Me: “Well, I haven’t actually done much with this guest-blogging thing.”
Protein Wisdom: “Who are you again?”
Me: “Yeah, that’s what I mean. The comment engine knows me, though. It tries to hide when it sees me coming.”
Protein Wisdom: “No, seriously. Who the hell are you?”
Me: “I like that you play it for humor. Pretending not to recognize me.”
Protein Wisdom: “Dude, I’m not joking. I can tell you’re on my list but I have no idea why—and I’m not really sure I should be talking to you.”
Me: “But you know, you don’t have to run it into the ground. That’s my shtick.”
Protein Wisdom: “You have a shtick?” (consults list) “Well, if you say so…”
Me: “That way I don’t have to come up with anything original, I just steal somebody else’s bit and run with it.”
Jeff Goldstein: “Hey.”
Me: “Like, for example, this talking to inanimate objects bit. That’s been one of Jeff’s funniest things.”
Jeff Goldstein: “Funny you should mention that…”
Me: “So obviously I couldn’t resist. But now that Jeff’s coming back soon—“
Protein Wisdom: “Define ‘soon.’”
Jeff Goldstein: “Dude, I’m already back. You can go now.”
Me:
Protein Wisdom:
Jeff Goldstein:
Me: “Oh.”
Pants!
ANTONY.
Still dying over here!
DISMISSED!!!
Think of it as more of an homage.
This is the part where we all come together onstage to do a chorus line to “Hooked On a Feeling,” you idiots.
Gahooga-hooga-HOOgah-chaka!
That’s why I left when I did. If your act’s gonna die onstage, it may at least leave a beautiful corpse.
I wouldn’t let him go until after you’ve shaken him down for the family silver and whatnot, Jeff.
I wanna do a goodbwye post!
Goodbye, Missus Calabash, wherever you are!
No, that would just be cheesy.
Oh wait, you said “homage” with an H. My bad.
See that’s where you’ve been going wrong McGehee.
Jeff wouldn’t have explained that. He would have trusted the wit and erudition of his readers to get the joke without explanation.
On second thoughts…
Carry on.
TSI,
You had the perfect opening for the Hoff.
I want to look away but I just can’t!
And that comment referred to the Hoff.
That’s pretty much the universal reaction.