It’s looking like Monday. Finally. And yes, I expect pie. Something with fruit, too. Because custard says, “meh, whatever”—and after being jettisoned by the wingnut in-crowd, I simply can’t handle that kind of pudding-like rejection right now.
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Recent Comments
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rhubarb okay, too, I guess. If it’s the best you can muster.
Or hell, just give me whatever’s left over from the latest Ace party.
They had pie over there? Shit.
How about pumpkin? KBR serves lots of pumpkin. Perhaps I can send you some.
Pie, most of old commenters…
RTO: pumpkin? why not just spit on me and call me Nancy McFlaccid.
Yeah, time to go lift weights.
When I come back, I need to be SHREDDED! With hands like Charles Bronson.
Oh, and hopefully I’ll be able to hear out of left ear by then, too. Although hearing things coming from the left is overrated these days.
BAM!
Key lime? Bright, zingy taste, and a flaky crust that melts in your mouth. You’ve earned it! Glad to have you back, Jeff.
Pre-emptive denial:
I did NOT have sex with that Armadillo!
SB: physical41
Hey, it’s what I can get.
Haliburton plot, of course.
Will tarts suffice?
I’d be happy with a target date, but I think all we’re asking for is a “phased arrival” plan, at a minimum, with full consultation with all parties involved. How can we have any confidence in the success otherwise?
You know JG, I shut down my RSS reader over the past month so I have no idea why you’d be jettisoned by anyone, DOS attacks, etc.
I do know that (and I mean no insult to your guest posters as I’m sure they’ve done a wonderful job) I filtered my feed so that I only got your posts. PW is JG. So your return to full-time, slavish blog devotion will mark a rather happy event in my life.
Now, as far as the pie goes, I suggest a tart, granny smith apple pie. Crunchier than Macintosh with none of the feminist overtones of a golden delicious.
Ooooooh, I’ll start m’baking on Sunday. I would make strawberry/rhubarb, but that would be out-of-season. Apples? Mushie and mealy in January. It’s citrus season …so, Key Lime Pie it is!!!!!
Jettisoned? Nobody at my goose-stepping class told me.
‘course they all go out for pie together after class.
Can’t go, allergic.
Fruit, you say? Watermelon pie it is!
The perfect storm. Goldstein returns and now the DNC is coming to Denver.
I’m NOT going north of C470 when that thing rolls in to town.
Here, here. I second Robb Allen’s comment. I alas, was not smart enough to know how to filter the guest posters. Glad you will be back full time. I thought the new house excuse was wearing thin. I’ll drop off a caramel apple pie in Wash park if you tell me where and when.
Cherry pie is the best pie in the world and I’ll kill anyone who doesn’t agree. Apple’s OK. Those “pudding†pies aren’t even pies**. Lemon or chocolate plasma baked on top of piecrust and covered with shitty marshmallow goo ain’t pie. Might as well cut your feet off in the middle of eatin’ one of these things because by the end you’re gonna have Type II Diabetes.
Wave one of these plasma-filled-abominations around me and truculence will be the least of your problems.
Us imaginary friends are the only real friends you got Jeff.
** Special exemptions for Pecan pie and Coconut Cream pie. They taste too good.
Glad you’re back, but I don’t bake pies. Sorry.
Was it officially announced that the DNC is going to be here? and when is it, so I can plan a vacation to another state? preferably dragging my husband along, since he works downtown.
How about a Strawberry Pop Tart and a Fresca?
RC Cola and a Moon Pie?
Holy crap, you know a thread’s getting out of hand if the Ray Stevens references come into play.
Who’s Jeff Goldstein? And why does he want pie?
Listen you wingnuts and you shall hear,
of the pending return of our blogger so dear.
On the third Monday, two thousand and seven,
his posts will arrive, like manna from heaven.
Expect the adventures of a drunk armadillo
who’s wandered to Denver from near Amarillo.
And a ticking clock, who’s extential existence
has amused and amazed with startling persistence.
And olitical riffing, with insight so clear
and humor and sillyness, all in good cheer.
So “Welcome Back!” Jeff,
we’ve all missed your posting
it’s time to give trolls
a really good roasting!
I have no recollection of hearing the impact thud from any jettisoning (is tha a real gerund or am I just making stuff up like the AP?). And face it, with all those mountains in Colorado, something would have emitted a thud. Ooops–I forgot everything is buried under snow at the moment.
So, strike all that. Will we get full wall-to-wall coverage when they dig Jeff out? A la Oregon mountain climbers or US 40 avalanches?
As for pie, I cast my screeching red state vote for blackberry cobbler under, say, a full stick of whatever New Zealand butter Glenn Reynolds says is good today.
The appropriate choice would, of course, be mincemeat… since Jeff’s return undoubtedly means he’ll be making some outta moonbats.
But now y’all have reminded me of college days, and 2 friends who started every day with Mountain Dew and Twinkies.
tw: How does it know they ate ‘em in Don’s car, early 70’s turquoise Mustang w/ white roof? We’d skip classes in favor of checking out the Pawn Shops in E. St Louis.
YEAAAAAAAA!!
Don’t even get me started on flan…
Oh, and boysenberry all the way baby!
BornRed,
And your remembrance reminds me of my husband and his buds favorite breakfast: sour cream frosted cake donuts and ice cream.
Don’t forget the Caddie Shack reference, “I want some french fries and a hamburger and a Coca-Cola…”
“You’ll get nothing! And like it!”
What no nutburger pie. No mix of pecans, hazelnuts, walnuts, cashews, brazil nuts, even a few beech and pine nuts, finshed off with a binding custard of bourbon, Frangelica, eggs, mollases, vanilla, and maple syrup to make a big old wacky nutty pie?
Actually the real nutburgers (i.e., Cindy Sheehan, Deb Frisch, Daily Kos, etc.) make their pies out of shit–at least it smells like that anyway.
If you fill a pie crust with a bottle of Tequilla and throw in a handfull of red pills, is that considered pie?
Because if it isn’t I want no part of this farce!
Tarts are welcome. They can hand feed all those pies to Jeff, and provide other services of a more, ummmmmm, personal nature as well. Just be sure to get enough for everyone; I’m sure that there are enough hookers in Denver to cover us (heh!).
OOOOOOO, I can feel the love, yeah!
PS: How about mincemeat pie? I’ve always wanted to try and make one.
Hare pie! Did I spell that right?
(I think I did, my turing word is “writing28.”
Alice,
August 25-28, 2008 and yes, I’ve already put in my vacation request so I can be out of town then.
Robert Anton Wilson is dead, alas. http://robertantonwilson.blogspot.com/index.html
Perhaps in memoriam you can repost Masks of the Liberal Illuminati.
Oh for shit! That sucks.
Well I guess it’ll have to be apple pie then.
I am, as we type, eating a delicious hand-sized cherry pie from Wal-Mart. I think these babies are 50 cents each.
Although the best pie is homemade black raspberry. (Though blackberry will do as a substitute.)
Kolaches, I presume, are right out. Cuz a poppyseed kolache is one excuse for failing a random drug test at work, which should not be forgotten.
I once knew a restauranteur whose meringue pies were famous for their height. The secret? Turkey egg whites. The taste? Just like chicken.
Key Lime, yum.
Blackberry, yum, yum.
To this day, I still do not understand Mince-meat Pie…..
Tomatoes are fruit, yanno.
It’s gotta be cherry pie, but not the stuff they sell in stores, which should be labeled cornstarch pies, with cherries added. Home made cherry pie. I knew there were even more reasons I love Mrs D.
Of course, it’ll be about 5 months before the cherries are in season…
From north of the 49th, I’ll send Saskatoon berry. Delish. And to help make up for my being a practically non-existent guest-poster (or commenter, either, thanks to my new job and then a horrible rash of migraines in the last two months).
3.1416…
Mmm, pie. –Oh, you mean for Jeff. Yes, I suppose that can be arranged…
Regards,
Ric
MarkD, my mom was telling me about some frozen ones she bought tonight. seems they can freeze anything nowadays.
Jeff,
Quit teasing. By now you must know what “doing a sreenplay” entails. At one time, I wanted to be in the “music business”. Then I found out who was in control, and what they thought of my “talent”.
Have you figured out yet that your “angels” want nothing more than to suck every ounce of creativity out of you, and than claim it for their own?
Maybe you were very lucky, and this didn’t happen to you. If you were, watch ever closer.
You may have a contact who actually believes in you, but keep your eyes open. Most people in the “management” area are nothing but Remoras, looking to suck the talent and the life out of you, and then claim your efforts as their own.
Sorry if I sound pompous, but I’ve been there more than once.
Whatever. If you don’t have an ego like Rick James(!), watch your back…
Excuse me, sir. We are talking about NRBQ and only NRBQ.
Ray Stevens is known for “Ahab, the Arab and only “”Ahab, ther Arab”.
Sorry.
I stand corrected.
I think I got the moon pies and pomegranates mixed up. Both are inedible, so that’s completely understandable…
Well, that and Gitarzan.
Bad news about the pie. Well, I don’t know how to say this any other way but “That ship has sailed.” Now, now we’re eating a lot of gelato and mousse. It’s more european. It gives the US a better image of listening to other views and not acting unilaterally….
Are they gone?
(psst….It’s because of the damn democrats in congress they’re killing me, man. I have to get some beef jerky before I get all euro’d out. When you come back bring a stash)
Ray Stevens also had a little something to do with the forty-third annual convention of the Grand Mystic Loyal Order of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine, in Hahira, Georgia.