Mark is anathama!
Then let’s put it this way: I don’t like it, so there’s more for you.
Ok, single malt Scotch fans (or people that just like expensive hooch), help a brother out. I would like to try this thing, you call single malt Scotch. Are there any suggestions for a single malt virgin to break his cherry to? I’ve done a little independent research, but for some reason, I trust you guys to NOT steer me wrong. Since I am a COMPLETE newbie to the simgle malt scene, I am looking for a nice entry that is not too expensive. I realize that I will have to spend at least $40 to $50 for that first bottle, but that’s ok. I want to be wowed. Any suggestions would be much appreciated!
Polish: depends on what you like. Most blended Scotches have a base of single malt. If you like Johnny Walker, try Cardhu or Talisker. If you are a Chivas Regal drinker, try Glenfiddich or Glenlivet.
Wikipedia—Scotch Whisky
Wikipedia—Sinle Malt Scotch Whisky
<sniff> I love you guys…
Laphroaig is the nectar of the Celtic gods. And I’m a chick, Robert Schwartz. Nyah, nyah, nyah.
The other night, I got home from a church meeting and my husband appeared from somewhere or other holding a glass of Scotch. Earlier that day, knowing we were almost out of my single malt, I’d been fiscally responsible and picked up a bottle of Irish to tide us over until the next “whisky day!!1!” in the budget cycle; however, I’d been filling up in the dark the evening before and I knew he’d had one after my last, and I didn’t know if we’d left the bottle empty or not. (We have one of those tot-dispensers you see in pubs, where the bottle fits upside-down onto a spigot kind of thing and you press the glass up against a—never mind; if you’ve seen one, you know what I mean, and if you haven’t, it’s too complicated. Suffice it to say you don’t have to see your glass to get a drink.) So anyway, wanting a whiskey myself and trying to save motions by not going aaalllll the way to the living room if I could just fill up in the kitchen where I’d left the Powers, I asked, “Did you get that from the living room or–”
He looked sheepish and immediately said, “Sorry, that’s your good stuff, isn’t it?” Poor guy. He actually thought I wouldn’t let him have any. I’ve always been generous with my whiskey and have only hidden a bottle from him once. (Laphroaig, as it happens. And then I relented, let him taste it, and he didn’t like it. But he likes really great tequilas, which I can’t stand, so fair enough.)
PolishNizel —
You really should buy at least two bottles so that you can begin learning the difference. I think the Balvenie DoubleWood is a great mild Scotch—hints of vanilla, very smooth. Hereabouts it runs $36. For the flip side, Laphroaig or Lagavulin will both introduce you to peat. Laphroaig is less expensive; I like the cask strength. Lagavulin 16 is quite a bit smoother, though, if you can afford it. It runs about $65 here.
Robert, thanks for the links. I forgot about wiki to do my research. Thanks again.
Jeff, thanks for the suggestions. A friend of mine, who mostly drinks Johnny Walker, but is by no means an aficionado, suggested the Lagaluvin also. Maybe, like you suggested, I should get two different offerings for comparison’s sake. My wife loves me and wants me happy, so she should understand. Anyhow, thanks again for the suggestions. Maybe after I have broken my single malt cherry, I’ll give a little report. Cheers!