Hmmmm.  Turns out blow jobs are sex, after all.

….an English teacher at Horace Mann High School in North Fond du Lac, was formally charged with 10 counts of sexual assault of a student by school staff and 10 counts of child enticement.

Newly appointed District Attorney Michael O’Rourke had requested that intake Judge Robert Wirtz set cash bail at $25,000, noting the severity of the crime.

Burman, of Oshkosh, also a track and cross country coach at Horace Mann, is accused of carrying on a sexual relationship with a female student who was 17years old at the time and a senior at Horace Mann during the 2005-06 school year and again, recently, when the former student returned to the area, according to a criminal complaint.

She numbered their sexual encounters at more than 70 and said the encounters occurred almost daily in Burman’s classroom during a period in which she was supposed to be in study hall, the complaint said…..The former student told detectives that she told Burman no when it came to “actual sex and intercourse” and that she performed oral sex on him outside of school only.

If you’re not used to noodling through the bad writing of modern “journalists,” at first blush those last two sentences seem contradictory.  Or maybe they are, in which case it’s just bad reporting.  What I got out of that was that they only engaged in, you know, heavy petting in the classroom.  She waited until they were off school grounds to practice her Monica skills.  The creep probably didn’t have to convince her it wasn’t sex.

Speaking of Monica, I’m not going to sit here and blame Bubba for the widespread acceptance among women under 25 of perhaps the greatest scam in history, the idea that gargling with a guy’s crank ain’t sex.  I rather think he was just the most obvious example of a cultural shift that’s taken place.  That and the fact that he had a vested interest in pretending it wasn’t sex, of course.  All of you bubbleheads who have bought into that, ask a guy if he thinks it’s sex.  It has to be a guy who knows that he has no chance of getting in your pants, though, otherwise he’ll just lie.  Better yet, a guy who doesn’t want to get in your pants.  You must have some gay friends.  Ask them if they think blow jobs are sex.