Does Phillip’s Milk of Magnesia have any of the same ice-melting properties as Magnesium Chloride? Because if not, I fear I’ve left myself vulnerable to both constipation and a tacky, mint-smelling driveway that will soon be slick as a snail’s pudendum.
Which ain’t likely to win me any votes at the HOA elections, I can tell you that much.
Developing…
Liquid or tablet? Of course, you could add Ex-Lax and shovel it into a very nice Peppermint Patty.
Talk about synchronicity. I was just thinking about snail pudenda the other night.
No, really, but it had something to do with our waitress who looked like nothing so much as a crazy tweaker bitch off the boulevard, lizard boogers in the dipping sauce, and one too many nicotine patches stuck to my upper arm.
Heh.
Meanwhile, my site continues to be fucked, and I can’t seem to raise my host.
That, and I’m getting slammed with spam mail. I think I need to quit this internet thing. It’s frustrating as hell. More time spent on maintenance than on producing anything of any value.
Jeff, you have prostituted your space to questionable characters. Who knows where their dirty little non-IE browsers have been. And their laissez-faire markup skills regularly deform your space. Let’s hope the site ‘only’ has an STD and nothing worse…
A good splash of vinegar & water would slough off these intertube remora and you would give this place a fresh baby powder scent for the New Year.
Ban them all I say. Be ruthless.
Yeah! Ban us! We suck.
Hear, hear!
Site seems to be de-fucked.
TW: believe33
Uh. Okay, I guess.
What are you thinking of running for Jeff, watering compliance officer? Fence height inspector?
De-fucked snail pudendum. Yay?
Escargot? I hope that was served with garlic and butter.
Not that I would eat that stuff.
I have some standards.
Coincidentally, I was feeling similarly during your site-coma this morning, until I mistyped the fragment of “proteinwisdom” that I habitually enter to get here, and instead of seeing your busted front page, I was sent to toplatinas.com, and my wavering faith in the wonder and perfection of the internet was solidified.
Don’t leave the tubes! They’re full of miracles.
I don’t know if Phillip’s will prevent your driveway from icing up—but if your driveway does ice up, it’ll move the ice off all by itself.
Just keep that crap down on your side if I-80 this time. Snow doesn’t make Wyoming any more “scenic.”
OOOHHH! Ban me too!
We ALL need a good banning.
And then, the oral sex…….
I do not think it means what you think it means.
– See….I was jiggy wid dit until we got into the snail pudenda sex scene, with or without menthalatum glazed driveways…Now thats just wrong…
Do all snails shave their pudenda? Is that what you’re saying, Jeff?
I don’t think you covered this yet Jeff (maybe you did and I just miseed it) but how did your old deadbeat neighbor handle you moving away?
Does he drive to your new place and steal your newspaper just for olde time sakes?
Did he ever get those tricky nipple clamps off?
Seriously man, I need to know these things.
And don’t forget those of us who want to see the li’l feller boogie on the halfshell for New Years’ Eve…
Nothing like a drunk armadillo with a lampshade on its head to ring in the New Year…
TW: soviet71
{/got nuthin’}
I think the Milk of Magnesia is a dead end. If you should stumble across any 85% magnesia – don’t try it either.
Damn. 383 hits for the keywords “snail pudendum”. And I thought it had a real promise of uniqueness, to my eternal embarrassment.
Never underestimate the value of slick pudendum in HOA elections….
Just sayin’ is all….
My daughter and I have worked out a spin on the very popular word “truthiness.” With regard to the Denver snow storms the media are whipping up “alarminess.” That being alarm they wish were there, but is not really because IT SNOWS IN DENVER, COLORADO! DUH!
Sorry for yelling.
Milo