Is political compromise possible if 50% of adult Americans can’t compromise in relationships? Will we disintegrate into a splintered nation of conflicting interests with no common purpose or are we already there?
Sam Roberts of the New York Times reports:
In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.
Several factors are driving the statistical shift. At one end of the age spectrum, women are marrying later or living with unmarried partners more often and for longer periods. At the other end, women are living longer as widows and, after a divorce, are more likely than men to delay remarriage, sometimes delighting in their newfound freedom.
By the way, you’ll notice that I rarely post at Protein Wisdom since I have my own blog to keep me busy and also because most of the high-points are covered here by others. I have appreciated Jeff’s willingness to share his space. I want to publicly thank him for doing so.
Yeah, Melissa, but maybe you want to give the link for those who enjoy your stuff but don’t know where to find you.
So howcum we can’t find a major straight woman novelist or writer, beloved of the left, like Maureen Dowd, isn’t writing about how bitter, lonely and desperate she is as she’s getting older?
OK, Dan, but just for you. I didn’t want to be presumptuous.
My blog is Dr. Melissa Clouthier. I haven’t moved up from Blogger yet. I’m not sure it’s worth it. Plus, I’m afraid of technical issues.
Anyway, there’s the link, if you’re interested. And Dan, do you post at your own blog anymore or are you dedicated to assisting Jeff?
Melissa, I’m going back to bloodyscott.blogspot.com, I believe.
I think that Ursula LeGuin is a major novelist. I think that Margaret Atwood is a major novelist.
Marilyn Robinson’s a major talent.
Dan, I just went over to Bloody Scott and it looks like Scott is moving here. You might be all alone over there. Maybe Jeff will just let you stay at Protein Wisdom.
Ghost,
I don’t get it. Are you saying women on the right are better at relationships?
Q: Why do Jewish women out live their husbands?
A: Because the husbands want to die.
Seriously, I would like to know everyone’s opinion on why over half the women in this country are single as compared to just 35% in 1950.
Jokes are fine. But I am curious why this is so.
You don’t want to know why I think it is so.
This is perhaps the most fraudulent NY Times article to come out in a while. Mr. Roberts basically cooks the books by including widows (women are living longer and longer) and all women over 15 (15 !?!) in the 51% number. He even includes women who’s husbands are over seas in the military. Sam Roberts is also responsible for the very common lie that half of all marriages end in divorce. This article is basically a very clever lie.
But I do want to know why you think so, RWS.
Well……..McDonalds was founded in 1955, so if you think about it – if you go by weight – probably well over half of American women are single.
*grimace*
A woman needs a man like a fish needs one of those little toy divers. It really livens up the ol’ tank, but it isn’t, strictly speaking, necessary.
I do too! I’m betting we don’t think all that differently.
My guess has nothing to do with this:
Judging from my friends’ experience, that also has to do with men of similar age delighting in their newfound ability to attract 20-years younger girlfriends.
RWS,
I do think there is a generational element. The women who matured under Feminism don’t want marriage after a divorce and raising kids (or men prefer younger women which precipitated the divorce). For men that age (over 50), the job description for a wife…..well, maybe I’m projecting about the men my dad’s age. But good grief! Who needs it?
The younger women have become just like men. Wasn’t that the goal of feminism? OK, that’s hyperbolic. But quite a few women I know can’t seem to integrate feminism with a relationship. Any negotiation is interpreted as a loss. There is no give and take.
But Melissa, where are the single mothers of young children in this article? Those that aren’t just like men, because they have a couple of kids and custody?
Well…maybe because in 1950, 65% of women were worth marrying
~ducks, scrambles behind a large tree~
MayBee,
Well, I think there are many reasons (I did a long post at my own blog about what those are) for these statistics. And I don’t think Feminism is entirely to blame. But looking at the trend throughout society–that approximately 50% of men and adult women are no longer married–indicates a cultural shift, no question.
50% of divorces are precipitated by women, even those with children and even though, if they have children, they will fare worse economically. Why? Certainly not all of these women are abused or cheated on, are they?
I believe that most people seek the perfect soul-mate, but maybe that’s part of the problem, too.
Lee,
In 1950, there was a reason why the Feminist rhetoric rang true for women. And the daughters growing up watching that dynamic (I know of a family where the man rang a bell to summon his servile wife) vowed to not be on the receiving end of that behavior.
Today, the pendulum has swung. There seems to be no compromises coupled with impossible expectations.
Can’t say that I read the article itself, but Larry Elder was talking about the study it’s based on. According to him, the study includes pretty much all women. That means age 15+, widows, spouses of incarcerated criminals, and spouses of deployed servicemen.
I don’t really know which is true, though I have to figure that there wasn’t a major war in 1950 and there was likely a smaller % of men in jail too.
And now I feel really<i> defensive.
I choose to be single and so this is bad for society? Are other people marrying because it’s good for society and our culture?
Or because you choose to?
Lunarpuff,
My point is not to offend. Between skewed statistics and bias, I’m not sure what to make of these stats.
Taking them for being marginally accurate, which is to say there are more single people by choice now than in the 1950s, it does beg the question as to why?
People don’t marry to make a better society, but I do think it could be argued that a society composed of more married people makes society better. There is actually quite a bit of data to support that.
The rise of single-motherhood is not good for America. It is a social experiment that has failed. Children need moms and dads in their lives.
I get that lots of men and women are happier single and unattached. That is their choice. But where children are involved, singleness is not a good development.
Melissa, of course I know you did not mean to offend. I just happen to be defensive on this issue!
You make a good point about married people making society better and I largely agree. I have more thoughts , but that would be a whole ‘nother subject!
And I completely, totally agree with you where children are concerned.
What about the women that cheat on their husbands?
*sigh* Ahhhh, the good old days…
~runs for life~
Well, there was that dust-up in Korea…
Although…would the women whose husbands served in Korea have been counted as “living without a spouse” in 1950? I detect some weasel-wording here; if a married man goes on a business trip, is his wife then “living without a spouse”? Only if the trip is longer than a week? A month? For that matter, if a married woman goes on a business trip, is she living without a spouse?
I suspect that Roberts carefully edited his evidence to buttress his pre-determined conclusion…and that if it hadn’t, he would have thrown away his data set and chosen a different one that him the results he wanted.
“Those who don’t know history39 are doomed to be snowed by progressives.”
How do Mormons effect the equation?
It’s more like two thirds, presumably having to do with a positive gender bias in the family courts. That and the fact that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. And perhaps that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. And that expectations are out of control.
BTW, if there’s a replacement guy in the wings when the women file for divorce, they can do just wonderfully taking a majority of assets and income from their ex, while enjoying access to the same benefits from the replacement guy.
Take a look at the singles equation from the perspective of the divorce industry. Mix in a half century of “feminism”. The results look more or less like this:
Approaching three quarters of all divorce is initiated by women beause 85% of those cases result in primary/secondary custody splits favorable to women. Pablo is right on the money and the research is available.
Now add in the simple fact that the profound breakdown in traditional values has aided that adversarial climate—date these days and you’ll find that a large majority of women want to be treated as a large majority of men are apparently wiling to oblige: Like crap. It’s a fun rush for about a weekend; not everybody wants to actually make it permanent. Seen Jerry Springer lately? This is the simple but inevitable lowering of standards and expectations brought about by an equally simple momentum of bad habits.
Women own billions more in personal property. They don’t need the “support” when they’ve got the law on their side. Conventional wisdom says guys are jerks, women are bitches, the family is a pain in the ass, and there are alternatives.
Not much of a mystery anymore. I don’t mean to sound cynical, but I’ve seen all this for too long to doubt that it’s not a trend by now.
In my view, the combination of bad opportunity created by bad socialist programs and the crumbling values system of the average US citizen are a combination that’ll ruin the place within 30 years.
Oh, and after a few decades of this family breakdown, young men (and perhaps young women) are swearing off their own families in droves. The secondary consequences of our divorce culture are equally significant.
See Eurabia.
If half of divorces are brought about by women, is it possible that many of those cases were something that a woman was reacting to by filing for divorce? For instance, husband cheats on wife. Husband wants to reconcile. (And why not? Then he gets the wife/servant and the hot young ass on the side.) Wife declines and files for divorce. It’s funny no one above considered that.
Also, please note the article is about women living without a man, not women being single. There was an article a couple of months ago about couples who “live together apart” and I’m sure those women are included in these stats, even though they are in long-term committed relationships. I know lots of people in long-term relationships who keep their own place, and all of those women fit into this story even though they aren’t “single.”
Probably the wrong site to be feebly speculating on, Jen. Women file divorces at least three times the rate of men, and receive assets and custody nearly always. Those are statistics. It’s funny you didn’t consider that.
Conversely, feel free to definitively show everyone how all that wreckage—complete with a huge disparity in assets that you can check by federal statistics—is the just result of cheating hubbies getting “hot young ass” on the side. Are you certain it’s not actually colored by quite a lot of gender profiteering?
IOW, show me a social law that doesn’t eventually result in a sizable group abusing and leveraging it for personal gain.