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Wherein I Repent to Pandagon [Dan Collins; UPDATED]

Darleen brings notice that I have been noticed by Pandagon in the most flattering way possible:

Oh Dan, you should feel honored…

St Amanda of Fornicatus has discovered you

With that in mind, I stopped by Protein Wisdom to entertain myself watching the wingnuts do anything but that. Protein Wisdom is where you go to see people treat an opportunity for self-reflection with the same regard they would reserve for an opportunity to hack your own foot off with a butterknife. The object of hostility today is Glenn Greenwald, who was uncouth enough to do a huge post about this whole thing. The post is by Dan Collins and it’s truly beautiful in its paranoid disregard for the media that seems to stem from an anger at the existence of truth itself. […]

But this entire dust-up seems to be based around the insane notion that the AP is trying to sabotage BushCo, and that they are so interested in doing this that they were willling to tell bald-faced lies about sourcing. That’s McCarthy-level paranoia. The only thing I can figure is that since people like Dan are still throwing a fit even after being shown to be paranoid nuts, they are simply angry that the entire media won’t turn into a BushCo propaganda organization.

St. Amanda has declared the AP a saint of objective, truthful reporting. Dan, fall to your knees and REPENT!

Shit.  My hair shirt is at the dry cleaners’, and I seem to have misplaced my flagellum in the recent move.  I’ll just have to try and make do with tearing my hair out and casting dirt upon myself, and, maybe, scratching my face till it bleeds.

As I tried to point out in my post on Greenwald, my issue is not about whether or not the AP has had, or has, a source by the name (more or less) of Jamil Hussein, who is in some capacity associated with the Iraqi police.  Rather, my issue is with whether or not the stories sourced to this person (assuming he does exist and is the person he claims he is and is the source for the stories, which is in dispute) are true.  And in a case where multiple sources dispute the testimony of the AP source, a certain amount of skepticism seems justified.

I don’t see anywhere in her post where Amanda’s able to explain this bit of Greenwald’s screed, which, I’ll agree with her, was long:

And ever since their involvement in the use by Dan Rather of fraudulent documents [ed., would it not be more straightforward to say “exposure of”?], and then heightened by Charles Johnson’s oh-so-monumental observation that a Reuters photograph of Lebanon had been photoshopped to give the appearance of more smoke during an Israeli air strike on Beirut, the media has largely recited this storyline.

[T]heir involvement in the use by Dan Rather of fraudulent documents”?  Who is it, Amanda, that seems angry about the exposure of falsehoods?  What is it that Gleen attempts to accomplish through this tortured syntax and logic?  Let me put it this way: Although David Irving has recanted in the face of his sentencing, one could cite him as a source for the belief that the holocaust didn’t occur, but that wouldn’t change the fact that it did.  “Paranoid disregard” is not the same thing as saying that the AP may have been led astray by their source, in the way that Reuters was with the retouched, posed, misprisioned and otherwise falsified photos that they published.

Rather than get into Francis Bacon and Descartes and deduction and induction, let me just point out that in that post, I linked to an article that was noted by Glenn Reynolds, that begins this way:

Physicists do it…Psychologists do it…Even political scientists do it…Research findings confirming a hypothesis are accepted more or less at face value, but when confronted with contrary evidence, we become “motivated skeptics” … picking apart possible flaws in the study, recoding variables, and only when all the counterarguing fails do we rethink our beliefs…

I don’t think that anyone is exempt from this, including myself, Glenn Reynolds, Glenn Greenwald, or Pandagon.  Let me cite an example from a comments thread at Patterico.  My interlocutor is someone who would agree with you, I think, Amanda, on what constitutes the important part of this brouhaha:

Six killed doesn’t meet the bar for a serious crime? I would think innocent people being burned to death in public would be considered a heinous atrocity, even amid all the other terrible violence. I’m sure the family members want to know who’s responsible. If the military has not even a limited forensic capability, you’d think there’d be some physical evidence to exploit, i.e. fuel residue, burn marks on the sidewalk, blood, etc…

There are still plenty of unanswered questions about this, beyond the existence of Jamil, including the most important question: If this crime ocurred, who did it, and why.

Comment by mrj — 1/6/2007 @ 4:58 pm

If this crime ocurred, who did it, and why.

There was in the northern part of Greece a land called Macedon; and this land was at one time ruled over by a war-like king named Philip.

Philip of Macedon wanted to become the master of all Greece. So he raised a great army, and made war upon the other states, until nearly all of them were forced to call him their king. Then he sent a letter to the Spartans in Laconia, and said, “If I go down into your country, I will level your great city to the ground.”

In a few days, an answer was brought back to him. When he opened the letter, he found only one word written there.

That word was “IF.”

–The problem is still this “if,” you see, mrj.

Comment by Dan Collins — 1/6/2007 @ 5:11 pm

Misreading everything, you cite this from my post:

So, you see, it is mindless tractability to believe what the military tells one, but a sign of good faith to believe uncritically whatever one is told by the AP.

And then you contend:

He had two choices: Believe uncritically or assume that AP makes shit up to make him feel stupid.

That is neither what I said nor what I believe, however much you may think you are accurately representing what I actually wrote.  It is not an either/or proposition, though for rhetorical reasons you are motivated to cast it that way.  Were you so motivated to bring to bear the same dismissiveness to bear on Greenwald’s piece, your bullshit buzzers would go off when you encountered him using Jayson Blair to smear wingnuts.

We have differences that are not necessarily manifestations of bad faith on your part or mine.  If I am driving on I-89 in Vermont in a blizzard, I view the danger according to my own lights.  If someone blows past me, I may think that they are nuts, because their calculation is so different from mine, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t stop to help them if I come across them spun out off of the road some miles down it.  Some of us honestly believe that we are at war with fundamentalist Islamism, not because we wish to see the authoritarian power of the state increased, but because of our own analysis of the evidence, which is based not only on the evidence per se, but on the reporting of the evidence and the models that we use to contextualize that evidence as we receive it.  None of it is unmediated.

I must say, though, that this seems to me extraordinarily paranoid:

since people like Dan are still throwing a fit even after being shown to be paranoid nuts, they are simply angry that the entire media won’t turn into a BushCo propaganda organization

And if it’s fits that interest you, read some more Greenwald.

UPDATE: Heet asks the question, “Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you”?  I’m not sure.  Something about Kurt Godel, I expect.  But you can ask my wife; she probably has theories.

72 Replies to “Wherein I Repent to Pandagon [Dan Collins; UPDATED]”

  1. McGehee says:

    Pfeh. If people like Amanda didn’t gibber, the blogosphere would be a much quieter place.

    Also a much more intelligent place, but everything’s a tradeoff.

  2. syn says:

    The question still remains, where’s the evidence of Jamil’s reportage?

    the entire media won’t turn into a BushCo propaganda organization

    So if Fox news gets the ticker tape from the AP and Fox news is the propaganda machine for the evil BushCo machine is not the AP then a Faux propagandist tool for the evil Empire?

    Proggs, they fight to the death to save gay sheep then turn around only to slaughter human babies in the womb; they’re not people they’re Sheeple.

  3. Defense Guy says:

    A well reasoned response that might as well be written in Klingon for all the good it will do.  If you view the world, as both Gleen & Amanda do, through the filter that everything the “wingnuts” believe is wrong (and probably evil), then the vague meandering attempt at making a point by Gleen becomes a solidly factual treatise.

    If, however, you believe that the world is far less easy to describe and that it contains numerous messy little details each deserving a full and honest examination to even begin to be able to describe it factual, then you will see that the words of both Amanda and Gleen read like the words of paranoid children.  Which they are.

  4. heet says:

    You bullshit artists really are fucking delusional:

    … my issue is not about whether or not the AP has had, or has, a source by the name (more or less) of Jamil Hussein, who is in some capacity associated with the Iraqi police.  Rather, my issue is with whether or not the stories sourced to this person (assuming he does exist and is the person he claims he is and is the source for the stories, which is in dispute) are true.

    Previous post by Dan:

    Looking for Police Spokesman named Jamil Hussein, willing to take credit for having been source of various stories regarding atrocities.  Names similar to Jamil Hussein will be considered, as will people named Jamil Hussein who work in capacities somehow related to police forces.  Job to start immediately, salary negotiable.

    Comment by Jeff:

    Just found the article.  It quotes me as saying that the AP has been using a fake source since at least April to report on Shia violence against Sunnis.  Nobody has turned up Jamil to this point, so I stick by that.

    Title of a post by The Sanity Inspector:

    If, instead of an imaginary Associated Press news source, Iraqi police captain Jamil Hussein was the greatest English language dramatist in history… (The Sanity Inspector)

    Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you.  All anyone has to do is use the search function of the website and type in “Jamil”.  Real easy. 

    Certainly the backslappers here will attack me for bad grammar or poor html skills but my point stands.  I mention this for any sane person reading PW who might actually, for a second, believe your defense.

  5. Dan Collins says:

    heet,

    What part of irony and humor don’t you understand, or is it the whole concept that you miss?

  6. Pablo says:

    Amanda? Amanda Huggenkiss?

  7. heet says:

    Right.  I just don’t *get* your post, that’s the problem.  Bite me.

    Your position is so nuanced as to allow both the possibility that Jamil exists AND he is a figment of AP’s imagination (expressed through humor, of course).  Plausible deniability totally rules.  Still doesn’t mean you are totally off your rocker for thinking the AP would MAKE UP a source to discredit the US.

  8. Dan Collins says:

    Let’s review: AP’s source, supposedly named “Jamil Gholaiem Hussein,” used to work at Yarmouk but now works at al Khadra.

    From Malkin:

    CPATT says the one person named “Jamil” now at al Khadra — Jamil Ghdaab Gulaim—also used to work at Yarmouk. His rank is the same as that of AP’s alleged source. His last name is almost identical to the middle name of AP’s alleged source. (FYI: In Arabic, the middle name is one’s father’s name; the last name is one’s grandfather’s.)

    According to the CPATT officers, Captain Jamil Ghdaab Gulaim “denies ever speaking to the AP or any other media.” I retracted information to the contrary two days ago based on a single CPATT source who said he had erroneously stated that Gulaim had admitted being the source.

    So, I ask you: isn’t it the height of McCarthyite paranoia to believe that an AP source whose identity has been touted in 61 articles would refuse to acknowledge that he was the source for the story because to be so identified might expose him to prosecution?  Or do you think he’s denying it just to make Greenwald look stupid?

  9. Darleen says:

    heet is of the belief that wingnutters are terminally angry paranoids and never engage in satire, humor and ironic musings.

    That’s leaving aside, of course, that said wingnutters always have evil ulterior motives whatever they do or for whatever they advocate.

    Accepted wisdom, doncha know?

  10. Dan Collins says:

    So, now it’s your turn to bite me.

  11. burrhog says:

    heet,

    You have got to be the densest, dumbest mother-fucker on these intertubes. Either you are mentally challenged and you can’t reduce an argument to its main propositions or you are a lying crap-weasel.

    Actually, it’s not an either/or; I’m certain you are both.

  12. Defense Guy says:

    How dare you question the AP when it is so clearly reporting things which heet is willing to believe without verification?

    Have you no shame sir?

  13. Defense Guy says:

    I think we need to have a web site devoted to letting the public know which entities and/or people we are allowed to question and on what subject matters we are allowed to inquire.  It should be called the absolute moral authority report and will allow the left and right to converse with one another using something like the same language.

    Like, for example, am I allowed to question Cindy Sheehan on non-war related issues?  Or is her moral authority absolute on every subject.

  14. Bill D. Cat says:

    F’in butterknives ……. this could take awhile .

  15. Darleen says:

    heet

    Does the name “Bilal Hussein” ring any bells?

  16. Adnan Hajj says:

    I totally vouch for Jamal Hussein, and for heet. Both are as genuine as the horizon, as real as the sky.

  17. JHoward says:

    Some of us honestly believe that we are at war with fundamentalist Islamism, not because we wish to see the authoritarian power of the state increased, but because of our own analysis of the evidence, which is based not only on the evidence per se, but on the reporting of the evidence and the models that we use to contextualize that evidence as we receive it.  None of it is unmediated.

    Nice.  Etch this in solid rock someplace and let the moonbats talk to it for a change.  As a simple contrast to heet-style paranoia, it hews far closer to reality.

    Speaking of paranoia, what exactly does this mean, coming from the obviously unhinged?

    You bullshit artists really are fucking delusional:

  18. Kurt Godel says:

    AP is not a formal system.

    Bite me.

  19. Additional Blond Agent says:

    Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you.[sic]

    Cry toliet and let loose the dogs of bore!!!

    [wake me when yer finished, beet]

  20. Andrew says:

    As S. Frechette has observed about Pandagon, any sane liberals have left that nuthouse long ago. What’s left is the bottom of the cereal box. The disgusting sugared powder that turns into a disgusting mush when you pour milk on it.

  21. Karl says:

    Your position is so nuanced as to allow both the possibility that Jamil exists AND he is a figment of AP’s imagination (expressed through humor, of course).  Plausible deniability totally rules.  Still doesn’t mean you are totally off your rocker for thinking the AP would MAKE UP a source to discredit the US.

    As to the first part, it’s a reflection of heet’s limited mental capacity that he does not understand the concept of arguing in the alternative.  Jamil could have been a fabricated source, a real source using a pseudonym (as may be the case, based on what is currently known), a real source with confusion caused by translations of Arabic names, etc.

    As for being off one’s rocker for considering that Jamil might have been a fabrication, heet is apparently un aware of Janet Cooke, Jayson Blair, Stephen Glass, Brian Walski, Adnan Hajj and those at Time and US News who miscaptioned Bruno Stevens’ photos, or the stringer the L.A. Times is using in Ramadi.

  22. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Here’s my post in full, occasioned by CENTCOM’S denial that such a person exists.

    The gist of the post is about how we get our information.  Which redounds to trustworthiness of sources.

    Is Hussein—one exists, but is he the “right” one—reliable?  61 stories.  From a guy who may be a propagandist.  Or who may be a composite character.  Does this not pique your interest, heet?

    Karl pointed out the other day that many many sources didn’t run the mosque-burning story the AP chose to run because they could not corroborate it; worse, some found conflicting information.  And as Armed Liberal has noted, at least 2 of those mosques are confirmed standing. 

    Given the prevarications it this Hussein account, does this not demand you go back and question his other claims?  Find his agenda?  Find if he even exists?

    The Hussein they found is claiming not to be the AP’s source.  So now what?  Is Jamil Hussein a common Iraqi name? 

    The point being, these are questions that are consistent with intellectual curiousity—though they may very well be spurred by a distrust of the media.  But why shouldn’t we mistrust war reporting that has given us staged photographs, creative photo editing, and enemy propaganda uncritically repeated?

    Or, to put it more simply, what the fuck is wrong with you, heet?  You like to pretend we’re the unthinking puppets.  But you just look to people like Greenwald to validate what you hope to be the case, after which you act as though the finger of God has touched you and burned the Truth into your hairline.

    It’s puzzling.  It’s shocking.  And when you wear it as a badge of honor, it is revolting.

    Pussy.  Of epic proportions.

  23. heet says:

    The circle jerk continues.  As long as you continue to believe your nonsense arguments are too *nuanced* for the rest of the world to understand, you’ll be marginalized.  Perhaps that’s the way you like it – sitting in the corner, railing at the man, tittering at inside jokes about how ugly or gay the rest of the internet looks, like an overeducated clique of Emo kids.  Please, keep it up!

  24. Pablo says:

    The Hussein they found is claiming not to be the AP’s source.  So now what?  Is Jamil Hussein a common Iraqi name?

    They found a guy named Hussein in Iraq? What are the odds of that?

  25. Karl says:

    I do think we should allow for the possibility that the Iraqi gov’t has correctly identified this guy as the Jamil Hussein with whom we are concerned.  Given that Jamil is not supposed to be talking to the press, it would be reasonable for him to continue to deny he is the guy.  And—ironically—the Iraqi gov’t has said it won’t take action, so long as the AP refuses to identify him as the source. 

    This probably means that the AP will simply claim to be vindicated solely on the word of the gov’t sources it contradicted when they claimed he didn’t work for them.  And that fools like heet will take it as gospel, despite the fact that the AP did not substantiate Jamil’s claim of four burned mosques (and, before that, the other story of a dozen victims in an incident where there were only two verified).

  26. Pablo says:

    As long as you continue to believe your nonsense arguments are too *nuanced* for the rest of the world to understand, you’ll be marginalized.

    No, heet. The arguments and questions are not to nuanced for the rest of the world to understand. They’re just too nuanced for a complete fucking moron like you to understand. Not everyone is a goddamned fool of such proportions as you. You’re special.

  27. Karl says:

    To sum up: heet cannot explain why the AP never confirmed Jamil’s claim that four mosques were burned.  heet cannot explain why the AP story of where the bodies supposedly went changed without the AP explaining why it changed.  heet cannot explain why the same “nonsense” questions were raised by the New York Times, the Washington Post and even Eason Frickin’ Jordan.

    Apparently, pointing out the difference between the number one and the number four is too nuanced for heet.  As is the difference between a morgue, a freezer and a cemetery.

  28. heet says:

    Look you projecting ninnies : nowhere did I say the AP was pristine or Jamil wasn’t manipulating the press or we should believe everything we hear in the news.  My point was quite simple : don’t expect anyone to believe in your righteous horseshit when you have been proven to be so fucking off base by claiming Jamil was concocted by the AP for nefarious reasons.  Sorry for the misunderstanding.

    Cordially,

    Heet

  29. Defense Guy says:

    heet

    You do understand that merely proving the existance of the source of a story is not the same as proving the accuracy of the story, don’t you?  Further, the notion that the whole inquiry began because of questions about the accuracy of the accounts, independant of who made them, is not something that you should be so willing to chalk up to nuance.

  30. Darleen says:

    heet

    Make an attempt and read this very very carefully. Try to have your “comprehension hat” on

    Indeed that does seem to be the narrative that the left is pressing – because Jamil Hussein has been “found” that means the story about four burned mosques and six immolated human beings must be true.

    Let’s test that logic with a syllogism, shall we? 

    Major Premise: The AP reported four mosques burned down and six people were murdered, and their source was Jamil Hussein.

    Minor Premise: Jamil Hussein exists.

    Conclusion: Therefore four mosques burned down and six people were murdered.

    No, that doesn’t work.  The logic fails.

    The fact that the AP itself could not find serious corroboration for the story, that it changed the “four” mosques to “one” but has not been able to provide a single picture, that it has never named the victims or talked to the victim’s families or done anything at all to substantiate the story beyond saying “we stand by it,” seems not to matter to some.  But it matters, and that is what the bloggers on the right, “war” or otherwise, have been trying to say.  A report matters.  The credibility of a report (even if the story is “brief” ) matters.  It matters because every time a horrible story crosses the wires and into the public perception, it plays on gut-level emotions and raises discontent among already warring local factions.  In the same way that some would use our own liberties to work against us, such reports embolden those who would take advantage of the fact that America is a compassionate country, that makes war only with relucance.  Am I saying that ugly or troubling stories should not be reported?  Of course not.  But they must be true

  31. Allah Carte says:

    As long as you continue to believe your nonsense arguments are too *nuanced* for the rest of the world to understand, you’ll be marginalized.

    This from the 9/11 conspiracists camp…

    Preiceless.

  32. commander0 says:

    Nuance?  What is that, heet, some river in Egypt?  Because the word I know would never be used to describe the sledgehammer these boys have just beaten you and the AP with

  33. Andrew says:

    It’s my understanding that both John Amato AND Duncan Black have named heet as Wanker of the Millennium. His recurring posts here would appear to fully support that designation….

  34. Karl says:

    1.  I’m sure heet has plenty of links to substantiate the claim that everyone thought the AP had “nefarious intent.”

    2.  heet posits that being mistaken (assuming the MoI actually has “the” Jamil Hussein, which the AP has not confirmed for the reasons stated above) on one point means that we should not believe “righteous horsehit.” OTOH, “nowhere did [heet] say the AP was pristine or Jamil wasn’t manipulating the press or we should believe everything we hear in the news.” heet wants to have it both ways—the AP may have things wrong and Jamil may be manipulating them, but no one should question it, because if the critics are wrong on one point, they should be disbelieved.  Of course, heet does not hold the AP or Jamil to the same standard.  There is a word for this: hackery.

  35. Defense Guy says:

    OK, heet has to be a parody.  Well played whoever you are.

    For the record, I don’t do anything that doesn’t have a nefarious purpose.  I’m just powerful like that.

  36. commander0 says:

    Nuance?  What is that, heet, some river in Egypt?  Because the word I know would never be used to describe the sledgehammer these boys have just beaten you, GiGi and the AP with

  37. happyfeet says:

    So now AP is leveraging the Jamil Hussein episode like this:

    Gunmen drove through a marketplace in southwestern Baghdad, spraying bullets into food and clothing stalls and killing three Sunni Muslim shopkeepers, a police officer said on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media<i>.

    Seems like they could have saved themselves a lot of trouble if they had just adopted this unwieldy little locution earlier. Now, it seems like a transparent attempt to change the subject from accuracy to “the difficult environment in which we work.” As self-aggrandizing as it is self-defeating.

  38. burrhog says:

    Seeking to reinforce heet’s stereotype of a Jesus lovin’ red-stater:

    I’m thinkin’ that in a sane world these fellas would be given about thirty seconds to explain themselves before being barked at by dogs, stacked in a nude pyramid, led around naked on a leash by a butch army volunteer, have their nut sacks wired in series to a 900 amp tractor battery, water-boarded and then asked again what the hell they are up to. Repeat as necessary.

    Also, there wouldn’t be any live helicopter video of the port area streaming into my living room. There would just be a small blurb on page A6 of the Miami Herald that some “potential terrorists were thwarted by sensible Homeland Security agents last Sunday…”.

  39. Ed Minchau says:

    they are simply angry that the entire media won’t turn into a BushCo propaganda organization

    Nah, I’m just angry that the entire media has turned into an anti-American propoganda organization.

  40. Darleen says:

    happyfeet

    What’s even funnier is that here in BushReichland, law enforcement agencies frown unhappy frowns (and write nasty things in personnel files) if an officer speaks to a reporter without prior clearance or authorization.

  41. happyfeet says:

    I guess it’s a sign of progress that the notoriously corrupt Iraqi police are at least acknowledging that they are accountable for their behavior, but isn’t it likely that the officers eager to break media protocol would be drawn from the pool of officers who are rather casual about rule-following generally?

    But I think the point is that the reporter on this story could have easily confirmed the marketplace incident without suborning a police officer. But then he would have had to forego the deliciousness of injecting a patina of heroic first amendmentyness into his report that reminds readers that he is working under really really tough conditions.

  42. happyfeet says:

    Actually, it looks like we are to believe that in Iraq, a rampaging trio of gunmen can kill three people and the only source for this information is, understandably, a lone anonymous police officer.

    Under AP’s rules, material from anonymous sources may be used only if:

    1. The material is information and not opinion or speculation, and is vital to the news report.

    2. The information is not available except under the conditions of anonymity imposed by the source.

    3. The source is reliable, and in a position to have accurate information.

  43. McGehee says:

    Pfeh. If people like heet didn’t gibber, the blogosphere would be a much quieter place.

    Also a much more intelligent place, but everything’s a tradeoff.

    (The above is © 2007, All Rights Reserved)

  44. heet says:

    Because the word I know would never be used to describe the sledgehammer these boys have just beaten you, GiGi and the AP with

    That was a sledgehammer?  I don’t give a fuck about the bathrobe brigade and their Google skillz.  As I’ve mentioned before, I post here for purely therapeutic reasons.  I enjoy taunting you cocksuckers.

    heet wants to have it both ways—the AP may have things wrong and Jamil may be manipulating them, but no one should question it, because if the critics are wrong on one point, they should be disbelieved.

    No, but when outrageous claims and accusations of treason are nonchalantly barfed out and then discredited, you don’t do yourselves any favors.  The wingnut-o-sphere has gained zero credibility from this issue. 

    Keep patting yourselves on the back for pointing out reporting the news in Iraq is a messy business.  Many people who care enough to pay attention know that.  For those who don’t… Well, if they even knew about the Jamil stories it was lost in the clutter of other mass killings, kidnappings, and bombings. 

    But you totally burned the AP man!

  45. McGehee says:

    Heet, maybe you’d get better therapy by taunting actual wingnuts who actually say what you’re attributing to them.

    This is not that place.

  46. Dan Collins says:

    Keep patting yourselves on the back for pointing out reporting the news in Iraq is a messy business.  Many people who care enough to pay attention know that.  For those who don’t… Well, if they even knew about the Jamil stories it was lost in the clutter of other mass killings, kidnappings, and bombings.

    But you totally burned the AP man!

    Hmmm.  Okay, so accuracy is unimportant, just so long as the right gestalt is established?  What if I were to be a real totalitarian wingnut and tell you, “Fuck the Freedom of Information Act: be satisfied with what the government gives you”?

    You impress me as an ugly person, heet, if cocksucker taunting is your idea of therapy.  Cockslapping . . . now that’s another story entirely.

    Oh, and bite me again.

  47. ahem says:

    beet:

    How many fingers am I holding up? Just one. You need to be fitted for some new glasses…

  48. heetroot in a time of prozactus says:

    induction

    DRAFT BEER NOT POEPEL !!!

  49. TheGeezer says:

    Dan.  DAN!

    Do not invite heet to bite you.  Only a very superficial review of his posts betrays logic impaired by years of tertiary syphilis, identical to that Vladimir Lenin suffered before his gruesome, poison-deprived death.

    I know that syphilis at this stage is not contagious.  But other STDs are likely.  Ya know?

  50. CraigC says:

    taunt 1 (tônt)

    tr.v. taunt·ed, taunt·ing, taunts

    1. To reproach in a mocking, insulting, or contemptuous manner. See Synonyms at ridicule.

    2. To drive or incite (a person) by taunting.

    n.

    A scornful remark or tirade; a jeer.

    I could only be prouder if you were making actual arguments.

  51. Dan Collins says:

    geez, don’t worry about it.  I was actually thinking of this:

    Arthur Clement Hilton (1851-1877)

    Octopus

    By Algernon Charles Sin-Burn

    1Strange beauty, eight-limbed and eight-handed,

    2 Whence camest to dazzle our eyes?

    3With thy bosom bespangled and banded

    4 With the hues of the seas and the skies;

    5Is thy home European or Asian,

    6 O mystical monster marine?

    7Part molluscous and partly crustacean,

    8 Betwixt and between.

    9Wast thou born to the sound of sea trumpets?

    10 Hast thou eaten and drunk to excess

    11Of the sponges—thy muffins and crumpets,

    12 Of the seaweed—thy mustard and cress?

    13Wast thou nurtured in caverns of coral,

    14 Remote from reproof or restraint?

    15Art thou innocent, art thou immoral,

    16 Sinburnian or Saint?

    17Lithe limbs, curling free, as a creeper

    18 That creeps in a desolate place,

    19To enroll and envelop the sleeper

    20 In a silent and stealthy embrace,

    21Cruel beak craning forward to bite us,

    22 Our juices to drain and to drink,

    23Or to whelm us in waves of Cocytus,

    24 Indelible ink!

    25O breast, that ‘twere rapture to writhe on!

    26 O arms ‘twere delicious to feel

    27Clinging close with the crush of the Python,

    28 When she maketh her murderous meal!

    29In thy eight-fold embraces enfolden,

    30 Let our empty existence escape,

    31Give us death that is glorious and golden,

    32 Crushed all out of shape!

    33Ah! thy red lips, lascivious and luscious,

    34 With death in their amorous kiss,

    35Cling round us, and clasp us, and crush us,

    36 With bitings of agonised bliss;

    37We are sick with the poison of pleasure,

    38 Dispense us the potion of pain;

    39Ope thy mouth to its uttermost measure

    40 And bite us again!

  52. maggie katzen says:

    so geezer are you saying that if a “heet” bites you, you become one?  *shivers*

    why do you all let him continue to pee on the rug? he’s asked many times for a banning. so for once, why not make his predictions come true? Let him go back to the playground to call people names and get his “therapy”.

  53. Defenseman Emeritus says:

    heet blustered:

    The wingnut-o-sphere has gained zero credibility from this issue.

    Maybe not with people like you it hasn’t, but no one in the “wingnut-o-sphere” gives a shit what you think.  You’re less than insignificant, and because you’re a loser who got beat up a lot in high school, you try to work through your repressed anger by puffing up your sunken, spindly chest in blog comments “for therapeutic reasons.” I feel sorry for you.

    The crucial thing is that the AP now realizes that if it doesn’t bother fact-checking its own stories, there are people out there who’ll do it for them, to the ongoing detriment of the AP’s credibility and image.

  54. TheGeezer says:

    39Ope thy mouth to its uttermost measure

    40 And bite us again!

    Anyone know how to get bourbon out of a laptop keyboard?

  55. Pablo says:

    For those who don’t… Well, if they even knew about the Jamil stories it was lost in the clutter of other mass killings, kidnappings, and bombings.

    And multiple immolations.

    There it is, finally: Jamil Hussein is fake but accurate. Can’t you hear the din, wingnuts?

  56. Patrick Chester says:

    Darleen wrote:

    heet is of the belief that wingnutters are terminally angry paranoids and never engage in satire, humor and ironic musings.

    Heet is a posterboy for the word “projection”.

  57. Mike says:

    “61 stories.  From a guy who may be a propagandist.  Or who may be a composite character.  Does this not pique your interest, heet?”

    No no, of course not. See, he’s telling the CORRECT stories. No need to question him or them, no need at all. His heart’s obviously in the right place.

    Now, Faux News, on the other hand…

  58. commander0 says:

    And the word “anus”

  59. furriskey says:

    Turn your back for a moment and the madmen erupt from the woodwork. Who is this 24 karat cretin heet? What point is he trying to make?

    We establish that AP has been attributing its reports to a non-existent ‘source’, and heet manages to convert that into an assertion that Dan is a McCarthyite paranoiac.

    He also seems to think that gratuitous use of obscenity will somehow add weight to his assertions.

    Sad little fellow. Possibly in a “live in” situation with Amanda.

  60. Dan Collins says:

    furriskey, I think it might be a live-in situation with Gleen.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  61. furriskey says:

    Oh dear. But who are we to point the finger?

    He might reverse onto it.

  62. Patrick Chester says:

    furriskey:

    Turn your back for a moment and the madmen erupt from the woodwork. Who is this 24 karat cretin heet? What point is he trying to make?

    He’s one of those folk that take pleasure in spewing and/or inflicting abuse upon people.

    You know, an asshole.

  63. TheGeezer says:

    But who are we to point the finger?

    The finger might be enough upon which to pivot all that for which heet is, or stands, or asserts to be true.  For what else is there in a godless universe?

  64. furriskey says:

    But I don’t want Heet pivoting on my finger.

  65. Additional Blond Agent says:

    And now we have Cynn down on her/his knees servicing Heet in the next thread up.  Bile meets profanity.  I feel ill.

  66. Darleen says:

    Sad little fellow. Possibly in a “live in” situation with Amanda

    Possibly explains his obsession with cocksucking.

  67. cynn says:

    blondie:  You’re sick, and I do nothing of the sort.  Figure it out, bileman. cheers.

  68. Additional Blond Agent says:

    On the one hand:

    Heet has poked some festering boils; don’t overreact by retreating to the well-protected endzone.

    and on the other:

    blondie:  You’re sick, and I do nothing of the sort.  Figure it out, bileman. cheers.

    Chuckle.  Speaking of poking festing boils…

    Layers and nuance all in one finely crafted package.

  69. Fantastic says:

    Sad little fellow. Possibly in a “live in” situation with Amanda

    Possibly explains his obsession with cocksucking.

    But what explains yours with Amanda?

  70. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Who is obsessed with Amanda, Fantastic / teh l4m3?  Dan was reacting to a post that claimed to summarize his post—incorrectly, as is Marcotte’s tradition—and then commenters here responded to Dan’s post.

    Obsession with someone would be, oh, I don’t know, putting together an entire fake website that attempts to mimic him or her (usually very poorly), say. Or doing long, “Adlerian” analyses on his or her psychology based on blog comments purposely pulled from their context.  Or trotting out same “Adlerian” analysis everytime said subject speaks, in a pathetic attempt to discredit the object of the obsession, even as doing so continues to fetishize him or her. 

    Incidentally, I understand that I’m your favorite failed-academic-cum-hausfrau, teh l4m3 / Fantastic—and I appreciate the fixation, if only for its tenaciousness—but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t creep me out a bit.

    Now scurry back to Amanda’s blog and report that you’ve dutifully poked the wingnut hive mind with your pointy little head.  Amanda does demand her tithes.

  71. The Lost Dog says:

    Before yesterday, I had nevert hreard of Amanda.

    After reading Pan-whatever for about an hour, all I can say is: “Amanda, if your dick can reach your ass, go fuck yourself”. And is there any question that you have one, or at least lust for one?

    “Fuck logic. I’m pissed!

    “I can’t do it by myself, so it’s your fuckin’ fault! You fucking dickmasters! I am better than you, even if I’m the only one who knows it!”

    Amanda , you are precious! A true American relic…

    Thanks for the laughs

    TW: miss83. Jeff, I thought I’d done enough insulting, but you kicked my butt with this.

    Miss?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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