Q: Why did the Neocon cross the road?
a. To push over an old woman and take away her healthcare subsidies
b. To beat those Dixie Chicks traitors with a tire iron
c. Because, though he was really hungry for the blood of an innocent brown person, he decided to settle for some McNuggets and a medium Diet Coke
d. THE MONIED JEWS TOLD HIM TOO!
e. To burn down a Planned Parenthood, deny battered women a voice, and further the aims of the Christofascist Patriarchy
f. all of the above
g. none of the above
h. don’t even look at me, you same-sex married homosexual gay fag
Cause it was the right thing to do.
He didn’t cross the road. The road crossed him.
h. BECAUSE HE IS TAKING HIS CONSERVATIVE BASE FOR GRANTED!
Because he was looking for the next bullshit reason to pin the failure of Iraq on “libruls” instead of himself where it really belongs.
He didnt cross the road. He conquered it.
Aravosis was vowing to out him.
There was a dime in the ditch on the other side.
Or: “To get to his country club.”
~ tap tap tap ~
It looks like President Bush will be the first President since President Clinton to run a negative deficit during his administration.
Clearly, that man cannot do anything right. Though for a chimp his thumbs are pretty damn opposable.
Halliburton.
Halliburton.
Halliburton.
OMG! “Libruls”!
Anybody hear beside our troll ever use that spelling except to mock the cartooned version of “neocons” that the troll himself obviously holds?
Christ, he’s the performative punchline for this entire post, and he was too stupid even to see it coming…
Yeah, but… that’s entertainment!
Christ, he’s …
How do you that I’m not a womyn?
Anyone ever tell you you look like George Harrison?
Golly, what is the singular for “womyn”? Dan must know since he uses the word in every other post (in a non cartoonish way of course).
It’s like kine. Same in singular and plural.
– Israel made him do it.
– The Olin Foundation funded the trip, which would have used Dick Cheney’s private plane if it had entailed actualy flying.
– Because he’s part of a godbag christophile theocratic dominionist white supremacist plan, and the white lines looked like God juice. (Just look at all a them white feathers…racist chicken!)
– Because he knew George Bush would follow.
– Stop picking on Nancy Pelosi. You must hate grandmothers and children.
– To screw the workers.
– To screw the voters.
– Because, like Jonah Goldberg, he needed to lose weight, but unlike Jonah, thought he’d get some exercise instead of being fed bon-bons and being carried around on a platform chair by former Juggs models all day
– Because tarmac is made out of OOOOIIIIIIILLLLLL!
– To demonstrate his dual-loyalty to the pope. (It’s complicated – it involves Nazis, George Prescott Bush’s matzo company, and the Masons. Josh Marshall is waiting for some news on this front that will be biiiig, huge, once his source (Jason Leopold) comes through with the info.
– To avoid indictment
TW: Let14 be 14.
Oh, my. Relentlessly negative press coverage couldn’t possibly have anything at all to do with public perceptions of Iraq, right? Pay no attention to the fact that John Kerry and al Zawahiri appear to share the same speechwriter. Not that I’m questioning their patriotism, of course.
Beautiful!!
Another witty troll chock full of delicious political irony.
Sit back and enjoy!!
’Cause “Death to America” as a sentiment? The ultimate in patriotism, man.
-Because he was trying to steal the vote of the chicken.
-or stifle the dissent of the chicken, or endless variations.
isn’t a negative deficit a surplus? need coffee
q. Because roads are dark, like our dark lord, Rove.
ALL HAIL!
r. Because we want to pave the earth, and we need to uphold the reputation of roads as reputable traveling-surfaces in view of achieving this goal.
s. WHAT’S IT TO YA, PINKO!??!?!
rofl.
To get away from the military recruiter, of course!
</troll>
i. To repair the Border Fence. Again.
Why does it matter?
I mean, it doesn’t seem to matter to you that I’m not Dan Collins, right?
– to try to get around that damn zionist wall.
Because everybody voted Democrat in 2006.
Pie?
Look troll, get this straight, please. I’m the one who hates women, and he’s the one who cockslaps trolls.
Sheesh!
Isn’t that the punchline to the “Why did Tim Hardaway cross the road” joke?
Rrelentlessly negative coverage and public perception? Why don’t we just perceive victory instead? Mission Accomplished.
Why beat the Dixie Tricks with a tire iron? Wasting a perfectly good tool on such worthless tools?
TOOLIST!!!!
Because the balloon fence was going to be built soon, blocking his access.
Why don’t we just perceive victory instead?
I visualize it with Whirled Peas.
I reject the premise as too narrow; to wit:
Q) Why did the neo-con cross the road?
A) To bring democracy, liberty and a just society
to those who live on the other side thru force of arms.
Q) Why did the Paleo-con cross the road?
A) To build a fence that will keep those on the other side from coming to his side.
Q) Why did the social conservative cross the road?
A) To proselytize and save the eternal souls of the unconverted on the other side.
Q) Why did the economic conservative cross the road?
A) To build a Starbucks
Q) Why did the libertarian cross the road?
A) To escape the intrusive, nanny-state gov’t that controls his side.
Q) Why did the independent voter cross the road?
A) To vote for John McCain.
Q) Why did the “mainstream media” cross the road?
A) To interview every male resident of the other
side to see if they might be the father of Anna Nichole’s baby.
Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitperson and please drive home safely!
i. to get blown up by an IED on the other side (a wonderful dream shared by terrorist and lib alike)
Liberal=dumb white guy with too much money or the person of color playing him for a sucker.
Islam=the end of civilization if not human life unless we grow some balls pretty fast.
Gays=”not that there’s anything wrong with that, but damn watchin that dudes-kissing-each-other shit really GIVES ME THE WILLIES!
Why did the liberal cross the road? because over there they offer single payer health care. Although once they got there, they had to wait 6 months to have a hangnail removed.
d. THE MONIED JEWS* TOLD HIM TOO!
*a/k/a the Evil Neo-Cons
Petraeus brings aboard solid advisers, but neocons remain threat to U.S. policy Thursday, February 15, 2007 by GEORGIE ANNE GEYER
The Democrat Party—the alliance of those who don’t work (Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, Bill Gates, George Soros, the crack-addled bums and illegal immrants who pee and poop on your sidewalk and will sell their votes for their next hit of crack or a green card) against those who do have to work (the rest of us). I can’t break it down much more simply than that.
I gotta confess… I am NOT feeling the love right now. WHERE’S THE LOVE?!?
Q.: Why did the anarchist cross the road?
A.: “Who told the @#$!ing state it could build a @#$!ing road across my path!!??”
i. To flee in terror before the might & majesty of a “progressive” viscious rant and Important Action Alert.
Cordially…
to avoid the subpoena for the Scooter Libby
outing of Valerie whatshernameperjury trial.Methinks that may better be put
Wow, based on my ovwn Neocon bonafides i was going to go with “b” but “Christofascist Patriarchy” has such a great ring to it that I’m conflicted.
I guess I need a monied Jew to consult, or at bare minimum a jewish carpenter.
I am going with “d”, if only because I would doa lmost anything to annoy Wes Clark…
Because a vaguely threatening rant on MyDD demanding he stay on his own side just wasn’t very convincing?
Because he’s the wanker of the day!
He saw the jackalope pie.
Because a neocon can’t even rape some women these days?
Hey, did you see Glenn Greenwald’s takedown of Jewish pennicillan? It’s awesome…
Open thread! How much thread could a threadbot thread! Discuss bitches!
Yeah. They’re that unoriginal.
Who cares what you are when you are running full speed into the brick wall JG left for ya. Funniest shit I have seen all week….Priceless.
* He didn’t, he sent some poor kid to get hit by a car in his place. CHICKENCROSSER!!!!
to chop down a cherry tree
Because the bank over there was offering a quarter-percent better interest on certificates of deposit.
…what, neocons can’t be Scottish?
womôn
It’s of Belgian-Jamaican orgin. Please don’t forget the accent.
Because of the Richard Mellon-Scaife!!1!
*********FOX NEWS ALERT**********
Hallmark now has a line of greeting cards for to give to people with eating disorders. Maybe this is finally the opportunity for funny conservatism to shine:
Heard you sent your son off to college………
…..or did you eat him?
Or,
When you’re feeling like you absolutely have to have two cookies, there’s no law that says you can’t squeeze a couple of marshmallows, peanut butter and an Almond Joy between them.
but there should be.
… because the matzo made from the blood of kidnapped and butchered Palestinian children is only available on the matzo stand on the other side of the road.
To cash his weekly check from The Elders.
To “torture” illegally-held detainees by wrapping them in Israeli flags and smearing them with fake menstrual blood.
mmmmmm….. piiiiiiiiiiie.