Wait, does this mean I’m oppressing myself? Or does it mean I’m freeing myself from institutionalized patriarchal oppression. Because to be honest, I’d hate to think I’ve become a tool of the patriarchy—particularly if it means I’m going to have to a) suffer under the boot heel of my own misogyny, or b) feel the emancipated sting of rebuke to my culturally-conditioned phallocentrism. Seriously. A fella can only be so limber.
That’s it. Time I had a nice long talk with my laundry basket. She’ll straighten this out for me, I’m sure of it.
Developing…
ROBOTS ARE PEOPLE TOO!
um, if it’s causing you that much trouble you could send it here.
anyway, for me the robotic vacuum just shows that my mother in law hates me. because I almost always get the same gift for christmas as the other daughter in law, but not this year! nope, no robot vacuum for maggie, she has to keep aggitating her carpal-tunnel wrists to keep the carpets clean.
So if the robot finds red pills behind the couch, do you think it will share?
You know Jeff, if she’d go only so far as to admit to equal parts of dementia between the genders, even I’d cut this fraud some slack.
Single male friends of mine, tongues firmly wedged in cheeks, didn’t coin They’re Simply Not Peopleâ„¢ for no reason. Speaking of baskets, let’s not get started on diapers.
The diff is us guys lampoon our foibles. The Genderist Other? <Crickets.> It pays too well. And Marcotte just executed a perfect Unassisted Free Laughingstock to boot.
No sense of humor; no meaningful perspective. Only Edwards could deserve being this poorly served.
Better to be a tool of the patriarchy then to be, you know, a tool.
BECAUSE OF THE CARPET LINT!!
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I’d say you could send the vacuum my way but I’d just have to listen to my two idiot dogs alternate between barking ferociously at it and whimpering/thundering away from it whenever it came within 2 feet of them.
And, Lord knows, I don’t need that kind of a headache.
As for your problem, I say don’t worry about it and do NOT, under any circumstances, consult the laundry basket. She’ll complain about the lack of attention she receives until you NEED her and what about her needs. Eventually she’ll end up locking herself in the bathroom, sobbing hysterically, and threatening to O/D on Tylenol PM Vanilla caplets and Robitussin.
<time out on the bickering … Do those things really work? I’ve been wanting one, but thinking it too good to be true. … back in play>
I’ll let you know, blondie. I’m too terrified to take it out of the box just now.
It’s eyes—they pierce my very soul!
Yes, they do, blondie. But that’s what God made women for, ain’t it?
/patriarchy off
Wouldn’t it be cool if the Roomba could do stairs?
Uhoh, how soon til you find a certain non-dancing varmint hopped up on vodka-redbulls humping that robotvac?
Once you’ve let it roam the carpet a couple of times, it’s time for some real fun.
– Robotussin – Robots get colds? – Who knew….
– As far as Cox, Marcotte, Hampshire, ect, the proletariat of the FemiNazi movement, Edwards is trying to outflank Hillary by tying up that roughly 5% of the electorate that makes 98% of the noise. In a close race a few 100,000 well placed votes could do it for Him, or at least so the thinking goes.
– As for the ironies, expect them to be flying around like frizbies gone wild, where they each take a position, her assuring the brain dead gaggle that he really is a died in the wool Socialist, and Him running around wooing the bible thumpers and neocons. They can just do the old “plausible deniability” ploy, back and forth like a political ping pong match. I mean, lets face it. When you jetisan all forms of temperate logical thinking, and turn to pure “touchy feely” emotion, altering words, meanings, and context as you go, all things are possible. The desperation of those out of power in action.
– Laundry baskets should have rollers and pull handles, and be named Mandy.
We’ve got both a Roomba and a Scooba, and they both rock. Of course, that’s why al Qaeda hates me.
Seriously, if you don’t have one, get one. Woot sells the damn things about once a week, and always a good price there, no?
I want the samurai sword wielding robot. None of these pansy vacuum cleaners for me.
Is it practical? Of course not, but I want it. What does practical have to do with anything?
Edwards can’t possible use 20,000 square feet. My daughter’s girlfriend doesn’t need 358 pairs of shoes. What would we be without aspirations.
I’d tell my insurance company it’s a burglar alarm and get a discount. It is too practical. Besides, I just want it.
Christmas, 2007. It’s on my list.
Patriarchy?
When did the Kzin invade? ‘Cause, I’m like so outta here if them big kittys are around.
BBH,
It’s laundry basket that O/D’s on Robitussin, not the Roomba.
Who ever heard of a vacuuming robot getting a cold?
Get those robot vacuum cleaners now before the price goes up! John Edwards is working up a class action suit on behalf of 1,245 people who claim that their Roombas, through inaction, allowed them to come to harm.
Oh, and 150,000 other people who are perfectly OK with their Roombas but who threw out the opt-out form in the belief that it was yet another unsolicited credit-card application.
If there’s any kind of sting in your phallocentrism, it may come from using a sucking machine in unmentionable ways, even if you CAN place your beer on it’s flat head. . .
Actually, Edwards is planning a class-action suit on behalf of all those cleaning ladies whom the Roomba has put out of work.
Then he’s planning a class-action suit against those who employ cleaning ladies on the grounds that making a living cleaning up someone else’s mess is inherently demeaning and an offense against human dignity. He’ll be calling Barbara Ehrenreich as an expert witness.
When the cleaning ladies get laid off because people start cleaning their own homes, he’ll pass a bill providing them with permanent federal assistance, paid for by a tax on homeowners and justified by the notion that if those rich homeowners just weren’t so darned greedy, they’d pony up a few bucks to help a poor but hardworking American cleaning lady get ahead rather than selfishly vaccuming their own carpets.
One way or another, that income is going to get redistributed from those who earned it to those who vote Democrat.
Hey, I’d be careful with these robot vacuum cleaners, and be especially wary about letting the little fella hump ‘em.
Two words, man:
Cy-lon.
Jim ,
It’ll be shortly after the suck / blow , red pill / oral satisfaction trade-off the little fella’s legend depends on.
I wouldn’t bring one of those hoovering Daleks into my home.
Gad. To think people pay tuition and get credit-hours for regurgitating that crap.
You actually bought one of those?
C’mon. You’re pulling our chain. Why would anyone buy one of those when they have a perfectly good wife?
Your going to need superglue. I know I did last time I opressed a robot with my penis.
Hey, I said penis again.
Penis penis penis.
I just saw an airport cop on a segway, that’s kinda like a roomba but instead of sucking dirt it just tells wookies to stop sleeping across all of the seats in the gate.
Bless the roombacops.
A robot to clean the carpet…. I like the idea.
Next they need to attach a vagina and teach it how to cook.
They just don’t make women like they used to…..
No offense to you ladies out there that would make my grandmother proud. God bless all of you.
You know who you are.
Help! Help! I’m being oppressed by my masses!
Now wait a minute…
I find that my roomba does not save any time, as I tend to follow it around the house, slack jawed, saying “This…is…so…AWESOME!”
They are cylons, though. Video Evidence.
Just as long as you don’t call it “Asimov”, Jeff.
I hear Edwards has a cock on him like a horse. A sea-horse, that is….
I definitely want to get one of those hot chick sex-robots they’ve long been promising us–but ONLY when they become self-cleaning.
You’re gonna love yer Roomba, Jeff. Me sainted mother says watching hers beats the shit out of the View and judge shows.
And if you have a cat or neurotic little barking rat it will freak them OUT.
Funny comment, I must say.
SCREAM AND POUNCE!
Thanks, mojo, that’s the best smile I’ve had all week.
It’s a trick question—Phallocentric gynophobic patriarchy is oppressing both you and the Roomba.
Duh.
I mean, really—it’s the answer to every question, after all.
Nah; it just means you’re turning into a lazy s.o.b.
I’ve got two Schedulers (one for the dining room, one for the kitchen) from H-S, with the Diaper Change signals and all, and one of the old red Roombas for the small rooms (German Shepherds shed hair like a Democrat Policy sheds money), and a Friendly Vac 400 to clean the living room rug with (it’s an honest-to-God vacuum cleaner, and it runs on two motorcycle batteries). The best thing about them is that they clean while the house is not in use.
And, yeah, they’re fun to watch: I used to wander around crashing into stuff like that, back when I used to drink….
(And, Lost Dog? Jeff is the wife….)
My Roomba’s name is Joe (after my son’s dead spider), and we’re seriously considering putting googly eyes and hair on him. You’re definitely going to want the docking station and a remote.
Joe made a HUGE difference in the cleanliness level of my house – not only does he make sure the floors are clean enough for my kids to roll around on without getting hair from the five furred beasties, but I’ve started doing a better job of picking up so that Joe can get around to do his job.
My 11-month-old daughter feeds Joe rice puffs the same way she feeds the dog – she hangs out in her exersaucer and throws rice puffs in front of Joe whenever he drives by. Joe must be smarter than my daughter, because he knows not to fall down the stairs.
His slightly retarded brother, Cody (named after my son’s imaginary friend Cody Rody Toady), is not quite as cool. Cody is only supposed to stay on hard floors but he gets stuck on the carpet more often than not, and I’m too lazy to put up the electric walls. Plus Cody runs out of fluid about every half hour, so he can’t be left unattended for very long. And Joe generally has to do a quick run on the kitchen floors before Cody can – with all the bits that kids and pets drop, Cody’s itty bitty filter gets clogged too quickly. Plus he doesn’t leave the floor as dry as advertised.
TW: hands61, yes, that’s how many I’d need to keep the floors as clean as Joe does.
Ditto my wife. I think for the same reason she used to run around the day before the weekly housecleaners were scheduled to come, back when we had a weekly housecleaning service. She couldn’t bear to have the cleaning people see a dirty house.
Now she can’t bear to have a housecleaning robot see a dirty house.
Hmmm.
@ Jeff
Now if you had a t-shirt, or in this kind of crappy weather a hoodie, with the phrase “Vaginal Supremecist” on it, you wouldn’t have these existential maunderings.
You know. ‘Cause you’d be both “Vaginal” and … well … “Supreme”!
Like chocolate and peanut butter, they go together.
We’ve named our Roomba “Gidget”. She’s now 18 months old. Word to the wise—keep the box. You’ll be needing it for the rather frequent trips it’ll be taking to and from the factory in PA. About every 3 months she needs to go home to have her nerves settled. Some kind of a 12-step, I’m guessing.
On the bright side, iRobot’s customer service is the best and most accomodating I’ve ever dealt with. Never any issues with getting you what you need….