I read with great satisfaction this story about the NCAA forcing the University of Illinois to drop its racist team mascot, Chief Illiniwek. This welcome development was mostly due to the tireless work of the same attorney who has been pursuing the Washington Redskins for the past few years. In the spirit of this important ruling, I offer my own abbreviated list of offensive team mascots that need to be purged:
S.F. 49ers Named after a group of white men who plundered the pristine West in the greedy pursuit of gold and unfettered profit. Do we really want our children thinking that this is acceptable behavior?
Detroit Tigers Marginalizing a beautiful, endangered creature. We should be trying to raise consciousness about the plight of these animals, rather than associating them with a bunch of scratching, spitting jocks.
Oakland Raiders The original terrorists, who raped and subjugated women. When they looted and pillaged innocent towns and villages, women and minorities were always hardest hit, not to mention that their logo is offensive to one-eyed people.
Green Bay Packers Named after the meat-packing industry, which forces Bovine-Americans into concentration camps and then brutally murders them. Could also be interpreted as being offensive to the gay community.
This is just a short list of the offensive team names in this racist, sexist country. I have no doubt that the sensitive readers at this thankfully progressive site can come up with a more complete list of names to add to this action agenda.
What about Vikings?
Notre Dame “Fighting Irish”
A high school near me is “Home of the Thundering Trojans”.
Cleveland “Browns”
Obviously, “Texans” needs to go. Such redneck cowboy iconography (Oh, let’s don’t forget the Cowboys) is the obvious cause of Islamic extremism and America’s declining image throughout the world.
We’ll never pass the global test while we’re saddled with these hicks. Do it For The Childrenâ„¢!
New Your Yankees.
Need I say more?
There are more tigers in the United States than in any other country on the planet.
…so do they count as “indigenous species” or “horrible ecological import?”
Personally, I’d drop all of the team names in favor of direct corporate sponsorship, not unlike what’s found in racing.
I could easily see a future (NFL Championship Game)[1] featuring, say, “Microsoft” vs. “Coca Cola”. Or how about a (MLB Championship Series)[1] featuring “Toyota” vs. “General Electric”.
[1] Names deleted to keep the lawyers at bay…
Don’t leave out the Atlanta Falcons. Why haven’t they updated that name? Ford discontinued the Falcon years ago. They should be the Atlanta Focus (Foci?) by now.
MLB’s Angels. We can’t have such blatant Godspeak when there is no equivalent for the atheists, Bhuddists, Muslims and of course, the JOOOOOOOOOOz.
>>A high school near me is “Home of the Thundering Trojansâ€Â.<<
Oh. I know them. Prevent defense, right? Bends, doesn’t break?
The Carolina Hurricanes. Their name only maligns those who suffered through KATRINA! at the hands of Bushco and their FEMA lapdogs.
Classic!
Andrew Sullivan must simply be steaming over the Chicago “Bears.”
I thought the Green Bay Packers was validation of the gay lifestyle. My bad!
Giants is sizeist.
New England Patriots is an oxymoron.
Yeah, but what does he think about the Seattle “C-Hawks”?
The Cleveland Indians, as their name is derogatory to, um, well, y’know Indians.
Used to be that it was only redundant. Those were the days…
I thought Green Bay Packers were named…after Fudge packers? am I wrong?
New Orleans Saints .. what with what Jeebus did to N’awlins avec Katrina!!!
No more homage to the big bag in the sky after that.
I vote for the New Orleans Mullatos.
The Unversity of South Carolina Gamecocks.
Insulting to yardbirds of the rooster variety and male porn-stars.
I have watched all this, slightly bemused, slightly pissed off. As an alumnus (BA and MA) of the U of IL I can tell you that they are going to take a bit of a hit in the alumni wampum giving…oops, did I say that outloud?
I guess being able to host that gymnastics championship or field hockey playoff game is worth it, huh?
The Packers were named for pickle packers. Hence the Green and Yellow motif.
Speaking of gay community, wasn’t Jeff Dahmer just down the road in Milwaukee?
I remember back in the old days when the Oilers played the Packers. It was exquisite.
Back in the day, we had the Washington Caps.
(Laugh, damn it.)
And “Blue Jays” is the subtlest of Zionist psyops.
How about the San Diego
FOR THE PATRIARCHY!
Padres.
Come to think of it, I might have to start pulling for them.
Columbus Blue Jackets. It discriminates againts jackets of all other colors in the closet.
It is kind of disappointing that the Native American community seems to be so very determined to limit their presence in the public mind to casinos alone.
The Cleveland LeBrons is offensive to everyone who’s not a basketball-playing cyborg from the year 2525.
Valparaiso University Crusaders.
Wacky Lutherans.
I went to a very conservative(religiously) Bible college with the team name Spartans. I still wonder how that happened.
BRD,
As I understand it, the Natives in Illinois are completely cool with the dignified tradition Illiniwek represents. It’s all about the NCAA withholding games based on their assumption that any display of Native American culture associated with the “white man’s” sports must be mockery.
TW: Glad I learned55 that before moving to TX
And then, of course, there’s my St Louis RAMS.
An obvious patriarchical, misogynistic ploy to oppress the EWES! OMG… EWES… JOOZ… I’m beginning to see a pattern here…
Maybe we could balance things out by making the next NFL expansion team the “Dearborn Imams”, now that would be a fun mascot. They could behead an infidel at halftime, and the fourth quarter “call to jihad” would be awesome.
We must not forget the fighting Blue Hens at the University of Delaware. This noble subspecies of bird is now alas extinct. I believe that the last one was turned into plastic by the evil Karl Rove and served to unsuspecting troops in Iraq by Dubya.
I don’t know about your children but my children are demanding to know where all the fucking Indians are.
They see indians disappearing all across the land.
No more Sioux, and I include the Dakota, Lakota and Sasquatch, no more sniling indian faces on baseball caps.
Its genocide, on a promotional material basis.
God, please, no – there are already soccer uniforms that have “Bimbo” emblazoned across the front. And Kroenke Sports Enterprises was kind enough to sell the naming rights to the new stadium for the Colorado Rapids to Dick’s Sporting Goods. If a sport that most of you regard as a pansy pastime can elicit that much sexual innuendo without even trying, can you imagine what would happen with football?
We need to find a race hospitible to being used in cute mascot like ways. I understand the negroes may be available…for a cool 10g’s a month.